Scot_babe

Having a bit of trouble figuring out the guy i like... He came up to me in our local nightclub and introduced himself to me, I didn't recognise him but he said he saw me everyone morning going to my work and I always put a smile on his face. Turned out we live really near each other, we were chatting all night and he kept saying things like how gorgeous I was and how he couldnt believe I was stood there talking to him! I really started to like him and we met up a couple of times after that on nights out, he explained he'd come out of a long term relationship and didnt want a girlfriend but really liked me. Because of his lack of any commitment etc I never took things further than kissing with him, despite him trying. One night we were out and I was a bit tipsy on the dance floor,my friend was in the same club and got talking to him. I found out the next day he was telling her how much he like me but that I was "too nice" for him. After that night I didnt hear from him for a while and next thing I knew he was going out with someone else. I'm 22, he's 25 and shes 40! I just do not understand this. He didn't want a girlfriend yet he is now with someone who chances are is wanting to settle down. Bumped into the pair of them at a bar the other night when I was with my friends. I gave a brief "hi" then got on with enjoying my night but my friend had her eye on them and said he didnt stop staring at me all night. One of his friends also recently told me that he talks about me a lot. What's going on!?!

Thanks I will have a look at that site now. Sorry to hear what you have been through xx

Thanks for all your advice, after my abduction I was referred to a therapist through the police etc. however at this time I wasn't too deeply affected by what happened, I was just glad I was safe and wanted to forget it had ever happened. Its only in the last few years that it's become an issue again. I live in the UK and am not sure about the cost of therapy but I am going to look into it because this problem doesnt seem to be going away

I am a 22 year old woman and a virgin. This isnt really through choice. I was over weight all through my childhood and teens which left me with no confidence. I also had a violent relationship with my dad who was an alcoholic and later killed himself and was also abducted 5 years ago by a stranger (male) who tied me up and taunted me with threats of rape, although this never actually took place. I think bad experiences with men in my life - my dad and my attacker etc - left me terrifed of getting close to any man. I lost a lot of weight 2 years ago, my confidence soared and I do get attention from men but something always holds me back. I guess a fear of intimacy or something. I would love to be in a healthy happy relationship and have kids one day but the whole prospect of it seems something that I could never do. None of my friends know I am a virgin and I could never tell them now as I have lied all this time. I also don't know how I could tell any man. Any advice on how I could get over this fear of trust/intimacy would be greatly appreciated as it is really getting me down. Thanks