sparklegirl

Deseo_a_morir, Wow! Like my husband you seem to be seeking that "breathless" feeling that we all have been deprived of after so many years of marriage. He wouldn't dear tell me this that has told many of our friends that what he wants most of all is to be left "breathless". Deseo_a-morir. Is this what you're seeking? You finally found the man you can leave you breathless and suddenly you're whole world is moving about you. I don't know what kind of husband your husband is but you need to talk to him about your emotional needs and wants. Every women seeks that and expect at least that much from their husbands (if I'm making any sense at all). That breathless feeling that you now have with this new man all that I am sad to say but will disapear over time. I'm sure that you're husband now left you breathless at some point in your relationship that's why you married him... When he had the affair you both made it work. You have to consider the hurt and pain that this man's wife is going to feel, she is also friend. Nothing hurts more then to be betrayed by your own good friend. I am sorry Deseo_a_morir... that you're going through this... it is hard but if you can turn your back and walk the opposite direction you can get over the feeling, and save many heart aches and pain.

cheating is absolutely not a healthy choice if you're trying to improve your relationship. if the love is lost try to rekindle it by doing things together, sharing thoughts. Take a mini vacation just the two of you. Anything but not cheating.

i pray every day that god show me a way to deal with it or give me the strength to leave. I know that one day he will answer my prayers. faith and hope and all i'm living by now. I will hurt while i wait for my prayers to be answer but i know that once they're answered i will happier then ever.

I've printed every conversation that I can find from this forum that he joined. The only thing i don't have are emails that girls send to him to his private email. I've already tried hiring a tech person to break the pastword... but because of the security measures that some of these sites have they weren't able to break teh code. I keep trying though in hope that I'll break it...silly huh?

i know in my heart that he is cheating... i'm sure he knows it too. most of all I am so scared of why lies ahead. Will i make it as a single mother... I've learned to depend on this man for the last 10 years of my life. I've shut out all friends and literally committed my last 10 years to him. What i've always wanted was to be a good wife, a good daughter in law, and a good mother. I didn't care if i had friends. I didn't care if i couldn't go dancing with friends on the weekends. All that didn't matter to me because i had him... and now this... I have bucket fulls of mix feelings. Don't know where to begin... what to do... what to say. I want so much to make this work for the both of us bcuz being with him is all I know. call me stupid... i can't even imagine me with another person really i can't. don't know what i'm going to do tomorrow if he wasn't here... take this. I can't even fall asleep if he's not lying next to me. Am I stupid or what?

i don't know what you mean. What picx...?

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and thank you for understanding everything from my point of view. I've been so confused and lost and alone. I just don't know what is right anymore. I love this man with all my heart and he knows it. I know too that he loves me... perhaps were not in love anymore. I don't know. Could two people not be in love yet has a love bond so strong that they don't want to throw that away? Is there such a thing? I've already tried to leave this man 3 times. Each time I had to fight him and never mad it out the door. he tells my i'm the center of his universe, he tells me he can only see himself growing old with me (no one else). He tells me that he loves me so much that it hurts him to death when I cry... I ask him then why do you do some of the things you do? Why can't you let go of the emails from the girls...Why can't you stop chatting? His response is "i'm not doing anything, i don't know what you're talking about" Urg!!! I'm so confused... does he love me or doesn't he? The question seems to be out of reach for me now...

he knows that i'm good to him as well. He doesn't the manly stuff and i do the womanly stuff... were both good to eachother in different ways... I told him... i'm fine with him chatting it's okay everyone does it. But he can't build feelings for a girl who he hardly knows... and that's what he's doing. Ever chance he gets he asks to meet the girl...girls now days are so desparate they say yes... urg.. frustrating

I've been married for 10 years. I have a beautiful 10 year old son... love him with all my heart. My husband has always been good to me. My car is always the one that gets the garage space... if I ran out of gas he'd be at the gastation pumping gas for me... if i looked tired and didn't feel like cooking... he said come on lets go out and grab a bite tonight so you don't have to cook. if i was sick he'd bring me medicine and food in bed. All this I thought was love... wouldn't you. The story... starts here. my husband and i both married at a very young age. 18 and 20 respectively. I was pregnant and we did the "right" thing by getting married. We struggled through college and now we both have great jobs. we had our little husband and wife disagreements but we've always made up, said sorry and let by gones be by gones and moved on with our lifes. I didn't know or feel that we were having marital problems until... the story gets complicated from here... but my cousin was having a bachlor party first weekend in october. my husband went and i tag along but stayed at a friends house. the day after the bachlor party he took a girl out. for 3 hours that sunday i could not get a hold of my husband... my gut tells me that something is wrong...when he finally called me he told me that he had gone out to lunch with his brother... then he said my cousin... then he said fine... the truth is I met a stipper last night... we were talking and she's asked me to lunch. I was pissed. "you didn't have to say yes" was my response. I let it go... i was very upset for a long time but learned to let things go only to find out exactly 3 weeks later that... this stripper he supposedly took out to lunch was a girl how he's met over the internet for over three weeks. They've been chatting and talking on the phone for over three weeks! I found a letter shortly after, a love letter. When i confronted him with the letter he said it was for me. He told me that he was planning a get away vacation... he was going to write a love letter because none of the cards in the stores says what he wants to convey. like a dumb * * * i believed him... one day in early november i was surfing the net and came accross his chat room... i was devastated by the things that he said on the site... now the girl, the love letter... everything fell into place like a puzzle. I found out that even though i was very very upset over knowing that he took the first girl out... he continued to see other girls behind my back after that. He lied to me that he was meeting a client... would never answer his phone... I just trusted that he was telling me the truth. Now I don't trust him one lick. he wants that above all... but he has not done anything to gain that trust back. I've confronted him with every piece of evidence that i have. he tells me it's all in my head. he tells me that ever pain I feel, i inflicted on myself. If I hadn't been digging then i'd be fine... we went through some really hard times and still learning to cope with it. he continues to chat on line... targeting mostly girls. He has a secret email account that I know girls email him at... these are certain girls who he has an interest in. He tells me they are just friends...to me he's cheating...