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Thread: Should I break up with my boyfriend because of distance?

  1. #1
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    Should I break up with my boyfriend because of distance?

    My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months now. He lives roughly 50 miles away from me. I only get to see 1-2 times a week. It's hard because I miss him. I don't know if I should end things because I don't think we have any plans to move closer to one another anytime soon. I love him, but I always feel so uncertain about things. We are both in our early twenties. I don't want to break up and end up regretting my decision later on. He really loves me & treats me well, but I don't know why I feel this way. What should I do?

  2. #2
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    Can't you both spend some nights at each others places?

    I think LDR's can be testing. My little brother is in one now and he is finding it extremely hard. She lives in Sweden , him in London UK - I really see it ending, he says so himself.

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    I would stay with him as long as he was treating you well and seeing you at least 1-2 times a week. 50 miles is nothing between lovers. If he can't meet you halfway, well...

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    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MFloyd View Post
    I would stay with him as long as he was treating you well and seeing you at least 1-2 times a week. 50 miles is nothing between lovers. If he can't meet you halfway, well...
    This^

    I'd hold off on breaking up with him, as it seems a little trivial, especially when you're only an hour away. Have you talked to him about this?

    Like Floyd said, try to meet each other half way. Stay over. What's your boyfriend said on this issue? What's he decided to do about it?

    You said that you're unsure about moving closer together. Is that because he gave you no answer about it? You're only 5 months into the relationship. That's very young, to be honest. Focus on getting to know each other more. You may find out that he may not be the one for you later on. In which case it'd probably would be a counter-intuitive move to move where he is in the first place.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RitaTrue View Post
    This^

    I'd hold off on breaking up with him, as it seems a little trivial, especially when you're only an hour away. Have you talked to him about this?

    Like Floyd said, try to meet each other half way. Stay over. What's your boyfriend said on this issue? What's he decided to do about it?

    You said that you're unsure about moving closer together. Is that because he gave you no answer about it? You're only 5 months into the relationship. That's very young, to be honest. Focus on getting to know each other more. You may find out that he may not be the one for you later on. In which case it'd probably would be a counter-intuitive move to move where he is in the first place.
    I talked to him about this yesterday. He agreed that the distance thing is not very geographically convenient for us both & that he would like to meet each other half way as well. The thing is he's very supportive and good in every way, but I don't know why I still have these doubts when it comes to us. He always treats me very well & he really loves me. My family & friends really like him and he totally has their approval. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the whole distance thing or what....

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    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Can you guys compromise and meet somewhere in the middle?

    maybe video chat using the computer when you can't see each other.

    25 miles isn't that far..
    The Roots of Violence:

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    -Mahatma Gandhi

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    Platinum Member LDRohnos's Avatar
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    50 Miles? I'm not going to make light of your situations but....50 Miles? One hour drive (or thereabouts) isn't that big of a deal...to me anyway. Then again I've been in 250 mile and 1000 mile long LDR's before.

    What about the distance is concerning you? Other than perhaps not being able to see each other as often?
    "I am one of those Melodramatic fools, Neurotic to the bone. No doubt about it."

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    Are you serious?? What's wrong with seeing him 1-2 times a week? Jeez.....it's not that big of a deal...........

  10. #9
    Member BrandiBroken's Avatar
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    My boyfriend and I have been on and off for over 11 years. We didn't even see each other but once in the first almost ten years. We were basically at opposite ends of the state, then had a few states in between us, plus later he was halfway around the world with deployment. We finally started seeing each other more often in 2011 when I would fly out to see him.

    Distance can be a pain, and only you can decide if it's too much to handle, but just looking at the surface I don't think it's enough to break up with someone. Not if you truly care about them and want to be with them. You're early on into the relationship, too. Plans to move for some people do not come up or seem like something they are ready to just jump into a do.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by littlerain View Post
    I talked to him about this yesterday. He agreed that the distance thing is not very geographically convenient for us both & that he would like to meet each other half way as well.
    He's told you that he's willing to meet you halfway. If you're uneasy staying over at his place, this is another fix to it. If you're still feeling uneasy about it, then the problem is not distance.

    I don't know if it's the whole distance thing or what....
    Its not distance. You behoove it to yourself to find out what it really is, before you make a hasty decision.

    -Rita

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