Hey everyone I havent posted before but could use some support rite about now. My now ex fiancee that had moved here from another city to be with me upped and left behind my back acting like everything was okay till the very last minute! That was five weeks ago and I'm still a bit of a disaster. He changed his number once he got there and I hear about it from his mom...he's 36! I never thought that we would break up and I'd hear it from his momma! Its just devastating cuz he was my best friend for 3 years before this and chased me to be with me until I finally gave in to date him. I eventually fell in love with him and got ova! I cant believe this has happened at times I'm so up and down and feel empty and lost..We did have a rocky relationship from the beginning and I wasnt perfect at all..there were alot of threats where thruout the relationship I lived in fear that we would leave...he once packed up and left before cuz we got in a fight...again behind my back...and since then I lived in fear deep down...I was truly committed but I didnt trust his commitment...he's a non confrontational cat where if I encounter something I wont hold back...basically im more confrontational....I eventually did speak with him...he called me and left me a vmail that says to move on with your life we're over...we tried for two years and it wasnt working out so move on...there will never be an us in the future....I feel like he was such a coward doing it like this.....I then emailed him and aksed him to call me and he did bout five days later and I apologized for the stuff I felt I did wrong...he completely blamed me and not once took responsibilty for what he did....he said that there will never be a chance for us in the future and that he still has feelings for me but not in love with me and that this turned off when he made his decisoin that week he did it!!! Do you believe that? I dont know if he just sayin that to convince himself...I mean I did notice that last couple of weeks he wasnt as close whatever...He said he misses our friendship and the good times we had but not the relationship...he would be open to a friendship but he has this rule of no contact 6 mos and he said he'll prob. need longer in this case....why is that? Does he hate me that much? Also, I asked him if there was another girl....I guess cuz thats what everyone says when they hear the story and he kinda smirked annoyed almost and was like...no...theres not another girl I swear to god..I just want to be alone...and to heal...anyways, I am still hooked and sad and have been talking bout this all the time sad as hell and my mind hurts from all the thinking....if anything...I still want him back am I crazy?/?? I have even done some stupidness and gone to psychics where one tells you its done and he's got somebody else and the other tells you that he'll be back...which messes me up more..has anyone ever done that? anyways, please let me know what you guys think....I dont know is he hurting? can his mind change? I guess being on this end I envision him not hurting but his mom told me the other day that he isnt working yet and he doesnt seem as energetic...his friend told me he just seems normal the way anyone is after a breakup and not jumping off the walls...any insights and support would be greatly appreciated..sorry for the long post...thanks guys!!!! oh by the way...he said he is happy with his decision and that he is feeling peaceful again...thanks!
