Im so confused and hurt...now what?

[bungalowone]

My boyfriend of a little over a year just broke up with me suddenly a week ago. I've been so upset and confused and I can't stop crying. He's 20 and I'm 22. I just graduated from college and he is starting his junior year. Everything was perfect. We did everything together and were completely in love.

 

Although he has been with lots of girls before me, he considered me his first real relationship. He wasnt my first serious boyfriend, but the first i really felt like i loved. He was also the first person i slept with.

 

One night he came over and started acting weird, so i kept trying to get him to talk to me. He was saying that it's hard for him when i get upset and cry about things and sometimes he just doesnt want to have a girlfriend and that he's only twenty and we're too serious and too wrapped up in each other's lives, but then other times he can't imagine his life without me. Just two days before this, he told me he couldnt imagine his life without me and we had an awesome weekend.

 

It was just so sudden and confusing. He says he feels like he is missing out on the college experience that i make him feel guilty for being with his friends instead of me. He kept saying that he just wants to be alone and away from the whole relationship thing. That it was nothing i did wrong and that he still loves me and cares about me and would be there for me in any circumstance and that im important to him. he says he wont just let me get flushed out of his life and that we'll still see each other.

 

he was always the one that talked about the future and what it was going to be like and kids and marriage and everything...i had no hints that he was ever feeling pressured by me, who is by no means looking to be married yet, but i still want to be with him....

 

He left that night and ive talked to him online a couple of times. he says he still has all my pictures and everything up and wonders why i dont want to wear this little ring he gave to me. he says we'll figure it out when i ask what we are supposed to do now. says he'll do whatever i want as far as talking. he hasnt called...and i dont know what to do when he does? im avoiding him now online, because i dont want to just chit chat. what if he starts seeing someone else? how can i still talk to him then? how can i just let him go when there was nothing wrong with the actual relationship.

 

do i keep in contact with him in hopes that he will want to be with me once he has some alone time. can i believe that he just needs some space and will come back? im just confused and really alone...my friends have moved away and i just have my roommate who was also broken up with a a month before us...and i dont have a job yet...i just dont know how to deal with this...

[Finzsoftie]

 

 

Hi JessieLea,

 

Breakups are not easy! They never are, and in most cases they hurt one person more than they hurt the other. However, do you really want to be with someone who wants to experience the "college thing".

 

I know that you are feel sad now, but just think, he is younger than you. When he comes to his senses and outdid his stupid college thing and hang out with his friends and do everything he has to do then he will come back to you. And why in the world do you want to be the second choice for somebody?

 

There is something that I realised from a recent break up ... I realised that only TWO people can make a relationship work, and if someone doesnt want to be with me then it's absolutely their loss! I dont need to prove to them how great our relationships was, because trust me Jess, one day sooner or later they will lie in bed and it will eat them! If you know what i mean.

If you want to chat more, please pm me!

[bungalowone]

I have been avoiding him still, but what do i do when he calls? do i answer the phone? what do i say? how do i know if he's just calling because he just wants to be my friend or it's because he's missing me? i dont want to just be his friend, especially if he ends up seeing someone else

 

i really dont know what he's thinking...he never really said if we were on a break or whatever, but how do we just have idle chit chat when i still have all these emotions going around....