My boyfriend and I have been dating since August and he asked me to be his girlfriend at the end of October. Lately, I’ve been having negative dreams about him (2 of them) and brought it up to him that maybe it reflects how he may be treating me in real life (i.e. cheating). I noticed then he became distant with me after I told him this and we talked about it later that night. He said that he would never hurt me in that way and that my dreams shouldn’t reflect how he would treat me in real life. I instantly became apologetic because I felt bad to accuse him. But lately, he’s been following onlyfans women with provocative pictures, so that may have been triggering me to “accuse” him, since he’s following random women he doesn’t know while he has a girlfriend. I want to bring that up to him, but I don’t want to make it seem like I’m projecting insecurities, but at the same time I want to know why does he need to follow such accounts while being with me?
It came to a point where I had to distant myself from social media and deactivate my account because I felt like I was being too obsessive over who he’s following. His actions and words while we are together are always comforting and he’s never disrespectful to me. I feel like I can have healthy conversations with him and we can talk out our problems. I can tell that he really likes me a lot, but why would he need to seek out other women on social media if he claims I’m the only one for him?
I also deleted my social media to get back into healthy habits like meditation, yoga, and reading more books to get back into a healthy state of mind.
How can I build trust?