CarnelianButterfly

There's always one of you in the crowd, isn't there

 

The situations are completely different as someone like me has no intention with any other woman. As for the OP, his gf's actions with the other guy (which she did have a sexual past with) is far from platonic. It all has to do with intent.

A man being in a room with naked women has no sexual connotation?

You make it all an issue of trust, but why should a woman trust a man with many women when he won't even give her the trust with one man. So what if there is a past, if he expects trust then he should give trust. You can't ask for something you yourself would not give.

Damn Strait

Having trouble passing in a channal or sound?

So a guy should be allowed to hang out with a room full of naked women and she HAS to trust him. But a woman hangs out with one other guy (who’s most likely fully clothed) and you have to take a stand against that. Can we say Double Standard!

Alpha male will get the first look and oppotunity because of what he has and how he acts...

Really, when I look at them I'm revolted....

ANd women do act on emotion while men don't... Not all most...This is a proven fact...

Whose your source, where are they published, what credentials do they have, what was the sample size, what was the sample diversity, what's the distribution, how do you quantify an act as being emotional or logical, how do you separate the total reasoning and causality of an action, what does most mean?

Answer those questions, site your sources, and then I might take your fact seriously, until then; it’s not a fact, its speculation.

Before anyone blames the birth control, read his previous posts. He's been dealing with various forms of disinterest and disrespect from all the way back in October.

 

Situations where another guy involved, psychological game playing from her end. Not good. This has nothing to do with birth control, this is a seriously flawed relationship and you are the one who is in charge of it and has the ability to change things.

He's in charge of it? What is this the 1950's?

Slap her butt and ask her if she's got a cute friend that would like to join you.

I don't really want to "take a side" in this situation, but I do know there are a few things going on with your girlfriend - first that you two are still worried she might be pregnant, and also that she just started birth control.

 

Since you say the change has just been over a few weeks, pregnancy scare + BCP could easily be the cause of some moodiness. Tell her when she hurts your feelings and when you feel she is out of line, encourage communication with respect and affection, and have maybe a little patience to see if this is just a phase.

AGREED!!!

Birth control can do some wicked nasty things with a womans mood. I had to switch my dosage because it was so up and down. You're going to need to be patient and be supportive.

Sometimes its really hard to take "jokes" from someone who is your support structure, its more personal and can feel a lot more directed.

The fact that men find it arousing when they are flopping about, truly and sincerely, boggles my mind.

Not to mention the booby whip lash you get

I've know a few women that get them totally removed for mastectomies and want no reconstruction. One in particular is a seamstress, so clothing is easy to come by, but she is very happy not to have them.

They really do effect movement and the balance. Mine are in the way and with age I can only see them being more so.

I think it is to many 25 year olds. After a couple of kids and cruising through the mid 30s you can begin to understand it more.

 

I have friends who want/have them them, so they can fill out their clothes rather than for a sexual function.

But as you get older the risk of breast cancer is greater and implants make it much much harder to read mammograms. The complications of the surgery are pretty nasty too, I frankly don't want to worry if my nipples will ever regain feeling or if I'll get an infection that eats a hole in my chest.

This is a little depressing for me because I am top heavy and I have been reading more often that my breast size is a turn off to a lot of guys...seriously, TiredMan, how can you expect that large breasts can be truly perky? If they're natural?

 

I wonder if I would be perceived as GROTESQUE to some guys? I've lived with these hooters for years and you just can't know what a burden they are. When I tell other women my problems about clothes fitting properly, vigorous sports activities being out of the question, guys looking at my funbags and not my face, etc, I often get..."Oh, you're so lucky! People pay good money to have their breasts enlarged to your size". It's really not that cool to not have seen your feet for years, as well as all the other probs.

 

I'm just sayin'.

I don't understand the women that buy the water balloons or let someone talk them into getting them. Its just laughable to me.

I think like all aspects of a relationship; communication can improve even the worst situation. You're lover isn't psychic, you have to tell them, express yourself and then listen to them express themselves. Every person will have different likes and dislikes, learning those is part of the fun.

I'm a flaming monogamist, and still would be concerned, if only for her sake. I'm no athlete.

You don't have to do anything

I gave her space for a reason after the breakup.

Yesterday she went from WANTING to see me, to she needs SPACE, to I can't be in your life anymore. What did I do for that to happen? I pushed, pushed and pushed.

These are contradictory. You can't say both. You didn't give her space, until she told you to back off. You went to her place of business with a shady reason for being in the area. You call, email and send her things even after she's said "give me space". That isn't giving them space.

Nor is this.

I am not making any promises that I wouldn't say contact her in a couple of months to check in. It would be her perogative at that point to reciprocate or not. One thing I will not do, is impose myself on her and especially not now.

On the other hand, I have flat out just NOT been attracted to people whom looked like GQ models and had powerful jobs.

GQ guys look like paper dolls to me. They get such and such suit with tie and shirt, but no soul.

Power jobs mean no life beyond the working world. You want to make loads of money, you have to spend loads of time. I'd rather have hours and hours of time alone with my monetarily deficient lover.

