learning1

No, I haven't gotten all decked out yet-that will be next week. I was referring to a time when we were out about a month ago and I thought that I looked pretty good. No, next week I will look even better! You are right, I do need to stop questioning myself. In fact, even if I think that I look good and am giving out positive vibes but still questioning the effect of that on him and on others then a sensitive person (like him for instance) is going to pick up on the questioning. Thanks so much for the insight!

I posted a note a few days ago and I was wondering if no matter how much I have improved my self esteem and try to make that visible to others will this guy with whom I ruined a relationship with because of my self doubts ever see the change in me? The last time I saw him we were talking about somebody who, I have to say is overly self confident in her ability to attract a man, and this guy thinks that it's funny and cannot understand why she is so hung up on herself. In her defense, I said that there was nothing wrong with her being very self confident. In response, this guy said to me in a very stern and serious tone and look(I felt like crawling under the table-like I was being scolded or something) that yeah, self confidence can go a long way or can do a lot of good. I got the hint that he was somewhat angry with me. Why would he be angry with me-it's my problem and not his? Maybe he is just frustrated because ever since we have been friends since the break up we have never talked about what happened. That same night I felt that I looked really good and I thought that I was projecting self-positivity, but apparently he never picked up on it. There have been a couple of time when he has tried to indirectly steer the conversation in the direction of relationships and dating and feelings and I respond either by silence or changing the subject. I know that I need to clear the air with this guy soon, but that will have to wait until after my exam is over. Anyway, I am just worried that no matter how good I feel about myself and how much I can make that visible to others that this guy will always see me as having no sexual self confidence. Is this a hopeless situation?

A couple of months ago I posted a topic and you might want to briefly look at it before answering this one. Briefly, I basically ended a relationship because I didn't think that I was beautiful or sexually experienced enough for this guy. I ended things right after having sex on Valentine's Day. Anyway, we have remained friends and have gone out with other friends and had good times. Recently, I cooked dinner for him and he showed up with a bottle of chilled wine and afterwards we went out for a few drinks. We had a wonderful time. Anyway, I have shyed away from being direct with him about how I still feel about him or even coming anywhere near approaching that subject with him because for the last two months I have been preparing for a big exam that I am going to take in a couple of weeks. At the conclusion of that big exam I will hopefully be seeing this guy to go out and celebrate and I need to know what I can do or say then to let him know that I have worked through things and that I feel better about how I look and that I completely realize that I was a dumbass before. How can I let him know without just coming out and saying so? Please help. I bought a sexy top (sophisticated sexy, that is) to wear that night and should I wear it?

Hello, I am new to this board and like many of you I am seeking advice. I am 28 years old and have almost zero sexual experience. I never dated in high school or in college. After college I met an older man who was impotent and so not a lot of sex for me there, but still I dated him for a long time. Recently, I met this wonderful guy and we dated for a couple of months until I screwed things up. We had sex a couple of times and I made sure that he knew about my lack of experience-he was very understanding, gentle and patient. After we would have sex I would become somewhat withdrawn and not want to be touched when he would want to hold me. He would ask what was wrong and I would tell him that I felt sexually inadequate for him and then he would say comforting things to me and then I would get over it and cuddle with him. One night though I could not stop thinking that I was bad in bed and that I couldn't understand why he was with me when there were so many beautiful women out there who knew what they were doing sexually. It got the best of me and so right after we had sex and suggested that maybe we shouldn't see each other any more. I kept going on and on trying to explain how I felt about this issue and he tried to stop me from going on about it but I kept going. I told him then that I still wanted to see him if he still wanted to see me and that I wished that I didn't think like I did. Anyway, the next day he told me that seeing me wasn't a good idea because he didn't think that I was going to stop thinking and saying those things. I couldn't blame him at all-if I had been him I would have done the same. For a few weeks after that he seemed miserable and I was miserable too although I made it a point not to show it. Anyway, we are still friends. When he sees me at school he always comes up and talks to me or sits with me if time permits. I have invited him to go out with me and my friends and we have a good time. The last time we went out a rather tipsy younger male friend of mine who thinks the world of this guy cornered him and was telling him that we would be happier together and the reason we broke up was really stupid. My friend kept pestering him the whole night off an on and I felt so bad about it, but this guy told me not to get upset with my friend since my friend was only acting out of concern. My friend eventually cornered this guy and me and started telling us both the same thing and this guy would look at me when he was agreeing with my friend's statements about us being happier together and etc.. This guy saw me give a goodnight kiss on the cheek to my friend and so later on when I drove this guy to his vehicle he gave me a quick kiss goodnight on the cheek-so it probably was just friendly. What should I do? Is there any chance for me? What's going on here? Please if you have made it this far then give me some candid advice and opinions. === ADDED FROM "Also let me add me" === (removed the original topic - SwingFox) Yes, I know that I had some serious issues and have had them for some time. I have been working through them these last couple of months and I have come to agree with this guy 100% when he told me that I was worth being with for a lot of reasons and that I deserve to be loved and in a good caring relationship. It took a lot of time and thinking and mistakes to get to this point, but I feel that now I am ready for a relationship. I just want to know if you think that I should talk to this guy about a second chance or not.