I just don't understand...

Hi again, eNotalone.com, I haven't posted anything in a while, because alot of things have been going on and I've recently fallen into and gotten out of the most severe depression state I've ever been in. Things are better now after a month and a half. So i have decided to post an update on things. I have an advanced situation, however. Girl-related. One month ago, there was a night where all my coworkers(including my one and only ex) and me were at a restaurant hanging out after work on a Friday night. There was alot of us and we squeezed into one booth, and ex and her best friend(she works with us,too) were pushed close together, obviously. However, sitting there next to her, all she did except for a few glances at everyone else, was stare at her best friend and start continuously to scratch and tap her shoulder and "accidently" grab her breast when she put her elbow on her shoulder.

After we got out of the place, I needed a ride to my car, so I asked her if she would take me and she did. Before I got out, I asked her if there was anything she wanted to talk about. She said no. So I brought up that what she was doing with her friend made me uncomfortable. I asked her if she had been having any urges or if she was feeling alright and that she was awfully "close" to her friend and she replied "If I was a lesbian, I'd tell you." I also said that she doesn't need to think that way, because there is a guy out there for her. I know now that I offended her.

She's pissed now, understandably. Pretty much doesn't like me. We have bumped into each other ALOT lately, haven't really exchanged words, but I hear from friends things she said, one of them was we were planning a six flags trip and she said she wouldn't go if I was there. I want her to like me, I really do, but I just keep doing dumb things. I also still want to get back together, I still have feelings for her.

Here's the real news, though, one of my friends that's gotten to be real good friends with her as of late, told me something she said about me.

He brought up the question of how she felt about me and she said, "Don't tell him this, but I think he's a sweet and funny guy, and I still think about him." She also said that she would like to get back together because she still has feelings for me, she just isn't sure what those feelings are. She told him this a couple of days before I brought "things" up.

This makes me feel better, and a little mad at myself. I tried to apologize to her by calling her, but she said that I was just trying to get her to feel sorry for me. Which she interprets things wrong all of the time, so that really doesn't surprise me. I'm just not sure what to do and I hope I didn't completely change her mind about me. But I really hurt her and for once, I'm more mad at myself than her. Help?

thats kind of a full plate there buddy and not really sure what I can tell you.

My question would be what did you say to her on the phone that made her think you were trying to get her to feel sorry?

My next question would be why do you assume that she always interprets things the wrong way?

So my advice would be to call or try to get a sit down conversation with her and don't talk about yourself....talk about her and how you feel about her and explain yourself and your actions to her like you did to us on this board and I will bet you that she will not interpret it wrong.

But wtf do i know

Best of luck though

Ok okay oookkaayyy. Basically you are crowding her, cramping her style... not giving her space. If you ever want her to get back together with you it has to be because she does so of her own free will and not because of something you say or do to change her mind. Regardless of what you hear from friends or whatever about what she may be feeling for you, you really have to get on with your life. There is a FAR better chance of her coming back to you if she knows you can live without her. Independance is attractive in itself! so for the time being, focus on the other great things in life. No sucking up to her! nothing! act as if you're ok now and that you're ready to move on... It will be alot better for yourself as a person if you can at least try to overcome her. Even if she isn't the one, you'll learn alot more about yourself if you focus your energy on being an independent.

Good luck

I didn't realize i wrote that much, sorry. First of all, I'm not a psycho, I just have had these feelings for such a long time I don't know how to handle them anymore. They're causing me to make so many mistakes.

1. I asked her why she was so mad at me andwhy did she run away from me.

2. Anytime I have the slightest tone of anger in my voice, if I close her car door the wrong way, and if I act disappointed that I didn't get to do anything with her she gets pissed off at me.

That should answer your questions. Whenever I'm with her, all I talk about is her. I explain my actions to her all the time. On all occasions, except one, I complement her, ask how things are going, why she acted this way to that and that way to this, I've even told her how I felt about her(once). I care more for her than I do myself, we have known each other for over 2 years and have become really close. She knows things about me that noone else knows and I know things about her noone else, even her closest friends, knows.

And she doesn't seem to care if I'm happy or not without her.

That's it, thanks for listening.