deuce

I read a post earlier where someone asked that if my husband were to die, how would I react. The truth right now, is that it wouldn't be any different than anyone else dying. No big deal. Answering that question told me alot about myself and where I'm at in this relationship. When I say that I want to be free, I want my independence. For too long I have done whatever this man has asked me to do. I realize that I am better off without him and just want to get on with my life as a single person. It was mentioned in a reply that I'm not helping my husband move on by telling him to find someone else that loves him. Furthermore that I should expect him to act like a husband now bc he is losing something. The fact of the matter is that it is too little to late. I am happy without him and refuse to go back into the relationship just to make him happy. If I'm unhappy, what is the point? If I shouldn't tell him to move on, what should I tell him then?

I HAVE DECIDED THAT I NEED TO FILE FOR DIVORCE BUT I SIMPLY CAN'T AFFORD IT. MY HUSBAND AND I OWN A HOME BUT I SOMETHIMES JUST FEEL LIKE WALKING AWAY FROM EVERYTHING JUST SO THAT I CAN BE FREE. HE PRESENTED ME WITH A QUICK CLAIM DEED, WHICH I REJECTED. LATER HE WROTE ME A CHECK FOR A FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS AND WROTE "PARTIAL DIVORCE SETTLEMENT ON IT." I RIPPED THE CHECK UP AND TOLD HIM THAT I DID. THIS MAN KEEPS TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME. I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE. I'M TIRED OF TELLING HIM THAT HE NEEDS TO FIND SOMEONE THAT LOVES HIM BC I DON'T. I HAVE MOVED OUT AND REGAINED SOME OF MY INDEPENDENCE BUT I'M TIRED OF HIM STILL ACTING LIKE MY HUSBAND. HOW CAN I AFFORD A DIVORCE. IF WE SOLD THE HOUSE COULD I STIPULATE THAT HE PAY FOR MY DIVORCE ATTORNEY AS PART OF THE SETTLEMENT? I WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH ASAP. PLS. ADVISE.

I have been married for 18years. During this time, my husband and I have had extramarital affairs. During the last affair that my husband had, we both agreed that I would move out. One year later, I moved back in to see if we could reconcile but because of certain issues during his affair (ie. him introducing the new girl to his family, him agreeing to me moving out without employment bc he wanted to be with her, spending the holidays with her and not me while we were apart, getting her pregnant and having her have an abortion w/complications, and him taking care of her during this time but when I had a motorcycle accident, he did not care for me as he did for her, taking her on vacation, allowing her to sleep at our house in our bed, planned parties at our house with her which he did not do with me, went to church with her but not with me. On top of all these things, which there are more, his mother threatened me which is the 2nd time that someone in his family had threatened me. I have once again moved out bc I cannot deal with these lingering issues. He is trying to make me feel guilty into staying in this marriage by telling me how much he loves me, no one else will love me like he does, etc. I am no longer happy w/him controlling my life and while I care for this man bc we share two adult children, I am no longer in love with him. What are your suggestions.