need a guy's opinion 2

[kiki9]

hi again, i posted a topic earlier under need a guy's opinion so i guess you could call this post an addenum to the first. in summary in my first post i asked if this guy (who was drunk) who flirted with me if he was really interested or not...well i got my question answered this past saturday. he was basically following me around this party trying to get me to admit that i had a thing for him and asking my friends if i liked anyone. later that night we started talking, next thing i know we're making out for like 2 hours. but the weird thing is that he hasn't called me since that incident and it's been 3 days. and i ran into him today and he was acting normal (though i was the uncomfortable one) but his friends are acting sort of aloof towards me which i don't understand. he's confusing me. he says he's attracted to me, thinks i'm a fun person to be with, etc., but he won't even pick up the phone to call me. i don't know if he's serious about us being together or if i was just a "good time" if you know what i mean. what do you guys think?

 

thanks

[Gilgamesh]

So you made out with some drunk guy you just met , and wonder why he doesnt call you three days past.

 

If he was serious about you being together, you would have received a call the next day.

 

If he was looking for a serious relationship, do you think he would want one with a girl that made out with him right away, and all he had to do was follow you around a party drunk.

 

Wake up, you know what he wants, and it aint your heart. you could say it was a "good time".

 

Hey if your lucky, maybe there will be another party where he can get drunk again, and just maybe he'll call you up and you can have another "good time".

 

Sorry for the sarcasm there, but dont be naive, this guy doesnt have hold much value of you because you werent hard to get, you see guys want women, and if you want a guy, youll have hundreds no problem, but the easier and less "selective" you are, the less special they feel when you choose them! so in a way, by not being very selective and making out with this guy so soon, your telling him in a way, that, your easy. whether its true or not.

 

maybe im a little old fashioned, but I still remember the day that people got to know each other first before making out, maybe its just me.

[Turboz]

Forget him.

 

He's on a mission to proove to his mates that he could have you if he wanted you. He prooved it and you fell for it.

 

Sorry to say it but I doubt it will go anywhere. If he says he likes you but hasn't called he's not going to because he doesn't want any greif on his hands.

 

Remember there is someone out there for ya

[kiki9]

actually we have known each other for awhile and have the same friends, so i can't say he's some random person b/c i would consider him a friend. he had been showing interest since the beginning, before any of this happened and was asking my friend about me. according to everyone he's this super nice great guy who wouldn't do shit like this for no reason. maybe i am naive to think that he didn't just do this just to prove something. i'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt but the fact that he hasn't called me weirds me out. though he did approach me twice to talk to me. maybe i should go and talk to him and ask him upfront.

[Turboz]

You go and talk to him and ask him up front and you will look desperate for him.

 

Don't do it. Trust me on this.

 

If he thinks he can have you anytime he wants the challenge is gone and you will be messed around.

 

Let him think you lost interest in him and he can't have you. Flirt with him if he talks to you but don't chase. He'll be back.

 

Of course if he's not you could always call me

[kiki9]

what if i discovered that the guy in question was sober? does this change things up a bit?

[Turboz]

No.

 

Sorry but sometimes it's easier to act drunk rather than admit to being an idiot.

 

I've done it myself and used the excuse of "I was drunk" to excuse what I have done at social events. It happens.

 

If he hasn't called then he probably won't. On the other hand he could call in 2 months. Thats what happened to me with some woman I liked.

 

I thought she wouldn't call (after 2 bunches of flowers) I was told by someone she worked with she would call - She never did. I was quite disappointed.

 

2.5 months later, she decided to call me one night. Still trying to find out where thats going because I've been unable to contact her lately due to her job and travelling.

 

My point being don't expect anything. Just let it go. He may call but then it's a bonus but don't hang all your hopes on it. I did and I felt like crap for the next month. I really did feel bad and like I was a fool. I still do to a certain degree because though she's supposed to call me so we can meet up she still hasn't (The last time we spoke she realised who I was and that there's an age difference between us with HER being older).

 

I could write you advice here for the next 2 hours but I have to get to work. If you want more then email me: email removed

 

-Turboz

[Turboz]

I think cheap and easy is a bit too powerful for this young lady.

 

Perhaps overly keen yes. We've all been there. I certainly wouldn't say she is cheap or easy though. She is after ONE man. Does that make her cheap? - Or easy? - Because if it does then why isn't she after you and me?

 

I'd say she actually seems rather decent to want to give it a go with that 1 special person - Or at least someone that is special to her. There is nothing wrong with that at all.

 

Everyone gets keen on someone at some time. Others show it more, where as others hide it. I hide it to the people I like to the point where they simply never realise that I am infact interested - or they get at least very confused. Where my family/friends are concerned they know about nearly every woman I like.

 

I do think you've been a bit strong with the "Cheap and Easy" comments and I think you really should apologise.

 

-Turboz

[kiki9]

music is the key, i don't appreciate you calling me slutty, cheap, or loose. i don't consider myself any of those words nor did i tear off my clothes and sleep with the guy. you are quick to judge and i don't know why you assume that all girls are cheap or easy. i'm sorry if you don't seem to have any luck with women so you are quick to label them. it's a double standard...girls are easily branded sluts while guys are looked at in awe for the same type of behavior.

 

you need to get the facts straight before you jump to conclusions. for your information, i have talked to the guy since i last posted and yes, he indeed does want to take things further. he mistakenly thought that i was disinterested and was afraid of being rejected, basically he thought that i wanted to leave things the way they were and just forget that we had even made out. well needless to say when i approached him, thus ignoring all the advice that was given to me to stay away from him, and asked him what was up between us, i got an answer and we're going out this friday.

 

so this shows that what advice applies in one situation will not always apply in the next. everyone's situation is different, and i do thank everyone who gave me an honest and levelheaded answer. i do NOT appreciate being called cheap and i do not think that it is fair to brand all girls who find themselves in similar situations as such. guys are just as much to blame. but when's the last time you heard someone call a guy a slut?

 

thank you, turboz, for being understanding to my situation.

[Turboz]

No problem. If I put s smile on someone's face or made them feel good about themselves them my work is done.

 

Shame that Music is the Key can't find the key to his own stupid behaviour - I feel in his case a shrink would be the key to his mind.

 

Music: If you trying to upset the lady I'd say you did a bang up job.

[Music is the key]

Whatever..Shrink this,shrink that.......But She's not a lady,iam only being honest.She's Easy,cheap and stupid.......but her new boyfriend is more stupid.......Anyway Turboz...Good luck and enjoy your life.

[kiki9]

hahahahaha music is the key, your rationale amuses me. it really says something about a person when he cannot admit that he's wrong. i guess all your name-calling is a way to get back at all those girls who have wronged you, am i correct? anyways you can think what you want and keep those messages coming if they make you feel better about yourself. i mean all this catharsis must be good for someone.

[kiki9]

music, you really do amuse me, getting all angry at someone you don't even know. chill out and leave it. this is my life, so let me handle it the way i see fit. move on.

 

also i think it is pretty lame that you posted a message on thursday and then decide to come back 3 days later to call me a name...haha you must really not be able to get over this.

[tomekk]

haha, he's playing hard to get and you are falling for it, you're all over him. just play it cool girl, when you bump into him sometime just ask him if he wants to go somplace, he wont be able to back out