mexicanfriend

Thank you ladies... Thank you very very very much... I feel better now... at least the urgency to call him is gone Thanks so much for listening and replying... I hope you guys are doing well, I know how difficult it is... Hang in there, I will do the same. Sense of humor and being strong, I'll keep that in mind Thanks with all my heart. Cheers

WebChick, Thanks! you made me laugh with the most UN-ATTRACTIVE situation I think I will be thinking about that every single time that I think of him lol Unfortunately I cannot use the "getting bald" because that actually is happening and it didn't even matter to me. But i will try to picture on funny situations or embarrasing for him! iamonlyhuman, Unfortunately my stuff is A LOT, and he is using it right now... half the furniture is mine, so it is not that easy he didn't even offer to go to a friend those days, so i could be in peace at the apartment, and now i am the fool staying at a hotel there anyways, i know i'm strong and i can do this, i know... thanks for your encouragement!

Thank you iamonlyhuman... Thanks for your advice, I think i will call my best girlfriend now and just vent... the pillow is a good idea actually Hope you're doing OK too... Thanks again for listening and replying.

Thanks Hope75. Long story short... Dating the bfd for almost 4 years, we were engaged to marry next January, suddendly he told me he doesn't love me anymore, don't wanna be with me... He and I were long distance for the past months (starting on Feb) because of my job. After he gave me non-sense reasons, I asked him to tell me why, he said because he doesn't find me attractive anymore... After sharing 4 years and supposed to be married soon (apartment, furniture, wedding dress) he didn't give me signs, and he broke up by phone. It's been very difficult... I'm sorry to hear that you went through the same. I just dont want to continue like this, but I dont know what to do... I will see him next week that I will pick up my stuff, and honestly i dont want to, i'm not sure if i'm going to break down and start crying I haven't talked to him since saturday and it's been 3 weeks of the breakup, i should be feeling better by now... i was so in love with him... and i think i still am

Thank you Hope75, I don't know... Sometimes i just feel that i miss him a lot and I wanna hear his voice... I just dont understand why he left me, I thought he love me I try to get over this, but it's been so difficult... maybe i've been thinking of him a lot today, i read some of the postings of other people and i felt like it was my situation too... it makes me angry to know that he told me that he is not with someone else now, but i've seen that other ex's have told the same and actually they have you as a back up I'm angry because i won't have a place to live anymore, and that he will be sharing OUR apartment, OUR furniture with someone else... I feel upset with him, because all the planning, all the dreams of a future together, my future as well, are now gone. I feel upset because i know that he is doing excellent and here i am in pain.

Please, I need help, I feel a extremely urgency to break NC... I'm just so upset right now... I feel anger against my EX. I dont wanna see him... I don't understand why he left me.... Please, help me not to break NC

Hi, I really need advice because I don't know what to do, I've tried NC but I break it on the 3rd day... I posted a message a week ago, my bfd broke up with me and we were engaged to marry next January, we were dating for almost 4 years. The main reason is that he doesn't find me attractive anymore, since I've gained some weight, and eventhough that is a shallow reason and I tried everything I could to make it work (quitting my job, commiting to lose weight, begging, etc) he wants to "have fun with friends, meet new people, be on his own" I just don't understand how that happened and he broke up with me by phone, he is in Mexico and I'm in Europe in a work assignment. I'm going to see him next week, since I will go to pick up my stuff from the place that we got and started furnishing to live together after marriage and the day that I will see him it is gonna be exactly 1 month after the breakup... I don't know what I will do when I see him, I've tried so hard to be NC but I can't, I feel bad and ashame of myself because it is so hard and I just ended up calling him and begging, crying and asking why?!! The breakup was so unexpected, 15 days ago the breakup day we went to buy our living room... I really want to move on, but it is so hard, I thought that he was the ONE and after being with him 4 years (first bfd by the way) I just don't know how to keep going with my life. He and his family were hurting my selfesteem telling me I was fat, not attractive, I let myself go, I gained weight, he felt ashame of me, etc... After the broke up I lost already a dress size because I can't eat, I just pick food but cannot eat it... I just can't understand how if he loved me that much to ask me to marry him, how can he leave me because of my looks and despite the fact that I love him and would do anything to make things work, which I told him and his response was so cold like if I was selling something, he just told me "No thanks, I really want to meet new people and have fun with my friends" but I still love you as the wonderful person that you are but don't work for me as a couple. I'm in a lot of pain, I tried to keep a strong appearance, because my family is so worried about me, but the truth is that is really hard... I'm not able to keep the NC for more than 3 days, in Easter he came over to Europe to visit me and we had such a great time, I uploaded the pics on the Internet and sent him the link, he does not even reply to my e-mails or have seen the pics. It is hard to call him but I can't help, everytime that we hang up the last thing he says is "good luck" like if I was a stranger... He told me that there is no one in his life, but he just don't love me anymore, but he wasn't a man enough to tell me looking in my eyes, or to give me a sign that this would happen. The signs that he gave me were indirect (buying workout videos, telling me joking if you don't lose weight that means you don't love me...) and I thought that he loved me for the person that I am not how I looked... I love him so much... Please, help me with your experience on what I can do to maintain the NC or to move on... I know that it is about focusing on myself but it is easy to say than to do. Thank you so much for reading... I just needed to vent.

