nemesis15ir Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 im going to lose my life's love! maybe she marry with a guy and me and she just dont know what to do,the guy will come to her home tomorrow to talk about it with her family. and the worst thing is her mum is desiding about her daughter, and she is so close minded, well we dont know what to do? unfortunately we are living in different countries and we only can meet each other only in summers. i know we are so bad luck but what we can do? she is in love with me and im in love with her and we even get marry together and we cant live without each other so how she can marry with a guy when she is a lesbian? we are so depressed and im scaerd she's doing some thing dangerous, but what can i do?please some one tell me. this is bullshit when your family wanna deside about your future and you cant do any thing. i mean this is her life and she should deside about it not her mum but how she can tell her mum that she's a lesbian and in love with a girl? please some one help us.thank you Link to comment
Aura Seeker Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 Well, if she is in a culture where they have arranged marriages, there isn't a lot either one of you can do. (if you want to stay close with your families) Also, it wouldn't be wise to express that she is lesbian. It does not sound like you are in Canada or the US. Sounds like India or surrounding. Also, she or you may think you are lesbian, because it is pretty traditional that the woman be a virgin in an arranged marriage, and her sexual or intimacy might have been shared as no other outlet. Do not put this girl in danger by saying anything. I am sorry about your situation. Just my opinion A Link to comment
nemesis15ir Posted September 17, 2003 Author Share Posted September 17, 2003 yes our situation is really bad. and as you said we are living in asia and she is living in one of the arabic countries and unfortunately in arabic countries girls dont have so much freedom for their lifes. i wanted to help her but her family is so rude i could take care of her in my country but she still has her family. i dont wanna share her with any body else and she thinks she wont live and go on with a man. i only can pray for her maybe she can escape of this situation! but im still hopeful that she will back to me again and no one will separate us again even her mum and dad. i dont wanna hurt her and say some thing that makes her to do some thing stupid or dangerous but what she can do,when she dosent want to marry with a guy, and i cant handel it any more? Link to comment
Aura Seeker Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 It is a very sad situation for sure. The only way I see is if she runs away, but there can be a backlash from that too. Sometimes, they don't think twice about killing lovers. Please be careful with any move you make. A Link to comment
nemesis15ir Posted September 17, 2003 Author Share Posted September 17, 2003 well thank you for your replies! i still have a littel hope. maybe she could fight for her life or changes her families mind. whatever she cant run away from home because of she doesnt have any body to understand her and take care of her. she even cant enter to my countries because she is living in saudi arabic. im feeling so depressed and i still cant believe this happen to us! please pray for us.. THANK YOU Link to comment
Aura Seeker Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 My prayers are with you. Stay safe, and just keep trying every avenue that you can that lets you and her remain safe. A Link to comment
Eve383 Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 My girlfriend and I have been pretty much married for about 7 years now. We are both in our mid-twenties. Our families have no idea that we are so in love with each other. We come from very strict Christian homes and could never really tell anyone about our relationship. We both date men occasionally just to keep up the norm, but it gets really difficult for both of us during that dating transition. We know what everyone expects from us: marriage, kids, family, etc. So we decided that's what we would do, but we can't. It is sooo hard. When she is dating and getting serious with a guy we fight all the time. She dated a guy for like 6 months and he got really really serious with her. It was so hard for me. I decided to go on a manhunt of my own. Not to hurt her but to find that guy I could marry, etc. Well, now she is broken up with him and so hurt for my getting just semi-serious with my boyfriend. I know it is an odd situation, but we do love each enormously, but we know that we could never be accepted by our families. We both would love to get married to each other and adopt or have kids, but then we realize that we are dreaming. How do we get passed this transitional stage? How do we end things on a good note with destroying an awesome friendship? Where do you get counseling for something like this? I don't want to lose her altogether. Please help... Link to comment
Aura Seeker Posted October 14, 2003 Share Posted October 14, 2003 Hi Eve, Your situation sounds horrible and makes for a very complicated life. I don't know a lot about these things, but what I do know is living a double life of any kind is hell. You can choose to live your life for your families, or you can choose to live your life for yourself. I would say that you two need to sit down and make a serious decision. Come out with it, or betray yourselves and live a life for your families? Acceptance usually happens, it may not be as bad with your families as you think. Just my opinion. ;-) A Link to comment
nemesis15ir Posted October 14, 2003 Author Share Posted October 14, 2003 we were so lucky because she didnt marry! i still cant believe that. OMG life was like hell for us,we both were in very very bad situation i was ready to beg her mum just doesnt do that i mean playing and deciding about her daughter's life i was ready to do every stupid thing, i cant imagine even one day to lose her noway. and i can feel your situation too, because its like ours. we really want to live together but first of all we need so much money and then i dont know maybe leave our families then it will be so hard you know and going to another country so far away from our families but i love my family so much i also dont wanna lose them,but i dont think they say no to us when they became sure that we can live without them. our real problem is her family. you know people are going crazy when they are in love with someone but they cant catch her/him and have her/him forever. god knows how much we want eachother but not in the dangerous way. we only can meet each other in summers but she told me she will try to come to meet me(it depends on her family to let her come to my country alone) this winter then we can celebrate the new year together it will be my best new year night! who knows maybe someday there wont be any different between gay and straight people and all just live in peace.. Link to comment
nemesis15ir Posted August 11, 2004 Author Share Posted August 11, 2004 she is all i have i wish she could underestand what i feel about her! Link to comment
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