Yourwayornoway

Well let me tell you your not alone... Let me see if I can help you with a few things.. First you never really know someone.. You may think you do but you don't.. Think about yourself... Think about something that your embarrass about... Would you tell him all about it? Next think about your love life... Think about what you do when you want to get with a girl... Would you tell her about your alcoholic father and that your moms a drug addict? Probably not... You mention the good stuff... Even when you're with her... your not going to be telling her how you and you buddy went down to the strip club after work... Or how you look at porn on your computer after school... Because you know she wouldn't be happy about it..... It really doesn't make you a bad person.. So here is the part that may freak you out a bit… But don't let it because it's just an analogy... He is treating you like his girl friend. No, not in a sexual way but emotionally.. He cares a great deal about what you think and doesn't want to lose you at any cost... As a guy, he is extremely completive as you probably are to... He wants you to respect him.. He doesn't want to come off as a looser... Going back to the girlfriend thing... Say you see a girl.... You know she is "ok" maybe a few extra pounds, she is somewhat attractive but nothing like the thin blond in algebra. You know you don't stand a chance with the blond but maybe with the first girl... So you ask her out and she says "sure". Your like ok great, then she is calling you every hour on the hour giving you everything you want.. She is just easy.. Too easy, so you start looking more at the blond in algebra... And think, "I can do better"... Do you get what I'm saying? He want you to like him, he knows he can't compete with you.. But it doesn't stop him from trying.. So here is my advice... If you're ok with the friendship leave it along... If you want it to grow you need to open up.... In his eyes you are the king.. the master.. you do nothing wrong and you have no problems... Slowly start telling him your problems/issues... Ask for his advice on things... Talk about things that might turn your face RED.. Also don't paint him into a corner... You can mention stuff where he will know he has been caught in a lie... Pining him down will not help this issue one bit.. In fact it will probably make it worse as he believes you are out of his league and way more powerful..... Hey, good friends are hard to find.. Good luck with this.. Also I'm not responsible for anything bad that may come out of this advice…

I think your right... It just bothers me it's taken years to figure it out. Part of me doesn't want to know, but I just cant going on trying to be best friends just because he calls me that.. My options are to say something to him? or just try to see him as a friend and that's it.. What would you do??? Thanks for all your help..

What do you think I should do... Should I talk to him about it? I know he's doing stuff and not telling me? Like I'll say did you do anything fun this weekend? Then he will tell me everything in detail but one part. At the time I don't know what part he left out, if any... Then a few days pass and I talked to Mike another friend and he's telling me how him and Dan went to a strip club on Saturday! Dan's telling me how he ran out to laundry detergent and had to make a special trip to the store (on Monday) and totally forgot to mention the strip club?? What guy could forget about something like that? Maybe he just tells everyone "your my best friend" and I just need to accept I'll only know 60% of him. If I say something about the strip club he will probably say something like "I didn't want to go" "Mike starting giving me a hard time and I finally said ok". I don't want to talk to him about this one thing, but in general his way about leaving out parts he doesn't want me to know about for some reason... I don't care if he went to a strip clubs!!! Could there be guilt because he didn't ask me or didn't want me to go for some reason?

Yea Your probably right.. I just wish he would tell me what it bugging him... Maybe it's me?

He is not what you would call shy by any stretch of the imagination... It's almost like he's trying to impress everyone. He seems to pretend he is happy but I can tell by different comments when its just me and him that he's depressed. So yea I guess he is insecure... Do you ever feel like your hurting your friends but acting like this? I feel like he has another life or something that he's not telling me about. I guess it wouldn't hurt me so bad but it seems to come off as lying... And in my book you don't lie to your best friend..

My buddy Dan and I have been friends for years... We talk about everything together (girls, people, cars....) you get the idea... Well he has this way about him that adapts to the person he is around at the time... It is the strangest thing and he is so good at it... When it's just us hanging out we get along great and when other people/friends join us it great to. It's just that he acts different. You can tell he's uncomfortable sometimes and I can't put my finger on it. In fact I believe he tries to separate his buddy's in general not just me. Sometimes people tell me different things he has said and I'm like this person believes this, but I know it is not true. But I know he would want them to believe it... I know this sounds really weird but I feel like he treats me like his girl friend or something (not in a sexual way). He has said from time to time "your my best friend". I got to tell you though, I feel like he is playing everyone in his life... What is up with him… I'm thinking I should try to put some separation between us because I feel played but he does that to everyone.. I can also say he's a loner.. lots of acquaintances but doesn't let anyone real close… Is he mad I know him too well or do you think I don't know him at all?…