Why do I still feel butterflies about my 8th grade crush? in love or obsessed?

In order for you to understand, I think I'll start at the beginning 😊. From elementary to middle school I went to the same school with the same people. There was a boy that I knew of since 3rd grade but we didn't really become friends until 8th grade. We became close through his obsession of if "helping" me get my crush to like me (aka his friend) it didn't take long before I'd forgotten all about his friend and I fell for him. It was completely un expected and he wasn't even my type! None the less, he found his was under my skin and into my heart.

my feelings grew stronger throughout the year and finally it was time for the well known 8th grade dance. My best friend at the time teased me all the time since we were all in the same friend circle and gave me the option of asking him to te dance myself, or her telling him herself. Clearly I was backed into a corner, what else could I do 😬. We were in history class when finally I asked him to the dance and to my surprise he said yes! That day the butterflies in my stomach danced all day and night. It was the first time I had ever had anyone show any kind of similar feelings towards me, I thought I was in love 💖

In the days counting down to the dance, he got really sick and didn't show up to school. I felt terrible and I hoped every day that he'd get better and come back to school. The day of the dance came and he didn't show up 😔 I wasn't upset that my date wasn't there but I was worried to death that he was in pain and had been gone for so long.

Halfway into the dance I expressed my concerns to my friend before she opened her eyes wide and smiled. I turned to see him stroll into the door. Sweaty and still looking a bit sick but here! It took my breath away, I couldn't believe he was actually there!

Now fast forward, that was the last time I saw him because my parents divorce pushed us to move away. We stayed close for a while but eventually we stopped talking. I had such strong feelings for him that I cried for a whole year. Now it's been 5 years and every once in a while, I dream about him in his 8th grade form about us in some way being together. It was okay in the beginning and understandable but now I don't know him anymore! When I see his pictures on social media I get butterflies all over again like it's 8th grade! I've grown up now, had other dates, experienced more and I'm not the same girl I was then so why do I still feel like this? Am I still in love? Or am I just obsessed? Every time I say it out loud I sound crazy. Anyone have any advice?

I don't know if you are obsessed (although it seems like you were at one point if you cried a whole year over him), but you definitely aren't over him yet, and, after 5 years, I think you probably should be.

You're an adult now, is distance still a factor? Could you realistically be with him again? Do you think you didn't get proper closure?

I very well may need closure since my dreams are about seeing him again. Maybe my subconscious needs a proper goodbye

Well, unless you ended things on bad terms, I don't see why you couldn't talk to him again. Is he single? I wouldn't start with how you have still have feelings for him off the bat, but you could test the waters.