IS CYBER SEX CHEATING????

Is Cyber Sex cheating? What if he had many different people (WOMEN) online that he would chat to all the time. We fight all the time now... because it is still hard to understand the fact that I am laying in bed with someone that hurt me so much... but I love him... I really dont know what I should do. I found out he was cheating on 5/14/2003 not too long ago. I saw it in his Archive and I read it... it was Cyber sex. I was so upset I printed it off and I read it to him... he started crying and saying he doesnt know why he does it.... But I catch him in many lies... I think they are lies to make me more impressed with him or something... it is obvious that he lying... and he was mentioned to me a few times he thinks he is a compulsive liar... I mean I have my own problems. I mean I love him... more than words can say but I see that I am not happy right now...What should I do... Should I let it fly and try to start over? What would you do if you were in my shoes? I just dont know. I am against men or women cheating on their spouses... I mean I just feel sometimes when I am angry with him... I feel that if we were to break up I would be losing a lot and I would be losing someone that loves me. Sometimes I think I will never find anyone else to love me the way he does... maybe I am in denial... PLEASE HELP ME>>>>>>>>

JESSICA

If he loves you soo much why does he do things that hurt you so much? You will always find someone that can love you more and I think in this case that you will definitely find someone else that will love you more. Im not sure about if cyber sex is cheating or not but if its making you soo unhappy and makes you feel like your being cheated on then it probably is. I think if you have lost your trust then its probably time to end it because without trust relationships simply dont work.

I recently did the same thing. I guess it's a guy thing, i felt so so bad about it after that and swore 2 neva do it again, hopefully it was the first and last. Sometimes it might mean he's not satisfied wif his own sex life, others and in my case, he just couldn't help himself.

It's horrible, the guilt and I tried 2 hint 2 my gf what i did, i think she might've got the wrong idea but she's smart and it's probably just me coz she took it so well.

Happy Heb

To my opinion, anything that your partner does to make some kind of a sexual connection with another, and without informing you about it, even lying to you about it, is cheating.

In a way I know what you are feeling right now, because not too long ago I was lied to by an ex too. I found out the same way as you: a chat that I found on his computer with another girl, cybering, and it turned out they had met in real too.

It is the strangest thing when someone you thought you could trust blindly, lies to you. You feel like you are not worthy in a way, right? Not worthy to pay respect to by being honest to you. Well everyone is worthy, and so are you.

Seeing as you truly love him deeply, and he was very upset about what he has done, I think it is worth it to give him another chance. It seems like he doesn't want to loose you at all, and that he has a problem, which you might be able to help him with. You know everyone has his weak moments sometimes, and likes getting attention from others because it makes them confident, like 'hey i'm still in the market'. The trick is, you don't need to give in to the temptations if you already feel confident enough. Is he confident? You say he tells lies to impress you. 'Trying to impress' is not something confident people need to do, so perhaps your spouse just needs a confidence boost!

Only you know how to do this. It might help to even make him clear that you love him so much that you are willing to give him another chance. Tell him why you love him, spend some great days together, a reminder of what he already has. Or, if he really just finds the idea exciting to have virtual sex, why don't you get in front different computers and cyber with each other! Who knows, it might be a thrill to you and give an impulse to your relationship.

I wish you two the best!

~glassbell

After reading SwingFox's post, I would just like to add one more thing about the question if cyber sex is cheating.

SwingFox you wonder if reading erotic stories or watching porn online is cheating too, if you would consider cyber-sex as cheating. I don't think so. Cyber sex has one major difference from watching porn or reading erotic stories: communication between two human beings. As I said, my personal definition of cheating sexually is: "anything that your partner does to make some kind of a sexual connection with another, and without informing you about it, even lying to you about it, is cheating." Cheating needs at least two human beings to be involved, aware of one another and actively seeking sexual pleasure from each other in whatever way, with or without use of a medium. This would be bringing another person into the intimate zone of a relationship, whereas the special thing of a romantic relationship is the appointment of two people to only be sexually involved with each other or alone! (except if you specificially made different agreements of course)

Reading or watching porn involves only one person, and is merely watching or reading the fantasies you otherwise would fantasize about in the privacy of your mind. thereforeeeeee, to my opinion, watching porn and reading erotic stories are completely innocent. (except if you personally know the people in the porn films/photo's/stories, of course, and it would be a way of communicating -think webcam or exchanging personal fantasies-)

But of course, this is just my opinion.

Thank you Glassbell you have given me many things to look into ... as with all of you have done... Most people wish sometimes that they had more or they are unsatified... so maybe I have to see what he sees... and see if I can prove to him that he is all I want... A confidence boast is probably what needs to take place... okay.... thank you... and I welcome your replies =)

Jessica

Believe me swing fox... my life is one big topic... so I will be here bringing up things more and more... I enjoy this website... It is a wonderful thing to be able to bring your problems to the table, and be able to have people speak out their feelings about the same topic, from different religions, beliefs, and values. The way of life and relationships between people are different.. it all depends on your past... and the relationship values you have seen in family members and relatives.

As for if Cyber Sex is cheating....

This has been a ver controversal topic and I wanted to see what people of other backgrounds thought about my topic... and my problem. I mean It is much harder to be in a topic... be in the problem... be part of the problem... rather than talking about anothers issue. I personally feel if you are in the issue, ask around because sometimes your blinded by love, or feelings, or what not.

Thanks for everyones response.

Jessica

absolutely

I think so....

Cyber sex is definitely cheating. Even more so when the person is addicted to it. Its two people sharing an intimate thing together, whether or not its in person is not important. One day it might not be enough for him and he could physically cheat.

Let me cloud the issue even more. If the cyber sex is not between 2 people at either end of internet, but it's their on-line fantasy characters in a game that have sex? Virtual cyber sex?

if this man truly loved u and only u,he would have stopped.I think he is shady and should beconstanly watched.

~Meagan~