She Doesn't Initiate Texting

My current girlfriend and I have been dating for just a little over 3 weeks now and things have been going really well. Although we've been in a long-distance relationship because of Christmas break, we still have a fantastic connection. We hung out on the 10th (one day ago) and things went really well. We had really good chemistry, got intimate, went out to dinner and went to the movies with another couple from my hometown. Things couldn't have gone better.

Here's the problem:

She doesn't initiate texting - ever. When we first started seeing each other (non-exclusive) she would text me first sometimes and I'd text her first sometimes. That's how things usually went, but now she doesn't seem to reach out anymore. I don't even know. Maybe I'm overanalyzing things too much, but we had such an amazing time when she came down and things were great so I don't understand why she can't just take some time out of the day to reach out to me. I guess our communication skills as a couple really isn't as good as I thought, maybe I should just tell her that I'd like for her to text me more. I'm not sure, but I have strong feelings for this girl already and I guess my fear of losing her is bringing out my insecurities and telling me that something is wrong when it really isn't. I'm not sure. My plan was to not text her at all until she reaches out to me.

Thoughts? Advice?

How often do you actually talk to her? Talk means using your voice, not facebook or texting or morse code.

I've called her on a couple of occassions through out break but she's a texting type of girl. But when we see each other in person it's much easier to communicate and she's really into it when we're out.

We got back to school this Sunday and classes start Tuesday. She lives in the same dorm building as me so we'll be seeing each other daily pretty much.

Texting is the lazy person's way of communicating--that's why everyone is so in love with it. Just pretend like it's 1994 and there was no such thing as texting and focus on, you know, actually spending time with her

Some people hate texting and only use it when a phone call isn't possible. Including myself. Has nothing to do with how someone feels about you.

My goodness, someone who won't initiate texting, the horror.

Seriously, it's been a three week long distance relationship. She may very well have gotten bored with it and is ready to move onto something different.

Or maybe you have great chemistry as you claim and she just isn't into texting while she's away. No one knows.

The one thing I will say is insecurity is a very unattractive trait in a boyfriend. So suck it up and get that under control. If she sees you as needy the relationship is doomed.

I hate texting. I stopped talking to one guy from Plenty of Fish because he always wanted to text and I didn't. But if she likes texting, I dunno, she might feel more secure in the relationship so she's stopped putting in that extra effort. Some people put in extra effort at the beginning in order to 'get' the other person, you know what I mean?

Just ring her instead, because the texting isn't working. And tell her over the phone that you would like her to text you more. I mean, is she really going to say "Oh I hate texting"? Well then how else are you supposed to communicate?

Seriously, it's been a three week long distance relationship. She may very well have gotten bored with it and is ready to move onto something different.

We go to the same college and were together (non-exclusive) for about a month before this. We see each other on Sunday and are going back to college together to live in the same dorm building.

Having a healthy level of insecurity is appropriate in any relationship, what makes you think that showing any type of insecurity will literally have someone "move onto something different" so easily?

Yes, sometimes I do need a kick here and there to shove myself back into place, but I don't understand why your comment was so negative and unwanted.

Is this how you treat other eNAers? Last time I checked, this is a place where we can come to get legitimate, concrete advice that is earned through personal experience and can be presented in a matter that's appropriate for someone in a tough position. I'm not in a tough position, I just think the way you handled this thread was rude, but that's just me.

^ I think your problem, quite frankly, is you need a thicker skin.

Her not being into texting doesn't mean she's not into YOU!

^ I think your problem, quite frankly, is you need a thicker skin.

I can take constructive criticism, but I don't accept disrespect.

I'm a little confused about the situation. You say this is a long distance relationship because of the xmas break. You've been dating for 3 weeks. Has the entire thing been long distance? How many times have you seen her in person?

I'm a little confused about the situation. You say this is a long distance relationship because of the xmas break. You've been dating for 3 weeks. Has the entire thing been long distance? How many times have you seen her in person?

Allow me to clarify.

We met at college in the Fall semester and were friends for about 2 months before anything started happening. She lives in my dorm building and we were "together" for about a month before Christmas Break started. Once on Christmas Break, I visited her about 4 days into it and ended up asking her out over dinner. She accepted and we've been together over break this entire time. So it's only long-distance temporarily and we've seen each other about 4 times this break and each time has been fantastic. I tend to overanalyze things so I just need to relax and become calm.

We'll be seeing each other Sunday when we get back to school for the Spring semester.

Some people just aren't the type to initiate texting/calling and the most important thing about this is to communicate that with her to see how she feels about it. Maybe she's just relaxed or used to you initiating that she's in that comfortable spot. But if all signs indicate that you two get along great when you're physically with one another I don't see a reason to dig into the situation further.

Enjoy dating her as this is really a new stage still and see how things go. If you want to ask her, make it casual in a teasing way so she doesn't take it the wrong way.

Enjoy dating her as this is really a new stage still and see how things go. If you want to ask her, make it casual in a teasing way so she doesn't take it the wrong way.

Definitely agreed.

I just need to relax in these types of situations. I've been overanalyzing too much and can't seem to just take it easy.

I'll work through my over-thinking.

You should mirror her actions..

Dont text unless she texts

Dont call unless she calls

Etc..

I think that this is something you should just address with her openly. Since your relationship is just in its infancy, you should both be working toward building a solid foundation for communication in the future. Tell her how you feel about texting first. Maybe she likes that you text her first since it makes her feel that you're always thinking about her. She probably doesn't see a problem since she expects you to initiate conversation.