Hambo

hi thanks for the replies... Yes i posted about this girl before a LONG time ago now...between then and now i've gone for 2-3 months wthout seeing her, and have very casually dated other women. But its all come back to her again now! link removed That's the old post...puts an interesting spin on things, because before she seemed to react negatively to my (albeit indirect) approaches.

well firstly its not a LDR - i just don't see her much because whilst we have mutual friends, we also have our own separate group of friends who we socialise with most of the time - so we generally are into different social scenes. Secondly, whilst half of me realises she MUST be interested, the other half is telling me maybe she just loves the attention that she gets from me.

Ok so i posted about this girl a few months ago. We've always got on incredibly well - lots of teasing, laughing, innocent touching, etc. i only see her every few months really, but in the last few months have seen her several times. The first time i bumped into her randomly. Was talking to her flatmate (who i have never met before) and her, and her flatmate said suddenly "sorry i dont even know your name.....ooooh are YOU John?" Never met her before, and she knew my name, suggesting i'd cropped up in conversation?! Second time i got into the pub, and the girl saw me and came running over and gave me a massive hug and kiss on the cheek again, and then kept her arms around me and was talking to me (and i obviously did the same) so we were kinda right up close talking to each other. The i went to get a drink and carried on talking with my friends...i glanced up and she was staring RIGHT at me....she saw me looking up, came running over again, and grabbed my hand and put her other arm round me again and started chatting. I didnt want to make a move that early in the night (she had been there a while) so i just got close and chatted again. 20 minutes later, and i glanced up again and she was looking right at me again...this time shouting for me to go meet her friends. So i was still playing it pretty relaxed as i hadn't been there that long. Some other guy was paying her a lot of attention, she was pushing him away most of the time. Then she disappeared, and later on she reappears, and had got together with the guy ?!??!? Someone suggested that i had not been obvious enough and so she had figured i wasn't interested. Fast forward to the weekend just gone, and pretty much the same stuff happens - she sees me, gives me a massive hug and a kiss, and then we stand there with our arms round each other and leaning right in whilst we talk....only now i have it on good authority that she is seeing how things go with the guy from the previous week, so i can't make any move. I KNOW there is a great feeling between us, and i'm sure she must feel it too, but i can't figure out if she just feels it as friends (even though we hardly ever see each other)... I've also seen her other male friends turn up and say hello to her and there is NONE of the hugging / kissing when they say hello....and none of the leaning right in / touching stuff when they talk! Anyone got ANY idea what might be going on, or been in the same situation? I am so confused about it!!

Oh yeah i am kinda doing that anyway - i always keep my eye out for others, and will be quite happy to stay open to other people. Its just that it's been a while since i 'clicked' with anyone like i do with her (regardless of whether there is any interest there). People say to play them at their own game, but i know this is not a great idea - she already made it clear that she doesn't like the idea of a playa!! PLus, as i said before, she isn't a playa anyway!! She just gets a lot of attention from guys cos she's attractive!! Its like one of my other friends said - maybe she already had the date organised before i asked her?!? They also pointed out that she was very quick to make out that the she was really unsure about the date she had organised - she could have just said "i've got a date", but instead she makes out like its only sort of a date and she really isn't sure about it at all. I know, i know - i'm over analysing!

Thanks for your comments guys. The thing is, i KNOW this girl is not a playa. I also know that she hates the idea of guys who are playas. However, i am also sensible enough to know you are probably right, and this is not going anywhere. Just a pity i pick up all the right signs from her in terms of body language and all that stuff. And i still can't get past the phone thing - i've asked so many of my female friends, and they've ALL said there is no way they would pick up a guys phone and put a their number in unless they were interested in him. That is the one sticking point in all this as far as i'm concerned!!

by date she meant a date with another guy - here in England, that is generally what 'date' means, tho i've been told that other countries, it can be a date with pretty much anyone!!! We've exchanged a few more messages since i posted, but nothing more that i can really read anything from!! Doh! Hoping to see her again soon, when maybe i can try and read her body language again and see if i can get anything from that!

Hey i think this whole thing kinda depends on how well you knew her before you gave her your number and stuff - would she def have known who you are? Ydas - do women really get scared off if they think you're a player? Reason i ask this is: link removed Someone i'm really interested in (and someone i was sure reciprocated that interest) has got it into her head that i'm a player, and i can't figure out if this is what is holding her back, or whether she just isn't interested!!

See this is the thing...if she already had this date planned, then its fair enough that she still goes on it!! I mean you only have to read around these forums to see that plenty of people go on various dates with different people before they decide which one they like!! I just can't make out how much to read into the various things she says - i mean half the time it is so positive and obvious, and other things make me think i'm being given the brush off!!! Guess i should wait and see what happens over the next few days, and next time i see her!! I am also an old friend of one of her friends (someone she works with)...this is the person who introduced us...so i could ask her, but maybe i'd do better just being patient!

Hi everyone!! I'm new here, but i really need some advice!! I've known this girl for a while...we get on really really well, and there is a lot of chemistry between us (lots of teasing, lots of eye contact, lots of laughing at each others jokes, and the odd bit of innocent brushing together of hands and arms). There are plenty of signs of interest. The other day i needed reminding about something, and looked to the people who already had my number, but instead she grabbed my phone and put her number in, rang her phone, and said "i'll remind you". So fast forward to last night, and i decided to text her...we had a cool little SMS chat, and plenty of teasing in our texts...her replies all pretty much immediate apart from one...see below!! Some of the convo..cut down a bit to save space!! (FYI, she calls me a playa because one of our friends thought i was a playa...even tho i am NOT, so she said "thats my nickname for you now"): ---------------------------------------------- her - "Hey Playa!!!... ...so how is work?" Me - "Work is dull...im looking forward to having a drink already...you about this week?" Her - "yeah although going away at the weekend possibly...XXX has some news!!" Me - "oh ok...So when are you gonna make yourself available for a drink then? You can tell me the news!!" Her - "Whenever!!!...and its not my news to tell !!" Me - "ok you fancy drinks on Wendesday then and you can tell me the news anyway ---45 minute pause--- Her - "sorry hun, was on the phone!!...Possibly already have a kinda date on Wednesday but not too sure. And yes i'm evil and won't tell you the news" Me - "well aren't you little miss popular!! And you call ME a playa!!" Her - "Hardly!! a 'possibly date' doesn't make me a playa PLAYA!!! Me - "ok well some other time maybe!! See you soon no doubt!" Her - "If he doesn't happen on Wednesday i'll let you know!!" ---------------------- Now i have no idea - so many good signals, but then her texts sound more negative - like she is making excuses!! But then someone said to me that if she didn't want to go out at all, she'd have just said 'no' full stop - rather than leaving any room for possibilities!! We have a great time when we see each other, and we definitely get on better than her and anyone else in our group! Even better than her and some of her longer term friends (iv not known her that long!) So anyone got any advice? I'm lost!! Maybe she isn't interested after all, or maybe she is playing hard to get!! Any thoughts would be welcome!!