Buco24

You hurt me in every possible way! You hurt my mind, my heart and my soul! You almost made me lose faith in love! But you know what? I still believe in love! I know that someday I will be happy again, that someday there will be someone who will love me how I deserve to be loved! You played with me for the last 7 months and I believed you. When you find out about my moms cancer you said you'll be there for me no matter what. For the first two weeks yeah you where there and then you stopped. You didn't ask once how I'm or my mom are doing, because you simply didn't care at all. Everything you said before was a big lie! You were a big lie!! You're afraid of the future, of commitment. You're the biggest pessimist I know! I worked on myself and you said you can see it and then?! You still left. You wanted me to be perfect, are you? There's nothing that's perfect, no one and nothing. I hope that one day you'll wake up and think what have I done? But then I will have moved on and will have the time of my life. Every down has an up and every up has a down. I am down right now and you think you're up but my friend one day I will look down on you and the only thing I will have left for you will be pity. And that day will come and I hope sooner than later. Soon I will have a new job and I won't have to see you every and each day. I won't need to hear your voice. I won't get to know that you plan on going to Cuba with a friend this year although we had planned a west coast trip in the states. I hate myself for still not being able to forget you, to think about you. I hate myself that I still have some hope left secretly knowing you already gave up on us and moved on. But more than that I hate you. I hate myself for having loved you ever! For letting you in my heart. I think everything happens for a reason and that I needed to live through that. But I also believe in karma, what goes around comes around and everyone will get what he deserves. So good luck in your future! And haha you're still wondering why I haven't texted or contacted you in some way. It's been 6 weeks we really talked, just a few words at work which I don't count. It's the first time ever that we weren't in contact for so long. So yeah this time I won't be the one contacting and fighting. I did more than anyone should do for a relationship. Now would've been your turn and you did nothing and that tells everything I need to know. Go and keep on being a coward in every situation in your life, because that's the only thing you're good at. Goodbye and stay where you are, cause I don't need or want you! You don't deserve me or my love! Go and have fun with your friends but soon you will find out that your 'freedom' and friends are not the most important thing in life.

Thank you very much Shane! I think I get your point and know you're right! I know alcohol isn't an excuse but last night I was totally drunk and when we talked it was all so emotional etc that I couldn't resist. My plan is not giving in that easily again. I want him to prove me that he wants this relationship! I guess I will just wait and see what happens! I hope you wish me luck though Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Maybe that's right and he doesn't want to give up the sex like you said. But that's not what we want to focus on. We want to go to the movies, cook together, just do normal stuff. Do you think he said he'll do that just to get some sex? I am of course totally afraid of what will happen but after so many months he admitted he can't do it without me and that he wants to try. I didn't plan on doing anything at all. I want him to come to me and ask me if I want to go to the movies or whatever. But I feel like I have to try otherwise I'll always ask myself what if.. Can you understand that? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@shane falco yeah maybe you're right and maybe not. The last few weeks were different as it is now, that's what I'm feeling. First time after months he said he wants to try again. And I believe him. I know him and I know that he can't give up on me that's why he wants to try it again too. And if you're right and this doesn't bring us anywhere then so be it. But at least I got another chance to try and will always be able to say we tried everything. I just hope that it works how I want it to be! Thanks for your reply! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi guys! First time I posted here was on 11/15/14. You can read my post here: Then after a time I gave up and posted this: After our talk before nye we haven't seen or heard each other for a week. Then Monday came and we had to see each other again because we work together. First day I was pissed and not really nice to him. Second day I was nicer, talked a bit with him but only about work. Third day I felt I couldn't do it and told him, still at work, that I can't do that anymore and we need to talk how to behave at work. So in the evening we went to his place after work. We talked a lot. He said he talked to a few girls but after 10 mins at the latest he didn't feel interested in them at all. He said I knew how to make him crazy about me and so on. That you could put there ten models and he'd always choose me. We said we'll be distant at work but nice if we had to talk. That's how we did. But he started texting me again. Last night I went out with a gf of mine, we drank a lot and were totally drunk. I couldn't get him out of my head and texted him if he wanted me fully not only for sex. He said I was pressuring him to decide instantly. I said no I just want you and want you to want me. I said I'm almost at your place either I take the next taxi or I come to your place. He said as of now I say no. But I ignored that and rang his bell. He opened the door. We sat in the living room, me totally drunk. I was laughing and feeling good. He said let me make a suggestion, how about we spend some time together the next 3,4 weeks, cook, go to the movies etc and then see what happens, what we feel for each other. I was shocked and happy at the same time. I don't know where this will bring us, if we'll ever get to be happy again or not. But I know I want to try! I know that this is our last chance to try anything and if we can't get along it will be over forever and ever. We agreed that we won't do that longer than 3,4 weeks. I stayed over and we had fun and sex when I was leaving today to get to the baby shower of a friend, we hugged and kissed. As of for now we'll probably go to the movies this week. I have no idea what will happen the next few weeks but I hope that we'll find the love back we once shared. I always did how I felt like. Most of the time it was a totally hopeless situation. I felt lost. I talked to many many people in person and also listened to the advices on here but always did what I thought was right. I don't know what will happen but I would never have thought that we'll get here one day. Once again I believe in hoping and believing. If you think it's right you should fight and not give up. But sometimes you have to of course but I think everyone knows when the time is right for not giving up or for doing so. So please keep your fingers crossed that he falls in love with me again That's my only wish! I'm a bit afraid of the next few weeks and also excited. It's now or never!! I wish everyone on here so much luck!! That everyone gets what he wants! Take care guys! x Oh and if anyone is interested in my story I'll post in a few weeks again Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk