My husband and I are both 24, and have been together over 6 years now, married for almost 3 of them. We have two gorgeous children; who I love dearly. The thing is that although I know I love my husband with all my heart, I don't know if I am actually still in-love with him, or have ever truly been in love with him. When we got together I didn't really expect it to last long; but we got on really well and I love spending time iwth him. At the time, I was in love with someone else, but that wasn't destined to work, so put it out of my mind, and moved on. We were kinda a whirlwind romance, and because I was moving out of the parental home in to my own flat he moved in with me. We found out we were expecting a baby few months in to our relationship, but sadly I miscarried, and I longed for another baby, and we decided to try for a baby, and then marrage seemed a natural progression, and then so did having a nother child. We do argue, all couples do; so I know that we're no different; but we have always stayed really close to eachother, and when he phones duirng the day we tell eachother we love eachother...but, I am starting to think that perhaps for me our relationship has just got in to this routine, and that although I love him, I'm not in-love with him. I have kissed others behind his back, and have confessed about it, and he's forgivven me, and I felt so guilty about it, as I know he loves me dearly. I just feel so trapped, and want some time apart from him; to work out exactly what I want, and what is best for us all. but I know that his family would get involved straight away, and cause problems. I sometimes think that perhaps because I had some problems when we got together when still living at the parental home I clung on to him, so that I wasn't alone; and then when we had the miscarriage it seemed to hold us together.
I truly don't know what to do anymore; I don't want to hurt my family; but is it worth livig a lie, or should I ask for some space, and then see how things go and see if being together is what I really want.
