acral

...But cut off all contact with her. Most likely, she will come to you wanting to talk. She will ask you "do you have a minute" or something similar. From there, work on it as your feel. Your best bet is to let go, be nice to her and let it all die a natural death.

I would suggest counseling for both of you. Her alcohol dependence is a very real issue that must be addressed. If she refuses to address it, or is unable to address it, then you must protect yourself.

Her father died almost a year ago. For a time she was clinging to me, then told me that she felt "numb". I lost a contract and we moved. My family was not very receptive of her, and her family has always been open to her. We have three children together. She is gone. For two weeks, I begged, pleaded, cajoled, and so on to no avail. It was not the first time she left. It is the 5th time. The first time she met a guy, (we had no children), and everytime we saw each other we would cry. Sometimes make love, sometimes just talk. After that, we reconciled, and I learned that she had been with more men than I ever dreamed. I told her that was then, and I meant it. Since then, we had 3 children, our youngest just 1 year old. I miss them. She tells me that she cares about me, but she wants to live life on her own. She says there is no other man, and in spite of her history, I tend to believe her. She is looking for something. Her family is strong in their support for her and are are certainly good people. Today she will be picking up her stuff. She tells me to write up whatever divorce decree I want and she will sign it. She tells me of the guys sending her flowers after meeting them at the bar, she tells me that she is probably making a mistake. She tells me that she needs to be on her own. I sent flowers. I begged her for a week, then asked her not to call until she was ready to pick up her stuff. I am convinced that there is some man involved. The closest she would come is to say, "I turned my cell phone off, so there is your answer. " In another conversation she named a name. These were not profane screaming matches. I am hurt and confused. I want the hurt to go away. If, in all honesty, she said "I want to make it work", I would ask for a seperation based on the lies told. (Her place of work calling, looking for her when she was supposed to be at work). It's over. But it hurts. I love that woman and will always love her. I am confused and I feel lost.