I'm new to this entire help process so please bear with me. I'm married, 14 years, 3 children 10,7,3 all boys and I'm working on getting up my guts to file for divorce. Background info: Husband had affair 2 years ago that I found out about from my sister-in-law, I had suspected others but didn't really want to go there. Stayed to try to work it out, I guess that was my first mistake. He proceeded to steal the keys to my office, break in, get on my computer to "get" something on me. Unfortunately, I had been emailing to an old co-worker ( 3 states away) who is male. I'm not sure why other than it was a safe way to flirt and feel better about myself as he was payingattention to apparently 2 other women during this time. But I realize that is NO EXCUSE. I didn't find out about this until I found the keys in his briefcase over 1 year later, so I actually don't know how often he was at my work. He took to following me whenever I went out with friends he didn't "approve" of, i.e. he wasn't invited. He accused me of having an affair with a friend of both of ours and called his wife while we were at conference with his accusations, she called her husband and myself and relaying the entire conversation, this was in May. She of course believed and trusted us, because we are all simply great friends. The topper of all this is he lost his job in September, I had to hear about it from somebody I don't even know, they asked "So where is R going now that he isn't at his job any longer?" I didn't even know there were porblems on his job. I might want to mention here he has had 10 jobs in the 14 years we've been married and part of his excuse for the affair was I worked too much and my job came before him. I feel like somebody has to put food on the table. In his job change he took a pay cut, forced me to put us on my insurance ( another $400 pay cut) he travels now, and I never know when he will be gone or where he is going. I moved out of the bedroom in September and have no urge to go back. He keeps saying he is changing, even if I can't see it. I don't want to raise my children on my own, but I don't think I can continue like this. I've asked hime to leave 4 times and he won't go. I hate to uproot my children but I also don't want things to get ugly. Any suggerstions would be appreciated.
