moksha88

Hi Jade...I'm sorry you're feeling so sad, but the first thing you need to do is stop being nasty to him. That wont get you anywhere, especially back together. I cant even guess what he's feeling, but all I can suggest is if you want him back try being someone he wants to be around. Dont be nasty, or needy. Just be his friend right now and see where that leads.

Thankyou to those who replyed to my post. I have an update, and a new set of emotions. He called me yesterday after breaking up with me last Wed. He told me that he couldnt stop thinking about me and missed me so much, and that he felt guilty for hurting me and for making a mistake breaking up with me. I said my part, apologizing for pushing he and our relationship faster than it was developing...I was pushing him to move in with me, but yesterday he told me it made him feel cornered. I told him that I understand now I should have let him come to me when he was ready. Anyways, he said he wants to see me and talk in person so we decided on tomorrow(Monday) When I asked him if we could have another chance he said we'll talk about it in person on Monday. Firstly, I dont know how to feel...I'm so happy he called and that I got a chance to let him know I shouldnt have pushed etc and understand it should have been when he was ready too, BUT, I dont know how tomorrow will unravel. My mom told me I should be happy he came back within a few days and I'm stupid to worry it wont turn out well. Why would he have called and said those things and asked to see me so we can talk? I'm just so scared and I cant get the breakup and the things he said during our breakup out of my head. When he broke up with me he told me he feels something is missing and just doesnt feel he loves me, and that he was wrong thinking I was the woman in his future. Could those things have been said out of anger and feeling so cornered? Cold feet? It WAS him who asked me to move in in the first place, and up until a few weeks ago he seemed like he wanted it too...until I pushed too hard..I dunno. If we do get back together how can I go back to the way it was remembering those words he said? I'll be going back into a relationship feeling empty..not for him, but because of him. I love him very much and dont want to lose what we have, but I dont know how to go back and trust and feel safe again. What do I do? What should I say to him tomorrow??

I was wondering if anyone here has been dumped by someone and they thought it was permanent only to have the dumper realize they made a horrible mistake and tried to get back together? Does it happen??

It is very hard for me right now not to call him. I just feel that he broke up with me because I pressured him to move in with me, instead of letting him decide and come to me when he was ready to take that step. In his last relationship he told her that he loved her after a year and a half, and they moved in together at that point. I think that for him he is wondering inside why at this point he cant move in with me when he could her. We are right around a year and a half too, and I think yesterday when I forced him to look at the apartment with me and then got angry at him when he said "so what if I dont move in with you, what then"...I think it freaked him out and the pressure was way too much. The difference between our relationship and his last relationship is that they had the whole year and a half to grow together..we have really only had 8 months. Even though I was his girlfriend, up until last October he was very busy, preoccupied, and not emotionally available. It was only since October that we could truly be "together". I dont feel we had enough time to really reach the point he feels he should be at right now. The breakup I truly believe was a spontaneous one and I think in his mind he was thinking I had him under a kind of ultimatum of sorts, and that since he wasnt able to take that step with me, he needed to break up with me. He also stated that he has been wondering why he hasnt been able to tell me he loves me yet and that he concluded it was because something was missing for him...love. Up until yesterday even though he hasnt said it yet I could have sworn by our time together and his actions that he did. I dont know if his heart has been mislead by my pressuring him and thinking he had no other way out of moving in with me but to break up. I am so desperately devastated and lost. I am also beating myself up over the guilt I feel in all that I could have done differently. I truly feel that if I hadnt pressured him when he first mentioned moving in with me and let him come to me about it when he was ready that we would still be together. And I truly believe that if I hadnt had my moments of insecurity with him during our relationship and hadnt let us both take our stresses from outside our relationship out on each other and nurtured more of a life outside of him that he would love me. When he dropped me off yesterday and hugged me goodbye I told him I felt he was making a big mistake...he said maybe. Did he only say that as a natural response or because he really meant it? He also said as he was leaving that he would call me this weekend and we would take my dog for a walk...why?? Did he mean it or was it his way of softening the blow of parting ways?? What if he never comes back?? How do I let go of something I still believe in and want? How do I get past all of the memory triggers everywhere I turn? I cant sleep because the minute I start to fall asleep he will pass through my mind in one way or another and I cant breathe and a shockwave passes through my body. I have never been so heartbroken, lost, or scared

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, but our relationship didnt really start until last October because up until then we couldnt spend much time together. In October he moved into a new place and since then I have been there with him almost every night and we grew very very close. I realized I loved him for sure a few months ago but he never said it to me. I believed he did by his actions...he was very sweet and affectionate and said he saw me in his future even up until a few days ago. In February he said that when he moves into a new place it will be with me, but since then I pressured him about it and talked him into moving in June. He has seemed very withdrawn about the subject and yesterday I got angry at him for it and he said that he doesnt want to move in with me and that he thinks at this point if you cant see yourself living with someone you shouldnt be with them. He also said that something was missing and that he just doesnt love me like I do him. I am so heartbroken and dont know what to do with myself. There were signs he wasnt ready to move in, but absolutely none that he wanted to break up. His mannerisms and affection towards me hadn't changed at all and I fear that pushing him so hard and trying to mold the relationship into something more too soon may have made him feel the way he does. After we picked up my stuff from his place and he was driving me home he said that I am the perfect woman and have all of the qualities that he wants, and that we had a really good relationship...I dont understand. I was very good to him...I didnt nag, didnt cheat, and I was always there for him when he needed me. We have so much in common....Why?? Is it possible that I pushed him away? When he dropped me off and we said our goodbyes I told him that he was making a mistake and he said maybe. I also asked him if he'll regret it and if there was any hope to which he said maybe but he wont know how he'll feel until it's happening. Some of what he said made it sound final and permanent, and some made it sound as if he may change his mind if he finds he misses me too much and did make a mistake. I should also say that right now he is in a bit of a rut financially and is lacking motivation to better his life, and that my dad is very ill and I havent been 100% either. Can lifes stresses and pressure to move in with someone when you're not ready lead you to believe something is mssing? Do you think he'll be back?? How do I feel better? I cant stop crying even though I'm still in denial...I just didnt see it coming...I really believed that he loved me..we were closer than ever even 3 nights ago PS When he dropped me off after breaking up with me he said that he'll call me this weekend to take my dog for a walk...why??