Boomer Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 my ex and me have been broken up for 3 months now. One day she told me that I do not have enough feelings for her and that was it. I deleted her from my facebook as part of my nc. She sent me facebook message: " seriously, deleting me from your facebook contact list, come on". I do not get what is trying to say? Should I respons somehow? Any advice is appreciated Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 my ex and me have been broken up for 3 months now. One day she told me that I do not have enough feelings for her and that was it. I deleted her from my facebook as part of my nc. She sent me facebook message: " seriously, deleting me from your facebook contact list, come on". I do not get what is trying to say? Should I respons somehow? Any advice is appreciated what would responding accomplish? Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 ignore her... she is obviously pissed off and was pretty immature to send that messge. Don't stoop to her level Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 She's trying to get a rise out of you... it's her way of controlling the situation. I'm sure she doesn't like it that you've gone NC and it's bugging her that you might be out there, having a good time, etc. Take the high road, and don't respond. OR if you really, really feel the need, then tell her the truth... that you're trying to heal and move on and having her facebook there was preventing your healing. But if you do respond, you're opening up a door that you may not want to have open.. Link to comment
Boomer Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I just feel that relationship was given up too easily. Never had a chance for real conversation. At the time I did not know but now it looks like she found someone else because I saw pictures on facebook. I guess no point now anyway. I do not want to expose myself so I get a boot again if I tell her the truth. SO I guess continue NC Link to comment
Boomer Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I mean relationship has a fair amount of disaggrements and can't be smooth all the time so people need to work on it and not just give up like she did Link to comment
wintermelody Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 As the above poster said, she is trying to get a reaction out of you. She wants you to respond to prove something to herself. Do yourself a favour, and don't reply. She's playing games with you. Link to comment
Up and Down Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I agree don't reply. Link to comment
Boomer Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Thanks guys for your support. You really help me. This time I did not plead and ask and annoy her like a did in relationship before this one. Thanks to you . At least I manage to keep some sort of dignity Link to comment
Boomer Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 So I guess maybe she wanted to see if to invite me to her birthday party. She sent me a text " happy birthday" back in august for my 30. I thought it was nice but lame. SMS instead of calling and wishing happy birthday. Should I wish her happy birthday or refrain from it at all? Link to comment
i_win Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I just feel that relationship was given up too easily. Never had a chance for real conversation. Read what you wrote again. She never gave you a chance when she decided to move on with her life...so why should you? I don't think this is overly spiteful...but why does she get to call the shots on her terms? You've got control of yourself now and no control over her. I think it's getting to her that she can't see what you are up to and she's communicating to you in a very negative and immature way. If she had messaged you and asked politely what the deal was that's different...but at this point she's just acting out. Ignore it. Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Many times people will start "finding" problems in the relationship when they have found someone new. It helps relieve them of guilt and gives them an excuse to leave. Sounds to me maybe this is why she did this to you. She could be fishing for a happy birthday, or whatever. Should you respond? That's entirely up to you. If you do, just know (as I mentioned before) that you're opening up a door of communication that could lead to more heartache, unanswered questions, NEW questions, etc. Link to comment
wintermelody Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I would refrain. By wishing her a happy birthday may seem innocent, your response is her foot in the door again. Link to comment
Boomer Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I think I agree with you with no responding. Looking at pictures yesterday steered negative emotions I had hard time sleeping... not sure why even Link to comment
wintermelody Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 And by reading your many threads on this particular individual, this girl is nothing but trouble. She brings you down, makes you hurt, makes you feel hopeless, drains your emotional energy... This is not a person whom care's about your well being, nor has your heart in best interest. Walk away from her messages, and get on with your life. All you are to her is a toy to play with when she wants something. Link to comment
wintermelody Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 As a side-note (sorry, lol) All this girl does is hinder the healing process so you can heal, get healthy, feel closure and be happy with life and/or yourself again. Link to comment
Boomer Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 I do not understand why she does that. What kind of control does she need. She went to another relationship right away and not working on ours. and now she contacts me??? no decency at all Link to comment
wintermelody Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Because she gets a razz out of seeing you suffer. It boosts her already low-self confidence, many insecurities, and crappy relationship. She still wants to control your emotions and she is successful if you respond back. This woman (too immature to be that), believes she has you in the palm of her hand. She's keeping you away for a rainy day at her own convenience. This is the only reason she is contacting you. Believe me, she knows you still harbor feelings for her and she is using these feelings against you, for her own advantage. Her intentions are cruel, shallow, and fallacious. These flowery messages she is sending you is a disguise. It's her disguise to get you to talk to her again. Ignore her, and move on with your life. You'll never get closure by letting her mess with your mind. Link to comment
wintermelody Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 All you are in her life my friend, is a pawn and that is all you will ever be to her. Understand this, learn this, and pick up the dignity you have left and walk away from her before you have no dignity left as a man. Link to comment
unicorn78 Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Yeah, I totally agree with you. Link to comment
Up and Down Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 You might want to start a new thread for this, rather than posting in someone elses. As for his wife not being his friend thats not a big deal, I know many couples whose spouses do not have facebook accounts. As for him contacting you, maybe he is just trying to bury the hatchett. Link to comment
Boomer Posted December 26, 2008 Author Share Posted December 26, 2008 Update: I saw my ex at the club yesterday. She passed by and said hello how is life, work. I smiled and said fine. Then she went away to dance with her gfs. Then she came back and danced with me. Then we had a drink and started talking about life on the coach. At the end when I was about to leave I said that it was nice to see you and asked if I can invite her somewhere. She answered " as a friend?. I am not exactly single". I was really disappointed because I do not really want to be in friendzone. Also she remembered all these small details: removing her from facebook and not wishing her happy birthday... blah I could not sleep thinking about this all night. This sucks.. Link to comment
Boomer Posted December 26, 2008 Author Share Posted December 26, 2008 she said : "you know good people are hard to come by". meaning we should be friends. What would you suggest? Link to comment
Boomer Posted December 26, 2008 Author Share Posted December 26, 2008 riduculous. we dated 3 months broke up in july and it has been 6 months and I am still not over this. What is happening? Help Link to comment
Up and Down Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 riduculous. we dated 3 months broke up in july and it has been 6 months and I am still not over this. What is happening? Help Stay away from her or at the very least keep your contact to a minimum. It is slowing your healing process. It sounds like your brain is working overtime trying to process all the hypothetical situations and the what if's. Link to comment
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