Stump

I have been broken up now with my G/f for about 4months and we have dated for 4yrs. Now i know i did things wrong and i know i hurt her but we still talk on the phone atleast once a week. We agreed that when things were great they were like unbeatable but when we had problems, we hit rock bottom. Now sense we have been broken up, shes gone out on dates one was 2weeks after. Like it seems like everyone is trying to hook her up with someone they know, her mom, her cousin and friends. So now shes going out on dates with other guys and im not around to talk to her. I am in FL for the summer and she's in Maine. I am not going home until August and i am afraid when i get home things will be hard because she could be dating someone. Shes told me shes not IN love with me anymore but loves me, this is after her most recent date. Now whats that mean? Does she like this guy she went out on a date with? I ask her if she thinks we can have another shot and she says "no i dont think so" and the tone of voice is mean. She feels thats the only thing to do now is to just go our separate ways. I hurt her because 4 months ago i told her i didnt feel like i was in love with her all the time, and i thought taking the summer to ourselves would make things easier and test our true feelings for one another. But i didnt say that, the words "i dont think im in love with you all the time" devistated her. I want to work things out so bad with her because being away for the summers made me realise how much she means to me and my life. I ROYALLY MESSED UP! However, I went home in June because of the passing of my grandfather and while i was home we saw one another almost everyday, we kissed, fooled around but no sex, and had a good time. Now im back in FL and she acts totally diffrent like she hates how she let her guard down and let me inside and get close to her again, but now she has a totally diffrent outlook. I dont know if im trying to hard and not giving her enough space but it just seems like shes so confused on how she feels. We argue alot to when we are on the phone and of course shes always threatening to hang up on me and then she does. She says im just pushing her away more and more. So i dont know what to do anymore maybe someone else can make sense of this because i cant. I try and give her time and not talk to her and she calls me crying asking why this has to be so hard. So anyway i guess the real question i have is why is it so easy for her to date other guys and i am down here in FL with plenty of choices but i choose to work, come home, and hang out with new friends. I am always thinking about her, is she doing the same? I feel i dont even matter in her life anymore. If i drink i HAVE to call her and when i know shes out with friends she never calls me... why doesnt she want to call me when shes drunk? Thats the best time to really tell someone how you feel because you speak whatevers on your mind, and its always the truth. any advice?

I told her this week why i broke up with her. She had sent me an email on march 16th and i wrote a responce to it and i never sent it. I said "michaela- we are not over, not over by far! this is a new beginning that will show me how much you do care and love me. I know its stupid and i know its just unethical but i feel if you honestly cant live without me then this will show me your commitment. I am going to FL to do my Co-op and i want you to come with me! I feel this is just something that we need to figure out, because you know how i hate devorces and i would never put my children throught what i went through. You went to Germany and slept in the same bed as another guy and chelsea and david and that did kinda hurt me because i know if i had done the same thing we would be done, but i trust you enough and i love you enough that even if you did mess up i would take you back eventually because i truly love you. Dont give up on us and i will always be here for you. I miss you more then ever and dont forget about all our special times, like the cruise, or the mid-night morning kisses, rafting and so many many more. Keep your me close to your heart and love will conquer all! Love always- Scott" Now i dont know what to expect. she wont reply to any email i send her so its hard to really know what shes thinking. I am not the jelouse type nor am i over protective, i encourage her to go out with her friends and all i ask the next day is "did u have fun" and she usually goes on and tells me how the night went. I messed up, and this isnt the first time i messed things up.. and shes no angel herself she broke up with me for another guy before, so this makes me a little concerned because i dont want her dating another guy. I thank you all for the help and i truly need to give her space. I understand.

About 4months ago now i broke up with my girlfriend. I never wanted this break up to be seriouse but i was leaving to do an internship in FL and i wanted her to stay home and have the summer to herself. We have been dating for 3.5yrs and i love her more then words can explain, but sometimes i feel her emotions and feelings are not really into me. So i decided to break things off and let her have this summer to herself. I came down to FL and she has been going out on dates with guys and i told her how i feel about her dating other guys but she tells me its nothing. I understand because i too go out with girl friends out to dinner or whatever. But i feel other people are brain washing her, she thinks we had a horrible relationship and i treated her badly because i put my friends before her on a couple of occasions. I felt badly about it and i tryed to make it up to her, this was about a yr ago. She is also hearing rumors how i did this and that, when i proved to her they were false... i am 22yrs old and these rumors were getting spread by 16yr olds! So now she says to much has been done and to much has been said for us to ever work things out. I ask her if shes IN love with me and she said no, but then she said i do love you. Just two weeks ago she called me and asked "why does this have to be so hard" and i explained to her its because we are not around one another and when we are not together we are not truly happy. I said, if you just follow your heart and let your emotions follow your heart then you cant be wrong, but when your mind is leading your heart then your just being indenial about your feelings. She started to cry and when we hung up we told one another we loved each other. Now a couple weeks later she's telling me how she doesnt think i deserve another chance and that shes not IN love with me anymore but loves me. I am just so confused and lost i dont know what to do.... i found out she lied to me about last weekend when she went out to dinner and a movie with another guy, and i am wondering if this guy is why? I will be home in 21days and i dont know what to expect when i arrive home. I love her and i know deep down if her and i were next to one another something would slip, like a kiss or holding hands... we were so perfect before this.. we broke up a couple times because of stupid things like she broke up with me before for another guy but that didnt last long... she wanted to get married to me in Feb. where did that part of her go? Can she just hide feelings like this? I have made it clear that i want to be with her no matter what it takes and still i have not gotten any responce, so i am just going to give her "space" like i intended to give her to test her true feelings... i guess i really messed up breaking up with her just to test her feelings for me huh? DAMN IT! I hurt her i know, but why cant she come back to me? i guess when i told her i dont feel like im in love with her when we are apart... hummmm.. Well any help would be greatly appreciated. sorry you had to read all that.