boltnrun

No, it's upsetting when someone at work treats you rudely. When that man spoke to me the way he did I remained calm and resolute in front of him but when I reported him to my manager my voice was shaking. Not out of fear but out of anger. I was furious that this man thought it was acceptable to tell me my brain doesn't know how to process information. So yes, it is upsetting. But I'll be g*d damned if I'm going to accept being spoken to that way. I wasn't going to slink away. I worked too hard to get into management and that man wasn't going to destroy my fortitude. You can do this!

It's illegal in the US. It's a federal crime, not specific to any one state. And yes, talking about all the sex you have can absolutely be considered sexual harassment. Trust Rainbows, she works in the legal profession!

I worked somewhere where I was the most senior employee in the office after THREE WEEKS. Yep, in that three weeks everyone else quit (except the owner's wife). That place was horribly toxic. Money and fancy titles can't make up for a toxic work environment IMO.

Definitely cannot mention sex or having sex. You absolutely could be termed on the spot for saying something like that. You can set boundaries without being offensive or crossing the line into being inappropriate.

As long as people tiptoe around her (and encourage you to do so OR advise you to "ignore" her) she will continue. Again, what do you have to lose? If you leave earlier than planned they'll have no one to train her. So why not say something to her like "You and I will have to work together for the next few weeks so we might as well make the best of it. How about we leave the commentary outside the door and focus on work?" And you could tell your manager that you're not interested in dealing with someone who's trying to be unpleasant, so if they don't want to say something to her you will deal with it in your own way. Assure them you won't be unprofessional but you also won't be treated poorly. I could maybe understand if you were staying, but you're not. So why not say something? And ask your fears what it is you're really afraid of. That's how I deal with things that I'm irrationally nervous about.

You have nothing to lose if you give it right back to her. Or alternatively you could do what I did when a manager I knew I would have to continue working with was rude to me. I said calmly but firmly "D, please do not speak to me that way." And when he persisted I repeated "Please do not speak to me that way. I am a professional and I don't appreciate being spoken to that way." Interestingly he came back later to apologize. And MORE interestingly he ended up becoming somewhat Twitter famous (he got fired from the company he worked for next and made a big stink about it publicly). So why not just say something? These people continue because everyone lets them get away with it.

I work for a massive international corporation. I've found that some locations are fantastic and well-managed (like the one I'm lucky enough to work at) and others are sh*t shows (like one I occasionally am asked to help support). I don't think being successful or having a high powered career means you have to put up with toxicity. If you're already fairly certain this is not the right job for you, why bother even starting? And I also agree that knee-jerk accepting of job offers doesn't serve you well. It's OK to take a few days to consider if it's the right fit.

Look, we're not your husband. I for one cannot be intimidated by words someone types into an advice forum. You haven't said what it is your husband did to deserve the way you treat him. Perhaps you don't care to share why you have such contempt for him. That's certainly your right. But I won't give you advice on how to get or keep your husband under your thumb. I wish him and the children all the best.

Have you signed the offer yet? Think about what would happen if you contacted the company to say you've decided to decline the offer. Then think about rebuttals to those things. The company will be fine, BTW. They should have other candidates but if they don't that is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Or, you could take the job and spend the entire time being miserable. An "opportunity" isn't doing you any good if you're anxious and frantic all the time.

Using the kids as weapons is pretty lousy, BTW. I certainly hope you wouldn't actually do this.

Has he indicated he's tired of being treated like he needs to bow down to you and wants out? Or has he simply tried to assert himself or set boundaries? Do you take care of his needs?

Ask him where he feels he belongs.

Why do you need to have "power" over someone you claim to love? You either have deep seeded fears or you desire to harm your partner because you enjoy it (which isn't love, BTW). "Why" is key.

Wouldn't it be more honest and more efficient to just tell you his true age? It doesn't seem he trusted that you legitimately liked him if he feared you'd dump him because of his age. Or maybe he feared you'd dump him over his lying, which was more likely. But you didn't. I hope HE trusts YOU now.

She's doing it now. Seeing him and also keeping you on the hook.