boltnrun

It was actually a pickup order. Delivery appointments are about 10 days out. Very nice young lady loaded my bags into my hatchback. I would have felt better if she had gloves on as well as a mask. But I am now bringing the bags inside, setting them down on a designated spot on my kitchen counter, wiping them down, putting frozen and perishablein the freezer or fridge and letting the pantry items sit on the "clean" part of the counter until the bleach cleaner dries.

I do wonder if I'm taking a chance of ingesting a bit of bleach, but I rinse off before I use.

Couldn't ship the keys. Post office location I went to doesn't ship or mail out (what???), Fed Ex was closed and the UPS store had a 10 person line outside. Neighborhood was not the greatest so I will have to take care of that tomorrow, or if I'm feeling brave, later today. Which would involve a second shower and shampoo.

I know I'm weird. Always have been. Not sure if that's because of what happened when I was a child or what, but there it is.

Today is overcast and drizzly.

Hope you all are having a decent day.

Grocery store notified me that they cannot fulfill 4 of the most vItal items I needed. Of course they didn't let me know until this morning when it's too late to cancel the order. Now I will have to end up going inside a different store to get those things.

I can't face doing that today since I already have to go into a different store to send back the keys to my old house. So I decided I will go tomorrow or Friday. Of course I got almost no sleep due to anxiety over having to go into that store.

Go to shipping store, pick up my half order of groceries, go home, wipe groceries, shower and shampoo and then maybe a nap if I can relax enough.

My brain knows the likelihood of catching it from a can of soup from the grocery store, from something placed on the sidewalk and then brought inside, from the car door handle, from the communal doorknob on the stairway door (that only 3 people use), etc., etc., is extremely small. But I'm the person who has a meltdown when my pants leg or sleeve brushes up against something I didn't disinfect or the railing on the back stairs.

Your attitude is much healthier. I am hoping to get there.

Sorry your son decided not to go. Wishing you a quick, safe trip.

When my son and I did the cat exchange we just both wore masks and gloves. Can you do that rather than dropping stuff on the ground? I just have this extreme paranoia about things touching the ground but maybe you have a better attitude toward it than I do!

So I decided to do grocery pickup again. It eliminates two things, having to go into the store and possibly be around lots of people AND having to disinfect my car, AND feeling like I need to strip down when I get home, then jump immediately into the shower to wash and shampoo. I have been spending a fortune on grocery pickups and Amazon orders, but I do appreciate that I am extremely fortunate to be able to do so.

I moved my car today, it was parked about 4' into a red zone. This city is very much about parking enforcement so I wanted to get it out of that red zone. Scored a spot right in front. Someone in a minivan had also seen that the spot was open and was in the process of making a U-turn to grab it, but I was able to just back my car up and get the spot. Around here a close spot is like winning the Lotto. Not sure where minivan person ended up, probably a couple of blocks away.

I suppose I'll have to contact work to give them a timeframe update. I can't just vanish off the planet! I told my previous landlord that I'd send the keys today but I don't want to give up my primo parking spot. So I will send them tomorrow when I go out to pick up the groceries.

I did put wipes on my order, here's hoping they actually have them in stock and I get them! Fingers crossed!

That's good news. (@seraphim)

My city has been holding steady. Not declining but not increasing either. People walking outside are about 50/50 mask/no mask but they're required inside retail establishments and to pick up take out food. Hospitals are at 60% capacity and healthcare worker PPE is stocked. We are hopefully prepared.

I don't know why people can't understand that the reason things got better was BECAUSE of social distancing and stay at home orders.

It would be like me deciding to go off my BP meds because gee whiz, my BP has been so good since I've been on them, so I should be able to stop taking them!

It seems obvious to me but apparently others don't get it.

And if one more person tells me it's just like the flu or more people die from the flu each year (not in the space of two months!!!) or "people die of heart attacks and cancer and we don't shut down the country!" (Heart attacks and cancer are not contagious...)

Urgh...

My kids say they want to see me. I told them I will wear a mask and will sit 6 feet away. They don't think that's necessary (we all have been tested and none of us had it) but I will not take a chance with my precious kids.

Yikes! Mine is insulated but there are the gaps from the leaning. I'll have to work up the nerve to go to the hardware store to buy weather stripping.

Trip to the grocery store last night was not fun. My new city requires masks (my previous city only said they are "recommended ") but the store is small and was crowded. I was standing the required 6 feet behind the customer ahead of me in the checkout line and some guy tried to get ahead of me! Then he said "oh, are you in line?" Like, dude, social distancing! Hello!

Fortunately my cell service provider (T-Mobile) is providing free mobile hot spot access. I'm not sure how long it will be free but it allows me to connect my desktop and tablet to my cell service. Thankfully, since my self installation kit for TV and internet won't arrive for at least a week.

Oh yeah, I love that the building is vintage. And I figure since it is in a major earthquake zone and it's still standing it must be pretty sturdy. It's just a bit unsettling to be able to see into the stairwell landing even when the front door is closed.

I haven't been able to avoid stress recently (hence this journal) but many of the things that were making me anxious are done now. All that's left is having to return to work in a building with 150 or more people where social distancing is impossible and there have been several cases. That's all...sigh.

And I am not in good health. I have medical conditions but nothing severe enough to allow me to stop working. Before all this Covid mess I actually enjoyed my job.

I went down to get some of the stuff out of my car. I had on mask and gloves. Then afterward I thought about how I now have to park on the street, and people are constantly walking and jogging past my car, and I took some boxes out after opening the door and I hugged the boxes to my chest to carry them and I put everything away and didn't even think about it until just now.

