We've been dating on and off for about 5 years. He's always been a drinker, but he drinks more and more frequently each year. He's a fun drunk, by the way. Never says a mean thing or shows any bad traits. Just a fun-loving, laid back drinker. He's now up to 10-12 beers per night and sometimes he'll only buy 6 and then turn to whatever liquor is in the cabinet. He usually drinks all by himself, just sitting on our back porch. I'll have a few drinks per week. We went on vacation 3 weeks ago and ever since we came back, he's been drinking every single night, no less than 6 beers. We've had a few major fights since then (me telling him I can't stand him drinking so much, him telling me he's just having fun and I need to let him be himself). Finally, after an argument on Saturday night, he told me he'd try and cut back. Sunday and Monday night he didn't drink at all. Tuesday he probably had 10 beers (it was his Friday night since he works randomly through the week) and last night we had fun going out to dinner with friends. On our way home, he wanted to stop and get smokes, upon which he came back to the car with a 6 pack. It was 9:30pm at that point and we both had to work at 8am this morning. Needless to say, I went to bed and woke at 1:30am to find him not in bed and my heart sank. I just knew he finished those 6 and went on to drink the vodka I had hidden from him. Half the bottle was gone and I felt sick to my stomach knowing he will never change. I approached him last night and just looked at him in disappointment, he claimed it was he was just partying because it's his day off. His parents are alcoholics and so are two of his best friends. Whenever I tell him he has a problem, he says at least he doesn't drink as much as those friends of his (he used to claim that at least he doesn't drink liquor, just beer). In the past, he's denied he has a major problem, but sometimes he'll admit to wanting to drink less and be more healthy, and that he needs my help. He tells me to have faith in him, but we're not even engaged yet and how much more time should I waste on him if he's never going to change and it upsets me like it does. I've left him once because of this and he told me he didn't drink much anymore, so I came back. He told me he lied because he loved me so much and just wanted me back in his life. I love him and I pray that he can cut back and drink like a normal person, but I'm afraid he can't. I've even gotten to the point where i can't cry when we talk about this and it worries me because it is breaking my heart, but i can't cry anymore. This morning, I left him a 3-page printout about alcoholics, highlighting what was relevant to his situation. I'm afraid of how he'll react to that, if I'll come home and he'll be angry with me and think I'm against him when I'm just trying to save him and our relationship. Any advice on how to handle tonight or his reaction or anything would be much appreciated!