Thank you all very much for your support and your advice... My ex and I talked last night, trying to agree on moving my stuff out and I ended up asking WHY! again. He gave me more and more excuses that didn't make any sense, I was just trying to understand, because I couldn't and I can't... Each one of the excuses that he gave can be fixed if he would still love me. When I said that despite everything I was willing to work things out, he said "No thanks, I really wanna be on my own, meet new people, go out with my friends, have fun and get back my life" Liasonred I think you are totally right, when you mentioned that the person that I loved does not longer exist... He was so selfish, I asked him if he even cared about me or my feelings, and he said that I'm a wonderful person but I don't work out as a couple... That he is not happy and he is sorry if he didn't prepare me or talked to me about this before, but he really wants to go on without me and meet new people, etc. BTW he gave me more and more excuses, and each time every excuse is different which demonstrates that he really doesn't care about me. Thanks so much for your advice and your words... I feel not alone I never tought that loving the wrong person could hurt so much... But I'm taking your advice Rainz and I'm not going to call him anymore, no matter how I feel or how much I miss him... It is gonna be hard, but I know I can do it and I will think about myself for once, he is not longer part of my present or will be part of my future and there is nothing I can do about it. Thank you so much again for your postings and for helping me out in this difficult time.

Hi, I really need help and advice... My ex-bfd and I were dating for almost 4 years (June 6th would be our 4th anniversary) and we were supposed to get married next January. He was my first and only bfd, the only person I've known and whom I shared a lot of things... I always loved him a lot, never cheated on him or did anything to hurt him... I thought we had good communication, I travel a lot because of my work and we saw each other every other weekend, but he was fully supportive when I took this job and we knew it was only gonna be for a short period (I'm finishing my job commitment this december) 15 days before he broke up with me we went together to buy our living room and we just got our apartment to share and to furnish... I feel like I'm dying, he didn't give any sign, we talked on Sunday and he told me he loved me, and on Monday he said to me that he didn't love me anymore, that he didn't feel anything for me, and that he just saw me as a person... He also said that since I joined this job I gained a lot of weight and he just doesn't find me attractive anymore and he doesn't like me or want to be with me anymore. He broke up with me by phone, eventhough I went to Mexico to visit him the week before and everything seemed normal. I asked him why he never told me anything or gave me any sign... He said he tried to love "the new me" but he couldn't... I was so hurt, I thought he loved me because of me, because for who I am and not what I have or how I look. I e-mailed him to agree on when to pick up my stuff when I get back to mexico (btw I dont have a place to live since I closed my apartment contract when we got the new apartment together)... He never replied my e-mail so I had to call him... and it seems that he was in the car with another girl and he treated me like he didn't even know me... I asked him if there was another person, and to be honest in the name of the 4 years we spent together and he said there is no other girl but he just don't love me anymore. I feel so hurt and so sad, I never thought this would happen ever, I really believed that we were going to grow older together, and have a family and have kids, I didn't start the wedding plans he was the one that wanted to get married with me and that proposed... I offered him to quit my job and go back immediately if the distance was the problem, and he didn't leave any door open, there is nothing to do he said. We never had huge arguments or trouble, I thought we were happy, and I just can't understand how somebody that you loved can stop loving you without telling you and just leave you without caring about your feelings or not having the decency to prepare you emotionally for this, just from one day to another leave you and tell you you're fat and he doesn't love you anymore. I called his family to say goodbay, and his dad told me that he said to him that I was fat and he didn't feel attracted to me, that not even for the wedding I started to lose weight, and he feel ashamed of me... His dad told me to lose weight and try to get him back, but I think I'm a person that has a lot to offer and my true essense is inside is not the exterior, and even if I'm fat or not he has not right to hurt me or my self esteem so badly. I really need advice on what to do, I've tried everything, calling my parents, my friends, doing other stuff, praying... everything, and I just keep crying, not being able to sleep and even have physical pain in my stomach every time I thought of him.... I feel so hurt, I dont know what to do.... I really really loved him and I still do and I dont know how can I get over this feeling and how to stop hurting myself. Please, any word of wisdom and advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.