My god...a person could go insane just thinking about all the possible ways to get exposed from just innocently going about their day. I feel like it is impossible to NOT be exposed.

I don't even know what to do. I wish I could stop all the "what if" thinking.

BTW, yoga and meditation don't work for me.

I'm glad he's doing better.

Thanks!

So my apartment is a vintage building. Probably built in the 1940's. The building leans. Like, leans forward and off to one side. You can really feel it. I'm in the living room and I'm tilted forward. The bathroom is especially lean-y. The front door has a gap between the door and the frame that ranges up to about 1". I can see the stairwell light through it. I'm not sure if anything can be done except install some weather stripping in the gap. Maybe I'll contact the management company although I'm not happy about having someone come into my apartment. Maybe I'll buy the weather stripping myself and install it. I've done it before, it's a simple adhesive strip. Looks ugly but hey, it's just a rental.

I'm being exceedingly lazy today although I MUST get my plants out of my car and need to unload the car and unpack umpteen boxes. I just feel like relaxing though...

Strange that I haven't heard the neighbor coughing so much during the day. Maybe the cough is only bad at night? Or maybe they go somewhere else during the day (hopefully not work!)

I decided to sleep as late as I want to today. I have nothing set up. I probably have to run to the grocery store (shudders) and have to unload my car but that's it for "outside" chores. Still need to unbox my stuff.

Slept about 7 hours. It was glorious.

My downstairs neighbor has been coughing non stop. It's making me very nervous. I've been keeping my windows open because the weather is so nice. I hope these "droplets" don't travel 10 feet upward and fly thru my windows. It's breezy outside too. Great.

The people in the apartment building next door are hosting a cookout. Now, it may be 10 people or fewer. I only saw 3 adults and a couple of kids but some were out of my line of sight.

I got used to my own townhouse in a super quiet neighborhood. Now there are sirens, lots of people walking around and my next door neighbors go in and out frequently. My cat looks at me every time she hears people as if to say "what happened to our quiet?"

In happier news, I saw one of my kids and my son in law today. We socially distanced so I only saw them from a few feet away outside my car, but it was wonderful. All of us have been tested and the virus was not detected in any of us, so once I am settled in they want to visit. I will wear a mask and sit 6 feet away with windows open, but it will still be wonderful.

Welcome back, anxiety!

So the internet installer calls. I had scheduled installation for today. I asked him if he had a mask and gloves. He said yes. I asked him if he would please remove his shoes before coming inside. He says no, it's against company policy. Sigh. So I rush to lay down some more plastic. He calls again to ask me which apartment I'm in. I say, there are only four in the building and I am upstairs on the left. He says front or back. I repeat, only four and I am upstairs on the left. He complains about the lack of parking and says he will call when he parks. Then he calls back to ask if I'm in the front or back. I say, UPSTAIRS ON THE LEFT. Turns out, the company gave him the wrong address! So I have no account set up. I have to call Monday to reschedule. He said there is no wiring so it will be a full install inside that will take a long time. Inside. With shoes on.

Why is there so much incompetence in the world???

Agree. I have seen the most fantastical stuff being passed around on both sides. Someone said the virus can travel 27 feet from one person to another. Others say it's a hoax resulting from a collaboration between the House Speaker and Chinese government (not sure how they got all the other countries on board, but whatever).

I still think (and I am no medical professional ) that the easiest way to become infected is to come in direct contact with an infected person. I still am disinfecting everything but I feel it's unlikely I will get it from touching a can of soup I bought at the grocery store or stepping in it outside.

Getting ready to go move my car closer hopefully. Mask and gloves at the ready!

If I lived in a remote area where I only encountered one or two people who I knew well I probably wouldn't worry as much. But I live in a large city where I have to grocery shop and work in a building where I am close to 150 other people. My company is approaching 1000 cases and has had 6 deaths.

So yeah, I do "stress" about it.

I have a sensitivity to alcohol so all the hand sanitizer has been affecting my skin. The skin on the backs of my hands is red, scaly and itches/burns. Last night it actually woke me from a sound sleep. I put some of my eczema cream on it. It helped with the itching/burning but not sure if it's the appropriate treatment and my aloe vera gel is packed away somewhere. I used a lot of sanitizer during my move but now I have full access to soap and water so I'll do that.

Thank you everyone!

Woke up with anxiety (not surprising) but I now expect it so it's less debilitating. Got 5 hours of sleep which is way more than I've had in weeks. Unpacking/disinfecting day today! My son has my cat so I need to have everything cleaned and disinfected before I go pick her up. I miss my silly little kitty.

So since I have been whining so much I wanted to report I am feeling better. I am about 90% moved out of my old home and living in my new apartment. Did 3-300 mile trips in 3 days. I was super anxious this morning before I started but now that I am here things seem calmer. I have a carload of my belongings to unload (too tired to do it tonight) plus unpacking what's already inside. But everything has been sitting since Wednesday so I feel OK about unpacking them tomorrow.

Only thing bugging me right now? My downstairs neighbor coughs almost constantly and the neighbor in the building next door sneezes a lot and my windows are partway open and I can't get to them because they are blocked by boxes and furniture. But I don't think the virus can float through ceilings or fly 10 feet upward.

Anyway, hoping for a really good night's sleep.

@seraphim, no, I don't want to go to a crowded hospital with sick people. That would really send me into a tailspin. I feel a bit better today. My friend was and is a tremendous help. She is an angel on earth.

I have wondered too about the virus being infectious on surfaces. So someone with the virus sneezes on a plastic item or on a cardboard box and 2 days later someone comes along and picks it up and gets the virus? It doesn't seem right that it can be just as infectious days later. But I accepted what the medicAL professionals and scientists were saying. I really don't know what to believe.