looking for forgiveness

[cute_one2003]

In October 2002 I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 in a half years it would have been 3 years in febuary 2003 but we got into a lot of fights and i blamed it all on him i also cheated on him when things started going down hill. I was 16 and he was 25 when we started dating I am now 19 he is 27 now. so you can say it was a 8 year diffrence. of coaurse i was unfaithful to him my grandfather is dying of cancer and he is not returning my phone calls to see if he will come to the funeral since he was really close to him. I am thinking of putting a article in the newspaper to show how much i care but i dont know if i should. I just want him to forgive me and i dont know what to do if you know what to do then let me know thanks alot. Here is a little poem I looked up which i am going to send to my ex. Forgiveness

Thou, I long to kiss you sweetly,

and press my lips to yours

you deny me all I'm worthy

and your closing all your doors.

I can't help but think I'm sorry

and that I have done you wrong

but I need to know you love me,

that you've loved me all along.

Can't you see that I still need you

that I long to feel your touch

I am dying here without you

cause I'm loving you that much!

Please won't you forgive me?

I'm needing you that bad

I'm sick and tired of crying

but I lost you, now I'm sad.

I should say I'm sorry

that I love you and I need you

but will that change the way you feel,

will that change the things you do?

I still long for loving,

all the great things that you are

knowing you'll forever be,

my forever, shining star!

 

 

can someone please help me? i desperetly need advice on if i should leave him alone or just call him and talk to him and tell him that im sorry for everything and if he will forgive me let me know what your advice is.

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

I think that what you are trying is great. Explaining your feelings and asking for forgiveness is always a good thing after making mistakes. It helps to heal.

 

I hope you do understand that depending on the mistakes made and the person you are asking to forgive you, wether you are being forgiven or not. Know that you can only do so much. If the person just doesn't feel like talking to you or forgive you, don't waste too much time. You have done everything you could.

 

The poem is great. I love the words and they are very meaningful. I send you my warmest regards and wish you good luck with your future.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[anon_0275]

Your efforts sound noble, and it seems you have put some thought into this. Let me offer this, however: You can forgive someone for doing what they did, but that doesn't mean they will now give you what you want. Do not confuse those two items: They are NOT interchangable. I may care for someone greatly; I may find what they may have done to me hurtful and unacceptable. I could, perhaps, with time and or persuasion, come to fogive someone for doing something. This does NOT mean however, that as soon as all is forgiven, all is forgotten. Because of this, I may not feel compelled to go out with someone again. I will hold nothing against them, but will choose not to go out again despite urging from the other. If that is the case, Swift is right: You can only do so much. If you've gained his forgiveness, that's great. It's a nice relief knowing someone doesn't harbor something against you; but don't expect to just hop into your lap again either. Sometimes gaining a sense of forgiveness is all you may receive.

[cute_one2003]

well thanks for the advice surprisingly i got a call from him last night but he only called to discuss the bills which thats not what i want to hear him say oh well if you have any more advice let me know

[ribitx2]

I hear what your saying, completely. What I believe happens in some cases is that the person you want to forgive you is not ready to do that yet. Which can mean, you get your feelings hurt, by their anger, and possibly even upset them more, by reentering their world and asking for forgiveness.

 

I just feel like it is more healthy for you to look towards yourself for the first steps of forgiveness.

 

The Basic Practice

There are three kinds of forgiveness, all interrelated. There is self-forgiveness, which enables us to release our guilt and perfectionism. There is the forgiveness we extend to others and receive from them, intimates and enemies alike. And there is the forgiveness of God that assures us of our worth and strengthens us for this practice.

 

All the spiritual traditions raise up the value of forgiveness, but many people still find it to be a nearly impossible ideal. Just start somewhere. Look truthfully at one hurt you have not been able to forgive. Identify any associated feelings you might have, such as anger, denial, guilt, shame, or embarrassment. Imagine what it would be like to live without feeling this offense. Then let it go.

 

Other steps may be necessary for healing — a confession of your contribution to the conflict, making amends, changing behavior, a commitment to the community — but giving up your claims for, and sometimes against, yourself is where you have to begin