questionguy

WHOA!!! That is really freaky, sorry, I'm kind of in shock.. I just read your link. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. It's been about a year and a half we've been talking. Actually, I've never worried about her (I mean that in a good way, she's always looks out for herself) - I've worried more about myself and if it's affecting me and my marriage. She seems to have no problem letting me know if she thinks somethings inaproprate. I've actually hinted at feelings of being more than friends to gage her reaction (not nice I know). Strangely enough she keeps things pretty clean...with letting me know she cares..how much, I have no idea. Maybe that's what makes me wonder what's going on. Is it actually that we're just friends now? We talk about things going on in our lives maybe because we know the info isn't going anywhere? My whole reason for starting this thread was because I'm just trying to figure out what she's thinking...maybe how she really feels towards me. I guess I keep thinking there's some hidden motive. Maybe I'm over-analyzing it and we're really just friends.

Thanks - you are absolutely right. This is how these things start out. It been 1.5 years.. There's been no sex talk, little to no complaining about spouses. I'd love to tell my wife I've been emailing.. Several years ago we went to a college reunion. My ex-girlfriend of 7 years was there. We knew she would be there, talked about it before hand, and she was fine with the whole thing. Later that night I ran into my ex. Our relationship ended nicely. No regrets, no hearts broken. We spoke for 20 minuets. When we left the reunion she was furious for weeks. Lowest point EVER in our marriage. I conducted the whole conversation like my wife was right next to me. Nothing inappropriate what so ever. I still get it held over me. I refuse to agree I did anything wrong. So much for that idea....

Some details that may clairify things: She is very social and left her job to be a full time mom a year ago. Although this all started before that. She is a bit of a flirt. My feelings have been she email's me because somethings missing in her life. Her husband working long hours combined with being at home with two kids. She met her husband with in a year of me breaking up with her just after high school. She didn't date anyone else. On the other hand I dated a lot until my late 20's until I met my wife. Thanks you all for comments and reflections. Sitting here, I've had a bit of a realization - I think we find in each other what's missing from our spouses. The reason I asked for comments from women is bacause I really can't figure out what she's thinking. I get the feeling from her that she's keeping me at arm's length sometimes. Then at other times she's the opposite. We really don't talk about the past (since the first couple of weeks) - I think we talk and know more about each other than in high school. Thank you everyone for helping me work through this.

I've remembered all the good times, and there were good times - and there were bad times. I've been making a point to remember them both. She never did give me a really good explaination why she emailed me. But she did say she sat with the email for a couple of days before she hit send. I've also tried to separate her good memories from the other good memories from that time period, 17-20 yrs. of age for me, a great time. I've thought she might be doing the same. When she first emailed me she was 5 months pregnant. Passing that time with my wife, I see how much of a bundle of hormones she is. I asked her if that's why she emailed me. She said no. Strangely enough, I dated another woman for 7 years after this one. I ran into her at at college reunion. We talked for about a half-hour. It was good. I feel no need to email her. Also, I also don't feel like my high school girlfriend was the one I was ment to be with or anything. We just see eye to eye.

Thanks for the replies. Don't worry about harsh - it's what needs to be said. I just can't talk to anyone I know about it. After typing it all out...yup, it needs to end. Thinking about the alternative - the four of us and our kids, sitting around the dinner table or something, no way. Thanks for the clarity.

I'm trying to figure out what's going on here. Here's my situation: A year and a half ago my high school sweetheart emailed me out of the blue. I'm trying to figure out where things are going, good or bad, I'm often confused by the situation. Here's background: We dated for 2-3 years in high school, lost our virginity together. I went off to college, met someone else, broke up with her. She got married, has been for 11 years. I've been married for 6. She has 2 kids 1 & 4, I have one on the way. We have not spoke since I broke up with her (1989?), I'm 35 she's 34. She moved out of the area, but has moved back. Since she emailed me out of the blue we have exchanged emails anywhere from everyday to once a month. The first few weeks were a bit rocky, we were working out things like why I cheated on her, healing old stuff..etc. Next we talked about telling our spouses we were communicating, ultimately, we decided not to. The past year has been talking about kid stuff, since were both going through life with newborns, spouse stuff, and just day-in day-out stuff. It has been nice and we get along quite well and see eye to eye on most things. It's been a nice friendship actually. Don't get me wrong, I am attracted to her, but I can't really see this turning into a affair. Also, her husband has made her a bit of a golf widow, and my wife is a workaholic. In the past months she has turned into a stay at home mom and I own my own business and work from home. When we first started emailing each other we said "this is not anything, nothing more than two old friends catching up" We have not mentioned anything about our relationship since. At this point we have nicknames, and talk pretty frank about most things going on in our lives. She wants to send a gift when my baby arrives, under an alias. I really felt weird about it, but she insisted and I said ok. My question for you all (I'd love to hear from females)- What is this? Why did she email me 15 years later out of nowhere? Where is this leading? It's so stupid, but I feel a bit out of control. Thoughts?