You've said in the past that her answers weren't definite and that you needed her to say "never again". She's said it, but you still cling, let go.

Leave her alone.

She has made her feelings know, you are not wanted in her life, at all.

Any contact is disrespecting her choice, ANY, one email, phone call, letter, whatever. She has said she wants nothing of you.

If you don't leave her alone, she has every right to have you kept away by police and court orders.

Luke, there are a lot of people in this world that are NOT driven by sex. Their sole purpose in life is not to screw every thing in sight.

And you're little ladder stuff has no consideration for character.

10 % of attraction on that pie shart is based on things women say they like, but they really dont.

And who wrote this? A man? And how does a man have any clue as to what women think. If you think people are pie charts, you have a lot to learn. Every person doesn't fit into nice neat little boxes with perfect little borders. You can't quantify human emotion, any one who thinks that they can numerically estimate the feelings and degrees, and have it applicable to every one, is completely deluded. The world doesn't work that way, attraction isn't a percentage, how does it add up? What's the units of measure? How is it not just a subjective assignation?

I'd like to see if Carnelianbutterfly, or any woman on here, has a rebuttal for this -- has she had a boyfriend, had sex with, or dated a guy that is counter-intuitive to this whole theory - a weak, girly guy that looks average and is unemployed - and didn't just see him as 'friends only'.

My boyfriend-no job, no huge store of money. He has personality, wit, intelligence, consideration, character, values, and creativity. He doesn't pull the "alpha male" crapola, he's genuine and what you say is weak, isn’t, its called human. Being true to yourself isn’t weak, it isn’t “beta”, its more fulfilling of a life. You don’t live on pretext and some trumped up play acting role of a person. You’re so called alpha males are sad little boys that thump their chest and hope someone notices.

I know my Mom's particular about her stuff and can hoard things, but I think it goes back to the fact that she was very poor growing up and throwing stuff out was throwing money out.

I don't know, I think it depends on the girl. I personally love driving and usually do for anything I do with friends. But I know some women rate a guy on his car, so they would not find you're situation attractive.

Are there any alternatives to car travel? Bus, train, etc? Motorcycles are a good cheap alternative and it can be even more attractive for dating situations.

I just don't want to believe that it's over forever, but that's exactly what she said it would be and not only a relationship, but ANY and all contact, FOREVER. Why so final and why the change of heart in only a day?

Talking on the phone and coming face to face with someone are two very different experiences. You have a degree of separation on the phone, you're safe and in your own space, the only part of the other person with you is their voice. Emotionally it can be trying, but there isn't going to be the physical discomfort of sharing physical space with a person. A phone conversation has only words and intonations, you don't see the body language and have direct eye contact. The phone probably felt safe for her since she knew you couldn't touch her, but put you in the same room and it brings a whole new level of fear.

Typically, they will feel there is a chance for sex down the line or a chance of 'something' down the line via friendship, leading to inevitable frustration.

So you support the exploitation of another’s feelings for the purpose of sex?

Women don't think, women are emotional creatures and they act on their emotions...Asking a woman to tell you what they are thinking when wanting or liking a guy is nearly impossible...

 

Men are thinkers...

I suppose not thinking is how I got my degree in engineering.

Right now I'm thinking there are a lot of men that are trying to make it seem like their feelings getting hurt is due to evil women and their impossible ways.

I can tell you exactly how I feel about every man I know, I don't think it's of interest to go thru the whole list but the guys that will never make it past friend...

• Guy 1
  
• I like his mind and he's fun to be around most of the time; however he is immature and has no sense of when things have been taken too far. He is an adult, but has the functionality of a teenage boy.

[*]Guy 2:

• Sweet, different, lots of common interests, he is however small minded and has made comments that I found to be very much in conflict with things I hold important.

[*]Guy 3:

• Charming, sweet, easy conversations about every thing, but he drinks WAY too much.

[*]Guy 4:

• Likes different activities I like, flirty, above avg intelligence, but he has no creativity, I'm an artist.

Things not on my list: money or looks. I could care less about either. I don't need any one else's money, I'm perfectly capable of supporting myself. And looks, they are fleeting, he maybe cute today, but what will there be if he has an accident tomorrow and is disfigured.

You know I see a lot of blame being placed on the woman for the rejected feelings men that are friend zoned get. You think blaming her will make you more appealing?

And why is it so hard to accept that someone does not want you?

The world doesn't revolve around one person; they are not the only thing that is important.

You're analogy mentions that the man who "gets the job" is an alcoholic or whatever; do you really feel that is valid?

Yep, and he acted like he wanted to date, then acted like I was only a friend. Then I acted like he didn't exist and moved on to other guys.

The quality of the person the virgin is comes to questions before the virginity itself. I wouldn't sleep with any bloke, newbie or not. I would find it increadiably unusual, but also very alluring and interesting. Here is a chance to be someones first time, I'd make it fun for them, answer questions and make sure they felt comfortable.