tarheelfan

I have a SOMEHWAT similar story... maybe it will help. My ex ADORES her parents and treats them like gold. I think that is WONDERFUL. But... her father has become ill and needs a lot of care. That allowed very LITTLE time for me. I TRULY did not mind... but I didn't fit into the equation. It was family, work, school, more family and then I fit in somewhere down the list. Anytime spent with me was time she COULD have been with her Dad and she felt guilty. She started basically ignoring me because she was exhausted and THAT'S what angered me and triggered an argument that lead to the end. Now, when her father dies (and I pray not anytime soon) if I had been around she would have blamed me for taking away precious time with her Dad. Now she's got all the time she wants.

Thanks so much to you BOTH for your answers. I DID need to do that for myself... and I need her to know I care. I never used the word love or got teary. I am still at that stage where I need to hear what I WANT to hear... but I DO thank you both. What a trip.

I see where a lot of people told the person that left them NOT to call write etc. Well... perhaps I did the worst thing possible. GOD I hate second guessing myself. We haven't spoken in 2 weeks... so me being the sap that I am... I called and left a VERY nice, non-emotional message that said "Thanks so much for being a part of my life and for all you did for me. I hope we can someday be friends... blah blah... and then I ended it by saying.... if you EVER need anything I am here for and all you have to do is call." Stupid?

RK, I just want to THANK you immensely for posting this. I am actually the opposite of you (in your girlfriends shoes) and have NO IDEA why my relaitonship ended. It has only been 2 weeks. I am a wreck and can't get anything done... I called her and left her a VERY nice but NOT emotional voicemail and of course heard nothing back. I know in my heart she is gone... but reading all of this helps me a GREAT deal and gives me a comfort I have not yet had. So... thank you.