gw1470

I was in an abusive relationship for a year, it ended about four months ago but my self esteem has plummeted. My ex only lives down the road from me and we attend the same university and share the same friends. He doesn't see that he has done anything wrong, he hit me twice accross my body, and used to push and shove me. I didn't realise how much it has effected me, i've told a few of my close friends about what he's like and he has chosen to tell the rest of my friends that i was clingy and needy and still am, and he see's that he has done nothing wrong. He has a new relationship and keeps telling me how happy she makes him, and how unhappy i made him. With all these negative thoughts i have now adopted them, although i have had male interested i cannot face anything, i won't return their calls and feel sick when they initiate contact. I tried going out last week and saw my ex, he told me how nice he thought i looked, then after speaking to a friend about how he treated me and how it upset me he then came up to me and laughed in my face calling me something highly unpleasant. So i asked the bouncer to remove him. However because no one knows the truth they think it's because i am his crazy ex who as far as they are concerned can't see that he's got a new girlfriend and accept it. Which is far from it, i've asked him to leave me alone and he won't, i can't even leave the flat because it terrifies me of seeing him. When i went out this morning i saw him and it crushed me. I honestly don't know what to do...

Wow thank you so much for those words, i've researched into the narcissitic personality disorder, and i honestly don't think you could of hit the nail on the head any closer! It is uncanny of the similarities of his behaviour and the diagnosis. Unfortunately due to the circumstances i can't help him. But from observing it, it appears that he can only help himself and this disorder doesn't exactly allow self help. But thank you for restoring my faith that it wasn't my influence or fault and it is to do with him as a person!

My boyfriend and i broke up four months ago, and i really thought by now i'd be over him after the way he treated me. When we first met he was so charming and the first three months were blissful, then around his exams time i started seeing a different side to him. He would get angry at the smallest things and i put it down to examination stress. I would fall asleep in bed and wake up to him shoving me really hard.. he would never give a reason. This then progressed onto him gripping hold of me really hard and shouting into my face. A few months down the line he hit me for the first time, his excused was he was jetlagged after i had picked him up on the flight. And well after that period although he never hit me again he would shove me against walls and hold my neck again shouting at me. We stopped having sex as i was always to frightend and this began to formulate his excuse as to why he did the things he did. The thing is i know he did this to his last ex girlfriend as he told me and i just put it to the back of my mind. Anyway after we broke up i thought everything would get better for me. I confided in a few friends who said the usual why'd you stay with him? Answer: I thought he was passionate about me, the way he acted he used to say was because he loved me so much and he just wanted this relationship to work. But after three weeks of the end of our relationship he got into this new relationship, i was devastated (because i stupidly believed he still felt strongly about me) this girl i knew hates me as well as she used to date his best friend. And he has told me she knows everything about our relationship and that he hit me, and so does his friends (who i also know really well) and he made out that i had all these problems and i was such a handful i almost deserved it which i guess our friends now think... He would also ring me and tell me how much of a malicious and horrible person i was and make up stories about me spreading it amongst my friends. I hate feeling like this, when i first started university i was this loved person who everyone knew and wanted to know, and now i can't stand to go out because his girlfriends friends point, whisper and laugh about me, and my friends are getting so wound up with my behaviour as although they understand it, they feel its something i should get over, but how do i go about that? I almost want to report him, show him you can't treat other people like this but i know that his manipulative behaviour would get him out of it. I'm just at a loss and have started thinking horrible thoughts about how much easier everything would be if i just weren't here anymore?

because we share the same friendship group and i see him everyday because of this, and we were good friends before we went out so i don't see why that should have to end i guess.. i've always been successful with staying mates with exes so i guess i presumed it'd be easy...

I'm at a loss, for the past year i have been in a real difficult relationship, we went out for a year and he broke it off with me about four months ago. We were so turbulant and we're seeing a relationship counsellor because we really wanted it to work, bearing in mind we're both young and 20! I do blame myself for the break up as toward the end i didn't put the effort in and he was doing all the work. He seemed to get over me really quickly within three weeks he was going on a date, the thing is its with a friends of ours ex girlfriend. Whats worse is all my friends say that she is a spitting image of me, and i'm beginning to see it. He's been really horrible to me since and even flaunted it to me on my birthday party! I have started seeing someone as well but did not tell him and made sure he wouldn't see us out. I thought a after four months would mean we could be friends but he's not interested. I spoke to him over the phone and he said he didn't want to talk to me on the phone, as he is to busy. And that also he wasn't ready to be friends. Instead he wants to be civil instead!? ALthough we see each other everyday because of university he still wants to be civil? whats so wrong with being friends? i don't have those sorts of feelings for him anymore and he says he doesn't about me so why won't he be friends? i miss not having him as a friend and i can't imagine that he can't either? Do you think he feels strongly about me still? I can't help thinking he never gave himself the chance to get over me and he thinks by getting into a new relationship he'll get over me as he says he used to mope in the past but whats that point now? I'm just so hurt as i miss having a good friend...