NLEGGINS

Everyone just keeps saying that you just know but its really not the case because I just dont know. I know that I love him with all my heart but I do not know if I am actually IN LOVE with him. I care about what happens to him. I want the best for him and I want him to be happy. I know that you can't tell me whether or not I love him but I need some help figuring it out. I mean, is there something I should do, a certain way I should feel in certain situations? I dont know. I know that I was at one time but I dont know if I am anymore. I guess I just cant tell the difference of loving him and being in love with him. I dont want to continue on with things if I am eventually going to learn that I am not in love with him. I miss him very much right now and I am still very attracted to him sexually. I just dont know. Is there something I can do? A certain way I should feel in certain situations? HELP ME.

My boyfriend and i have been together for almost five years now. He broke up with me about a year ago and it hurt me more than anything ever has in my entire life. I cannot even express the pain i felt going through that. I was very insecure but we got back together. While we were broke up he quit his job and has not had one since we got back together. He has been actively looking but he has not been successful. He has not been very happy because of it and never wants to have any fun. He never has any money so he never wants to go anywhere or do anything. He is taking care of his grandma as well and he has to be at home a lot. I am not that kind of person what so ever and i have to be out and about so he has not been any fun to be around. I also felt like he was just being such a loser because he is living with his grandma and his sister and he is almost 25 years old. A person's life should not be that far behind is how i look at it i guess. So i broke up with him. I was tired of him not going anywhere in life because i am doing something with mine. I never wanted to be around him because i did not have fun. Now we are broke up and it has been a couple weeks. We have not talked as much but now when i am around him things feel like they are getting better. He is gonna go back to school and is trying to get a job. I feel better being around him and i have missed him when i am not with him but i don't know how to tell if i love him or if i am just used to being with him . I don't know if i love the fact that he is there or i love him. I know that i love him but i don't know if i am in love with him. How do i know? I don't want to work things out with him if i am not in love with him. How do i figure that out?

WHATEVER YOU DO, DONT TRY TO MAKE HER CHOOSE BETWEEN HER FRIENDS AND YOU. SHE MIGHT DO IT BUT SHE WOULD RESENT YOU IF YOU MADE HER STOP HANGIN OUT WITH "D" TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. PLUS, IF THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON THEN IT IS NO DIFFERENT THAN HER HAVING FUN WITH HER GIRL FRIENDS, ONLY HER FRIENDS ARE GUYS. I AM THE SAME WAY, I HANG OUT WITH A LOT OF GUYS AND MY BOYFRIEND TOLD ME THAT HE DID NOT WANT ME HANGIN WITH ONE GUY IN PARTICULAR AND I TOLD HIM TO KISS MY BUTT BASICALLY. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR FOUR AND A HALF YEARS AND I AM NOT ABOUT TO GIVE UP A FRIEND FOR HIM. IT IS SIMPLY NOT FAIR. TRUST HER. ASK HER WHY YOU DONT GET TO HANG OUT WITH "D" WITH HER. IF YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH HANING WITH THIS "D" KID, THEN YOU GUYS COULD HANG OUT WITH HIM TOGETHER. IF THATS NOT AN OPTION AND SHE NEVER INVITES YOU THEN THERE MAY BE SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT. MAYBE SHE IS NOT HAPPY WITH YOU AND DOES NOT WANT TO BE AROUND YOU VERY MUCH AND THIS GUY FRIEND OF HERS COMFORTS HER. I DONT KNOW. JUST TRYING TO HELP. HOPE IT DOES.