raquel765

Here is the deal - recently starting dating my ex-boyfriend, we have been seeing each other for 2.5 months - when we originally were together, back in 2001, we had this amazing connection, lust, attraction, it was real good! Fast forward to now - we picked up pretty much at the same spot we left off....great chemistry, just both of us are more mature, evolved, etc - my question, is it right of me to ask him what his intentions are? like what he wants with me? (he has casually mentioned things like talking about kids, careers, etc) So, I wanted to ask what made him want to contact me after 2 years - we have been emailing/catching up for 1 year before us dating again... Here is the other drawback to making "us" work - I just found out I am moving from the West Coast to Washington DC in the Fall for law school - so, I have feelings for him, and I want to know naturally, what he thinks of me/us? but then a part of me wants to be defensive since I am leaving, and maybe not continue something that needs to end...and I think he may also be putting up a wall, not falling for me again, since he knows I have to move.... I need your advice, do you think it would be a good idea to ask him about his intentions with me? and if he is being guarded about his feelings? or would it be a waste since I have to move....Thanks.

Hey thank you so much for your male perspective...well, I have something to add to what you said and I want to hear what you have to say.... so, when I made the comment that I am the type of girl his sisters & mom want him to marry - it is also because he also values in me my dedication to pursuing a law degree and also how into Judaism I am (he is Jewish too, so I know he likes my involvement in the community, he wants to learn more) I meant that comment more to mean that we have lots in common - and we had this amazing spark of chemistry when we originally dated (I was 21 he was 23, so we were young, immature) - the thing is that I have grown, matured - he has in his way, but I think now at 26 he enjoys the chase of women.... I know I am leaving to DC in the Fall - but how should I continue things from this point - from a guys perspective, do you think he is keeping in contact with his latest EX to be defensive/protect his feelings since he knows I am leaving? What do you make of it? can I say anything w/regards to him seeing his ex, or is it none of my business since we are nothing officially? we do have an amazing understanding of each other...and I know he recognizes that too.....but just maybe he is not ready for the right girl, or at least needs to play the field....give me your take on this, gracias

About the last response, he is 26 years old....I am 24 years old...I think of myself as mature for my age, I know myself pretty well, I know what I want in a guy & am pretty straightforward with people in general... But i echo all your responses and reasoning to this situation....he is confused, I know that! but what bothers me is that he tells me ALL the details, even though as a girl being curious and all and I asked questions of this girl - when he should not be that upfront if he is confused... Hubman - thanks for your input! I agree....I think I should let him loose - and maybe in part it is good than confronting him about this since we are not "officially" anything - and the fact that I will be moving in two months to go to law school may be a contributing part of why he is doing this, maybe being defensive.... Either way, this is no excuse for the back-and-forth with another girl....but I want to not get hurt in the end and keep the upper-hand, so I will back off for now..does that sound good to you guys? Thanks

I recently got back together with my ex-boyfriend - we dated about 3 years ago and we started talking about 1 year ago, and dating about 2 months so far.....the original reason we broke up was not a bad one...just both immature, and we went too fast too soon. plus, he has mentioned i am the girl his sisters and mom want for him - and he knows I am a good-girl that way.... So, he has been sweet and trying to win me over by being a gentleman, considerate, etc.....it has been nice. Even though he has casually mentioned being serious, the downside to us being "serious" is that I will be going to law school in the Fall in Washington DC...and he is in LA. So we are just enjoying each other's company....getting reacquainted, while he says he will visit me. The shocker the other day (I need help making sense of this)....he told me, after a great weekend together, that he was going out Sun nite with a friend, and after my questioning, he told me he was going to a play with his most recent ex-girlfriend. And he seemed to make it a big deal, by saying he was making reservations at a restaurant and getting ready for the nite...so I was hurt, even though I never said anything. HISTORY tells me she broke up with him to return to her EX, she has broken up with him since....she is single. And he tells me he is interested in her, but she is not. But they are just friends now. So my question, why would he date me with full-interest - and still casually mention he was interested in his ex-girlfriend.....is he confused or being hurtful? any opinions are great What is best form of action to take next? Thanks, Confused Girl