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Everything posted by bbogdanov
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How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
I am grateful to you all for the opinions! I am going on a weekend trip out of town and I will try to respond to everyone when I get back. I am just overwhelmed with so many opinions (I didn't expect it) and I will need a little bit of time to reply to everyone and provide additional information for clarifying thing. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
She does most of the food. We decided to live together because we both wanted it. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
We rented the place. I do everything around the house. Cooking - rarely. I don't insult her cooking, I just don't lie if she asks me if I like it or not. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
I feel like walking on eggshells when I eat her meal because if I don't like it and she asks me - I can't lie. Or if she sees me eating something else she'd know that I don't like her meal. I have to be cautious. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
In that particular case she said that she got angry because of her thinking about me and leaving the meal for me while I didn't appreciate it. She was mad that she'd put me before herself. I don't know if that's the main issue? -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
In that particular case she said that she got angry because of her thinking about me and leaving the meal for me while I didn't appreciate it. She was mad that she'd put me before herself. I don't know if that's the deeper meaning? -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
I don't like to throw food away but equally I don't like eating food I don't enjoy. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
I don't want to say anything like a kid, I just want to be able to eat (in that particular case) whatever I like without it being a problem. I am not looking for an argument at all, I never explicitly tell her that I don't like her cooking. If I don't like it, I just eat something else. I am not purposefully insulting her that her dish is not good. And I do tolerate badly prepared meal (in fact it isn't badly prepared at all, it's just up to personal taste) and I don't make a problem out of it. I just eat something else without complaining. I got to the point that I now fear her asking me how I find the meal or seeing me eat something else, I don't want to insult her that way, let alone explicitly telling her the meal is bad (like your point here). -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
It's not abusive but I find it insulting. It attacks my personality and feels bad. It is just a food to me and I'd like to be able to eat whatever I want freely without thinking about the consequences. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
I tried to state my opinion that she's got anger issues and she agrees to a certain degree. If we don't live together, though, what would we do? -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
That's my opinion too - people are their true selves when they are emotional and pour out what they really think. That's why I am sad when such things happen... I don't necessarily have to have what I want. If I want something I will try to get it but it isn't a fixed idea. I did tell her that I don't like how she argues and it is not the first time, I am honest and don't hide my opinion. But it still happens and she admits it is some flaw of hers but nothing comes out of it. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
We are living together for almost an year now, what would we do if we didn't live together? I didn't say it was a heart breaking to be called names but it isn't the first time I hear unpleasant words and I find it unfair. That's why I am asking here for advice, I can't control my emotions and I feel terrible after such a fight. -
How to deal with 'insults' from girlfriend
bbogdanov replied to bbogdanov's topic in Relationship Advice
I really wanted to have that dish because I had eaten the same food the previous evening but I didn't find it tasty the 2nd time, it wasn't on purpose. I will take a note. -
I've been in a relationship with my gf for an year now (we live together) and there were several occasions when we had a fight over some petty (from my point of view, though) things which got her really pissed off and angry. She is really raging in such moments and tends to act a little bit over the top (my opinion, again). The latest situation: we discussed the dinner and there was a serving for one person left from the previous evening so I asked her if I could have it and she could eat something different (I am selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to food). I ate a little bit but didn't really enjoy it this time (didn't find it tasty at that moment) so I got myself something else from the fridge. She got mad that I didn't eat it because she'd made a sacrifice and had left it for me when she could had eaten it. She angrily called me "a pampered boy" and a person that "was being spoiled" through most of his life and left the kitchen. I felt terrible and insulted and wanted to distance myself (I need alone time in such moments, that's my way of dealing with pain) which leads to a vicious cycle because she hates distancing and gets even angrier. There were couple of times in the past when I didn't like some of her dishes, for example, or other things which got us into a fight and she has this habit of bursting out almost incontrollably and sometimes uses insulting words (there was once a case where she called me "idiot", I don't remember the exact reason). I feel awful for couple of days when such things happen. We are greatly damaging the relationship this way (at least that's what I am feeling) to the point that I outright offered her to leave. I struggle to find my way back to her after such arguments because I feel really insulted by words. She really apologizes usually but it's like I am seeing two different persons - the ordinary one and the angry one. Am I exaggerating things and how can I cope with my feelings of hurt so we can enjoy our relationship? Am I being too dramatic and how can I be more thick-skinned? Thank you!
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I almost forgot about this topic. I am close to 6 months of NC now Feeling great
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27th day - a record for me
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I set a new record today it's day 22 for me
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I would not reply, although I know it's hard (I've given up many times)
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Not at all, she've "seen" it but did not reply anything. I poured my heart over her, but... Honestly, I don't expect anything, I know she doesn't love me and I don't expect something different. I just needed to tell her I love her (for the millionth time in the past 3 months )
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Day 20 - I BROKE NC messaging my ex-gf I love her i cried and felt so depressed, I am complete mess...
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I think it is normal - I also sometimes wish my ex contact me but I don't think it will ever happen and I don't think there is a point in it either? Maybe it's just a "natural" thought to have, but I get it more and more rarely as the time passes by.
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I was thinking the same thing! I am not missing my ex so much but the things you mentioned - companionship, having a partner, sex... I now even hardly imagine how she looked like.
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Well, what to do then? Cant' do NC, can't embarass her with texting, calling... I have no options
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I know that NC is really for you, to take time and heal yourself, but as there are some exes that also get influenced by NC from the dumpee, I was wondering - what if you had been ignoring your ex prior to the breakup? If there was some kind of NC while you were together? Is there some logic that you reach to your ex at some point?
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Although I stopped all contact and blocked her from everywhere, I ordered a delivery of flowers for tomorrow at her workplace (anonymosly of course) :stupid:
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