Hey everyone...I'm new to this...anyway: I dated this girl for 2 years, and during these 2 years, I was quite a flirtatious person. I would talk to girls, would give them the "look," but would never act on anything at all. I never told another girl I loved her, and never became physical with any of them in any manner. Moving on, my girlfriend knew about this flirting, and often became very upset, and I would obviously become very sad and ashamed of myself. Well, finally, after her trust in me almost completely dimished, I stopped my B-S. I even stopped looking at girls all together. However, the trust with her was almost gone, and she ended up moving 2000 miles away, while making promises she would stay with me, and hoped I would do the same for her. Well, her moving accross the country crushed me, and I felt so lost and confused without this girl I knew was perfect. 2 months later...I find emails of hers from some guy...my girlfriend and this guy are writing sweet things to each other, and they plan on meeting, even though this guy is a few states away. So, I freak out, and I call her at 5 in the morning and confront her while I'm trembling and hurting deep inside. She becomes sad, then tells me this guy is special, then tells me she wants sort of a break, but that she loves me, and that nothing will happen with this guy. So...a week later, she and I are REALLY good again; I mean, we are just being sweet, cute, and great to each other. Then, the day that this guy is supposed to visit her arrives... Just before she hangs up the phone, she promises me that nothing at ALL will happen, and that she is upset in me not having faith in her... So...she doesn't call me for 3 days... Then, the guy leaves, she calls me, sounds VERY weird, and informs me that they made out quite a few times; so, once again, I freak out, and cry uncontrollably. The next week is awful; she tells me over and over that this guy is special. So, what do I do? I take a plane out to see her, and whoa, things came out great. We basically fell back in love. Kisses....embracing each other...love...other things... I ask her how she feels about this guy now and she says, "things change." So, I stay an extra day cuz she wants me to, and then I head back home, excited and feeling very loved. Then...a few days go by...and she's talking to this guy again, and its getting worse. Finally, the day arrives. I tell her that I can't take it anymore, and that I'm so hurt and disgusted in the way she claims to value trust when she herself is doing things behind my back. Then, after she almost completely loses it in anger, she says, "and you know what? I slept with him! TWICE!." After that...I was a mess. I didn't eat for 2 weeks. We talked every now and then, and she says she can not make a choice between me or him. Keep in mind that she is returning to my state right at this very moment, and that being with this other guy would be impossible until way down the road. Well...she tells me she is not in love with me anymore...however, she loves me, and the "future is undecided." She says she is VERY into this guy, and would be with him if he lived in our state, but he doesn't, and she needs time to grow, and see what the future offers her. Basically....I need to know if I'm just wasting my time... Everyone tells me that I'm her "bitch," and that I should stop wasting away to nothing over someone who cheats and goes against everything she previously claimed to oppose. Well...she never told this guy that she and I did anything while I visited her, and remains not telling him. Also, she wants for me not to tell anyone she slept with this guy, because "it's her secret." I'm so stuck over this girl...I hate/love her all at the same time, and I can't figure out what to do... I don't eat any more, and all I think about is how the scenario must have looked. I hate this feeling immensely, and hope someone can be of some help.
