Chasing a Hyperactive Heart: An Introvert's Guide to Successful Communication

When an introvert sets their sights on someone who appears completely out of reach, whether in a romantic or platonic relationship, it can end up like a Goldilocks and the Three Bears story – too hot, too cold, just right. This can be especially true when trying to talk to a hyperactive girl – one who's bubbly and outgoing, always looking for something to do, someone to talk to. That kind of energy can be overwhelming, especially to the more introspective person who may find themselves doubting their abilities in engaging with someone who acts and speaks at lightning speed.

When it comes to interacting with this type of person, there are ways to feel heard and seen while also bridging what could be considered a vast gap between the two personalities. With practice and determination, reaching out and making conversation with a hyperactive person can be a fun and meaningful experience.

The first step? Self-awareness. Not only should someone targeted by hyperactivity understand their own personality (e.g. how do you best express yourself, how often do you need breaks in a conversation) but also the temperament of their partner as well, as that can provide a helpful guide when it comes to navigating the give and take of engagement. Understanding temperaments and learning to work within those dynamics, while being mindful of social etiquette and personal respect, can go a long way in creating a comfortable, productive space.

Another key part of successful communication is recognizing conversation cues. Many conversations in which both people want to listen and be heard begin with an implicit contract – who will speak first and for how long and so on. Often times, a hyperactive person may require more nonverbal input in order to be cued into a conversation. Understanding these contextual clues, such as eye contact, gestures, handshakes, and subtle invitations to speak, can assist an introvert when it comes to initiating as well as participating in conversation.

When engaging, take a slow and steady approach. Give yourself ample opportunity to think before speaking and, if necessary, talk slower than usual so that others can better process what’s being said. Additionally, limit the use of slang and try not to take over the conversation by talking too much – simply allow yourself to be open and aware of your own feelings and those of your partner. With the right guidance, and a bit of courage, anyone can learn to communicate effectively with anyone, no matter how different they may seem to be.

Hyperactivity can be intimidating, particularly to those who have a more introspective outlook on life, yet there can be beauty found in even the most seemingly chaotic moments. Remain courageous and explore the options available to both sides of the equation; open your heart and mind, no matter how fleeting the interaction may seem. Enjoy the rhythm of the conversation and know that in the face of the unknown, success can still be achieved.