CarnelianButterfly

What do you mean? Dating with the friends around or something else?

It is very realistic to think that a girl will be put off by your inexperience.

I don't understand how that is a valid assumption.

If women were put off by men being virgins, then there would be a whole lot of virgins running around. If someone (male or female) is put off by the virginity of the person in question, then the virgin should really consider the quality of the person they are thinking of having sex with.

CarnelianButterfly I think your missing the point of my post.

 

I really just want to discuss the mental processes that go on in a woman's head when she decides how to classify a guy she's met.

 

It's possible that you aren't aware of what thought processes you go through, and in that case I don't expect you to be able to discuss them, but I'm still curious.

I know very well what goes on in my head. I happen to resent men that feel they need to tear into a woman's personal workings because they don't like the fact they are not her choice as a significant other. Why does a woman need to justify each choice of man she comes accross? Why should it be explained? It is her personal and private choices that dictate how she feels. You do obviously do not fit some parameter of her ideals so you are relegated to the friend role. If you don't like it, move on, respect her choices.

You want a process:

I meet a guy

We talk, he's nice, likable and not a bad guy to be around
-> he's now an acquaintance (not a friend)

We hang out more, talk more, I find other redeeming values in him, and might feel I can trust him to a degree
-> he's now a friend (I mention trust because its a big part of friendship, if the person does not show the qualities that I find part of a good person (ie, honest, respectful, considerate) they are not my friends, they will remain acquaintances

More discussion of deeper issues, trust expands, mutual care is felt, all the markers of a good person are there, the guy has the right characteristics (intelligence, modesty, creativity, wit, independence, personal responsibility, and many more), there needs to be chemistry: the very thing that makes us drawn into hours of conversation, desire.
Above all else, care, deep rooted, feel it in your chest care, this is the little spark that becomes the fire of love. Lust is only a small part of the feelings, physical attraction is there, but it is only an iota of all the other emotions involved.

Men that are friends but can't handle that position are pessimistic, they only see what the relationship for what it isn't. They don't see they have a good friend that does care for them, but not in the name of love. They don't respect the fact that someone considers them a friend.

I think she does have the right to know who her children are associating with.

Then her children should tell her who their friends are. She doesn't have the right to demand the names of any other persons children from their parents. If she was such a good mother she'd talk to her children more and find out who they play with.

It is not the responsibility of women to consider the emotions of every man that likes her. We are not obligated to return your affections nor want any other relationship than friendship.

I really don't think guys and girls can ever be just friends.

You say it is not possible for men and women to be friends, I say you're wrong. Its not possible for YOU to be friends with women, but there are many men in this world that don't feel every female that is nice to them is a possible date.

Please write this in ten foot letters and post it every day!

Its tricky, what works on one person can smell bad on another.

Try out a few at the store and walk around with them on, then smell again.

I like most Estee Lauder's scents.

Oh you crazy woman don't know what you want.

And the random guy on the street would know better than we do ourself?

It has nothing to do with her still seeing him as a man, he's not emasculated by her not liking him. She's probably annoyed he doesn't get with the program.

Do you want a conquest or a partner?

I think that I've read far too many posts by men complaining or showing how jilted they are of being friends and nothing more. They get stuck in a situation they don't like, but don't let the girl go and move on to a more fruitful relationship else where.

To follow your analogy, would you only apply at a job that continued to not hire you and told you they wouldn't ever hire you?

My favorite quote: "You're unique, just like everybody else"

I know he's special.

The guys that think that they can wheedle into a relationship via being a friend are not special, they're deluded.

He's lacking the variable that makes him special. Every woman has something that she holds dear to her above all else. I know the man I adore is unique of all the men that I know like me.

you have all the qualifications we are looking for

Obviously if the guy is only a friend he doesn't.

I like lots of guys, I may friend zoned them, but its not my fault or their fault. Just liking someone isn't loving them or wanting to spend a long term relationship with them.

My vibe isn't hidden. I keep my hair brush in a drawer, does that mean I'm hiding it?

Yep, I know several women who have had reductions, and many more who would like them. I sympathize with them because it just can't be easy when they're quite large. Contrary to the male popular opinion, they're not just there for us to admire! Even A cup ladies have no apparent issue breast feeding as my partner can atest to.

A redux wouldn't be bad, I wouldn't have to wear sports bras that feel like corsets (corsets are for fun time not yoga).

You don't need her, you need to start taking care of yourself. Learn to take care of your own stress and learn how to calm yourself without needing another person. Try meditation, or get a massage. You don't need someone else to watch over you and kiss all the hurts better, you need to learn how to pick yourself up.

I have D boobs and I think they get in the way, even laying back they're too up front. I'd rather be closer to my guy than squashing the girls.

Would you really prefer they said to your face:

I'm really not interested.

You're not my type.

Why are you even talking to me?

Its a gentler way of blowing a guy off. If they told it to you like this, guys would be here posting "why are girls so mean?"

Don't look them up and down if they can see you. I've had guys do that and try to come on to me then. Its so unsmooth and sad...

Just be friendly, don't say any stupid pick up lines, make eye contact, maybe buy her a drink. Ask questions and listen to the answer and ask more questions related to the answers.

No way! She doesn't need to know that.

Yeah I had the yeastie beasties and it made a mess, I had the itchy uncomfortable kind after I had been sick and taken antibiotics. Have you been on any medications lately, those can cause yeast infections.

I don't think I'd feel comfortable with my BF frequenting debaucheries. The whole basis sounds off.

You need to weigh the issue:

Parties: you'll have a few nights of fun, but no long term meaning or security in that there is some one that will be there when you need them.

Respecting her wishes: you'll be keeping her happy and may have a chance to be with her for a good relationship, but you are not going to being single and you can't act like you're single, so you need to change.

Go to the doctor!

It sounds like you've got something that need immediate attention.

Does it burn when you go to the rest room?

Maybe it would be a good idea to ask for a copies of all the bills, you could say you'd like to keep better records for yourself. Then you'll see where all the expenses are from and know the amount you need to pay.