auss

Completely disagree.....a self professed "nice guy" is someone to be regarded as suspicious. Most nice people don't need to claim it, they live it. Anyone can claim to be anything, but through their actions is who they truly are.

hi all.....in about the same boat. After 2 years of long distance, 1/2 way around the world, we decided to be somewhere together. He interviewed in my city and it was not a "good fit", so I moved. When first getting here I was not thinking I would like to get married, but now after being here over a year, after facing immigration issues and taking a job paying 30,000 less a year that uses 1/2 my skills, and having no family here I really feel I would like a commitment before continuing to make further sacrifices. I have left my job, family, friends, have to even wear my hair differently because of the climate.The changes are big, but I don't mind if I knew what my intent was, or where all of this is going. Not being married, I wonder why I am here. I would really like for us to be connected in that way, of being family. Not marrying I would always feel that I am not totally linked, and I wonder if I would even be able to put into a relationship completely what I would if a formal commitment was in place. I don't know how to be a "partner", without marriage. His point of view is that he has been divorced and says he "can't marry me". At first it was because he is Catholic, and now who knows-I have asked him to elaborate but 2 weeks and nothing. I have written to Catholic priests and both say he can with certain considerations...I have not told him about writing the priests. His marriage was bad, the break up was worse. She has really done him over quite well, as she intended. He tells me every morning when we wake up "I love you darling....thank you God for sending this women into my life". He tells me thank you for all that you have done to be here with me. He tells me I am sexy, beautiful, cooks me dinner, is with me any time he is not at work-without being smoothering, asks for my opinon on issues. He says financially he wants to take care of me and build a future together. To keep going the way we have been. Maybe if I were from the same country and was established in work and all that life is I would not have the same type of concerns, however work is not the same here for me, I have had to put some of my normal activities on hold-such as volunteer work and have struggle with immigration to finally obtain permanent residency----which I paid for myself. I am having to learn really a new way of life. I first brought this up six months ago, thinking he wasn't ready I gave it a rest and time. I really don't want to leave, but ......................................