Shakai

1. Gender? female 2. Age? almost 16. 3. What do you consider self injury to be? intentionally inflicting pain on yourself. 4. How long have you self injured? on and off for four years. 5. How frequently do you self injure? When it's bad, every night. Other times I can go weeks. 6. Are others aware you do this? Two of my friends. 7. How have others responded to your self injury? Has this been helpful or unhelpful? One empathises with me. The other doesn't say anything. They're both helpful in their own way. 8. Have you ever sought help, medical or otherwise? I went to a counsellor the first time and she helped. I haven't seen one since. 9. How long does a self injury session usually last? How do you feel before, during and after? It's like a pressure building up throughout the day. I get angry and frustrated and then do it, each session lasts about ten minutes. Then I either feel better or hate myself more afterwards. 10. How do you know when it's time to stop a particular session? When I run out of skin, anymore and it would be too noticeable. 11. Are you aware of any labels attached to you as a self injurer? Emo. 12. Is self injury helpful to you? In what way? It allows me to forget everything. Emptying all the problems into slashes, which are easier to deal with. 13. Have you ever lost a therapist because s/he couldn't deal with your self-injury? no. 14. Would you like to give up self injury? Yes and No. Right now I do, I've been clean for 2 weeks.

Wow, thank you for all the comments. They mean so much to me. My friend I and have kinda come to a non-verbal conclusion. It hasn't actually come up in conversation. (I've been too afraid to actually mention it to her). But she knows that I'm bi now, and we hold hands and joke about doing kissing for pocky. I'm comfortable with it.

Painterchic is right. I've been on Myspace and seen accounts where the person looks really popular and friendly, and has so much of a life. I know them in real life and it's completely opposite. Those sites are about creating a new character for yourself that doesn't have to be completely true. As for having no identity, remember it's the little things that make a person. Like quirks and sense of humour.

I know it's not easy to confide in your friends because you might be afraid of their reactions, but if one of them was cutting would you want them to confide in you? You're not pathetic. No one is. Cutting is quick release, try not to lose yourself in it. You'll only feel worse afterwards, for not being strong enough. Just occupy yourself with other things, say you haven't got time to do it. It's hard to resist when the urge is strong, but when it's gone and you don't have to worry about bandaging or cleaning it you'll feel better.

~Removed because of a sudden panic that someone I know might have read it~

Thanks for replying. I think I will talk to her next time I see her in person. But what do I say? "Hi, I like you a lot. Do you feel the same?" eugh.

It's good you are there for her, just keep reminding her that you aren't going to leave her side. Does she know that you used to cut? She might open up to you more about why she does it, and how you can help her. I'm in the same situation as you are. My friend is a cutter and I know she won't stop if I ask her, because I do it too and that's hypocrisy. I just let her know that I'm there for her through the good and the bad. It's taking a while but she is getting through the road to recovery. Just staying friends with your friend is great. Don't let her go through it alone.

I've been best friends with this girl for several years now. This year she's come out that she's bi and I'm secretly bi as well. There was a rumour going around school that we were dating but we both denied it (because she thought I was straight) I've fancied her for so long but I didn't want to say anything in case it ruined our friendship, and this last week when we were both drunk I told her I was bi and I kissed her. I admitted that I wanted to kiss her before and she said the same to me but the next morning we both didn't say anything. I don't know if she regrets it or not. What should I do?