astrix

because i was to unstable to take care of her

](*,) Well i need to get some things off my chest befor i brust. I have no where else to say it or someone to say it to so i hope its ok i type here i am young mummy i have a 3yr old daughter in care and it tearing me apart and it hurts so much that i lay in bed at night and think about all my stuff ups seens she was taken all that i have left unsaid and then think how much i want her home but know it will never happpen , i kissed everyone * * * to make sure i can see her where now i know if the grovement whgo r looking after her says anything i will say something i shouldnt! I stuffed up my famliy and now im suffering for it i have had depression seens i was 13 and self harmed seens i was 12 or 10 and when i gave birth to my beautiful daughter at 16 my depression left then i got depressed lost her and started cutting again i dont know what to do i think im getting to the point where im going say to myself its finished now go home to grandad and warwick and grandama (all dead) im sick of being told im high risk of suicide ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Nicky

* * * * i started cutting again but no meds to take there all gone

thank u everyone

Ok clear something up my daughter is in care she has been for 3 years ok and another thing it got me really upset about putting her at risk IM SO SICK OPF PEOPLE TELLING ME THIS NO WONDER I POP PILLS AND WANNA CUT man im getting tried maybe i should dig a hole and never worry about nothin , i wanna ask u this how would u cope only seeing ur daughter 1 a month for 2 hrs not watching her grow up like if she was at home only getting called mummy nicky and watching the froster carrers get called mummy and daddy making sure i kiss everyone butt so i can make sure i still see her i may be selfish but it so hard as a mother not being there! to be honest i dont give * * * * if this pills kill me at least i know i am happy the way im livving my life craszy or not Nicky

thanks to all thoose who have replyed but honest this pills make me feel ok and i guess it is bad but it is better then nothin , thank you for ur kind comments and yes that little girl in the pic with me is my baby daughter she so sweeeeeeeet and pretty nicky

i am taking astrix (asprin 100mg) 8 a day when ur only meant to take 1 , coversyl 2mg 1 a day , Isordil 10mg 1 a day and my meds zypexa and efforx ... no im not getting help i dont need it .. slow death is so sweeeeet. Nicky

](*,) hi !!!! i need to know weather i am being crazy , i have started taking my fathers heart pills and i dont know why i am just so dead inside i dont care , i dont need help i just wondering is this is risky? Thanks Nicky

Hello my name is nicky , im not whining i just need to know if im crazy. Well i have been suicidal for the last 5 weeks and instead of taking my life im taking my fathers asprain and my depression tablets , let me explan what is going on. I was pregnant at 15 gave birth to a beautiful little girl when i was 16 when she was 7 months old i lost to DOCS! I have had depression seens i was 13 and im now 19 but when i fell pregnant i felt good about myself again and i wasnt depressed anymore when she was born my life turnet a new leaf she gave me strength to feel good again and i aloud myself to be happy for the first time in ages! Then i lost her seens then i gone a down wood sprail. I dont feel complete and know im looking at this way no one tells me im a good mother no one hugs me and says it will be ok just once i would like someone to turn around and say to me im a good mum , my little girl is now 3 and i dont think i can live know what ive done the fact my little girl in care i know it sounds selfish but i dont feel like a mum even though i know i am if that makes sense ... when i see her once a month i feel good and then i go bad again for 2 hrs i feel good i just dont think i face the fact i can live like this anymore is that wrong , i know as she gets older she want to know me and have me in her life and i know its selfish but i just keep going on like this. Dont tell me its going to get better cause it wont ... am i crazy Nicky