so many problems, need girl advice

[strayjohnny]

Hi there,

 

I just started dating this girl about 3 weeks ago but we have been "seeing" each other for almost 5 months, we just recently decided to start dating, and since then i have been with her everyday. I always have problems where girls will like me so much if im not dating them but as soon as i start dating them it seems to go downhill for some reason and that is why i have never kept a relationship longer then 3 months

 

lately it feels like I am wearing off to my girlfriend, she doesn't call me near as much, she doesn't send me fun messages on my phone anymore, and she doesn't call me and ask me to come see her, im always the one that does that.

 

I asked her if she was mad at me yesterday and she said "no why would i be?"... i have no clue whats going on with her and its frustrating because im trying my hardest to keep this going because i like her so much.

 

im the first guy thats been the same age as her to date her.. all before me they were all 5-8 years older and they all cheated on her or started doing drugs.

 

It feels like im getting anoying to her or something like she wants to be single again, so ive limited calling her and seeing her to see if thats what she needs.. what else can i do?

 

shes not the kinda girl that likes a guy with money, or that brings her flowers, or takes her on nice dinners.. she wont let me buy her anything but yet she buys me everything. i really dont know what to do!?

[scotty77]

Look for someone else,I don't think she is interested much anymore.

[Dating Coach]

Hi there,

 

I just started dating this girl about 3 weeks ago but we have been "seeing" each other for almost 5 months, we just recently decided to start dating, and since then i have been with her everyday. I always have problems where girls will like me so much if im not dating them but as soon as i start dating them it seems to go downhill for some reason and that is why i have never kept a relationship longer then 3 months.

 

I'd say this is a sign that something you do in the relationship changes once you get more attached. Maybe moving too fast with your feelings for her? This does not include sex or such things, but instead with your clinginess and getting "too serious" too early. That would be my guess. You see this a lot when a girl starts feeling "trapped", as if the relationship has progressed past her feelings for the guy, which in turn kills her interest level and she starts wanting out.

 

lately it feels like I am wearing off to my girlfriend, she doesn't call me near as much, she doesn't send me fun messages on my phone anymore, and she doesn't call me and ask me to come see her, im always the one that does that.

 

Those are definitely signs that her interest level in you is waning.

 

I asked her if she was mad at me yesterday and she said "no why would i be?"... i have no clue whats going on with her and its frustrating because im trying my hardest to keep this going because i like her so much.

 

Bad move. You shouldn't have asked her if you did something to make her mad. It's far too wimpy. It's almost like a kid to his mother, "Was I bad?" It just comes accross as if she's the boss and you need to know whether or not you're keeping her pleased with you.

Instead you could be more of a grown up and started with something more assertive and strong such as; "I've noticed you've been acting distant lately..." and worked it out from there. Plus, you KNOW something is wrong so don't let this topic slide without getting into what the deal is.

 

It feels like im getting anoying to her or something like she wants to be single again, so ive limited calling her and seeing her to see if thats what she needs.. what else can i do?

 

shes not the kinda girl that likes a guy with money, or that brings her flowers, or takes her on nice dinners.. she wont let me buy her anything but yet she buys me everything. i really dont know what to do!?

 

Tell her that the relationship isn't going the way you want it and you want to know what's going on. If something isn't right you need to know so you can move on and find someone else. I think you need to be more assertive here, you've been acting like a helpless victim thus far. You're 50% invested in this too, and you need to watch out for yourself. If things aren't working out you need to do what's best for you and that is to walk away.

[strayjohnny]

alright well that helps alot

 

i just talked to her and i said "is everything okay with you? lately you seem mad or upset about something"

 

and she replied with "dont worry im fine, its my own things"

 

so i said "are we okay?"

 

and she said "no"

 

and said "whats wrong"

 

she said "haha im jk dont worry i have other stuff going on right now, but ill call you back in 20 minutes suzies calling me"

 

suzie being her friend... i think something else is going on with her... i just dont know how to handle it... she doesn't talk to me about stuff thats going on with her

[ves]

If you're seeing her every day, perhaps absense will make the heart grow fonder. Everyone needs their "me" time.

[ghost69]

i'd just wait for her to call you back. forget her for the time being. perhaps you are the questionable type which drives women nuts. "are you okay?" "where do you want to go eat?" "what do you want to do tonight?" not a lot of women want a pushover.

[strayjohnny]

yea i dunno... im gunna go see her today and see whats going on

 

its anoyying that i dont know what im doing wrong with girls. Not to brag but i can usually get any girl i want either at a club or a bar, even though im not as good looking as some of my friends it seems like i never have problems getting the girl i want, and they are always so attatched to me until i start dating them... and its instantly downhill, and i cant figure out how i am any different once dating a girl compared to when i am single.

[ghost69]

maybe you are so intriguing and fun to be around. then you smother the crap out of them or something. the guy shouldn't be more clingy than the girl.

[Raincheck]

we just recently decided to start dating, and since then i have been with her everyday. \

 

 

This is all you needed to say.

 

Too many people make this mistake. Where have you given her a chance to miss you? Be a man brother. It doesn't matter if she asks to see you everyday, HAVE A LIFE, say no once in a while...have hobbies, be a busy man that she wants attention from. You were too available, that's the problem.

 

Right now, you have two options: let it go. Or, don't call her. If she doesn't call back in a week, it's too late in my honest opinion. If she does, don't pick up, call the next day and tell her you were busy...stop trying to buy her stuff and instead stimulate her emotionally...make her laugh, talk about fun things...get her thinking and missing you, most importantly....get involved IN YOUR OWN LIFE.

 

Good luck.