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I would do nothing cos in your head there will be always something to say or get accross while you are feeling like this, if you must, mail her back and SIMPLY let her know that you are not angry with her and thank her for respecting that you need time to get over her and that in time, one day you can be friends again. You are very very wise to do no contact cos your emotions will be all over the place for a while, it is the only way. She will be in pain and she will care but won't and can't feel the pain you are going through, it's your pain, I know you want her to share it and help, but don't try and make her understand, it will turn to guilt then anger etc. It really sounds like you are doing things right in a crap situation, hang in there.

Please help !! First post, thank you in advance for reading. No contact is impossible so I don't think I will ever be able to heal, what do I do ? My ex left me 8 months ago having told me on Xmas day that she didn't love me anymore. Listening to my ex, what did I do right ? I was desperate not to loose my family so I took everything she levelled at me on the chin and threw nothing back, other than to ask why she had not mentioned all this before. some stuff from years ago and nothing major, she said she had built up a resentment against me and I had no idea, She claims she did mention stuff and I do remember wee moans here and there about help with the housework and more cuddles might not go a miss but never "We Have A Problem" or "I am not happy" She would always look for assurance that I would never leave her, which I always gave plenty of, with hindsight I should have seen this as a warning that things were not right. She was telling her friend she was really unhappy but not me ? I wish I had been listening more carefully, and reading between the lines. Up until 3 months before we split she was a full time student and I worked full time and supported us for years, she got a job working in a hostel, it was very stressful and things changed rapidly. She says she never had any confidence before and her job has given her that. The world seems to revolve around this job, but telling her this just made things worse. I had sold up and moved country 3 years ago to be with her and our son so xmas day was hard on my own. She changed her mind twice over the next 3 months and made promises to come back. I was strong when it first happened and asked her not to dangle me and she promised she would never do that to me but watched me struggle with life for three months and then she let me go, I fell apart. I was a big big mess, very lonely with no friends to spend time with, we used to spend every night together. She blames me for everything and I blame myself for everything, I wish I had been more this or done that .......it's hard to stop, even though my friends think this may always have happened if she had confidence and esteem issues. I kept in touch daily with all of my family on the phone during these three months and told them that I thought I was at fault, my family thought the world of her but thought I was being too hard on myself and they think if someone can treat me the way she did during those three months I am best off without them. They also think I was big enough to admit to where I had gone wrong and did everything i could to work it out. I trust my family but I wish I could see this too. She has moved on with her life and doesn't seem to care about what happens to me, I gave up everything to be with her and my son and now she treats me like a baby sitter. It has affected every part of my life, I miss my family life and my son like nothing else but lonlyness has had me decide to return to my home country where I am lucky to have family and good friends. Somehow i'll find my feet. I intend to fly my son to see me once a month or more if finances allow. When I was down, and was a mess she seemed to be up, now that I am pretending to be ok with things (no longer talking about us, just our son) she seems to be angry and irational and goes on about how hard it is to juggle her life around our son. I still love her so very much, I have stopped telling her this though and don't really now how do be when I am talking to her, I told her all my innermost fears for the future, I WISH EVERY DAY I HADN' T but I did, She has made it clear that she doesnt want me back, I can't do NC and feel pretty stuffed. Any advice on this would be great.