forgetting someone

[Stinkweed]

It is not the first time I post about this. It has been a while, though... Before, however, it took me a very long time to forget. I just don't want to happen again... I just want to forget about this person quickly without having to resort to replacements. I don't want to go into detail, but let's just say that I never did anything intentionally wrong to them, and they didn't do anything wrong to me either. But I did make a big mistake at one point... It was a long time ago, and we haven't spoken since and we pretty much don't ever cross paths anymore anyway, but it is when we do that it is a problem for me... See, this person probably doesn't even remember I exist anymore, so I find it really sad that I do think about them at random moments throughout the day...

 

So, I started to count backwards from 10, and it worked for a bit, but then, last night, it happened... I had some weird-*beep* dream. And I didn't understand this dream really, but it did it freak me out man... I woke up and just thanked God it wasn't real... Again, I don't want to go into detail, but I can assure you that there was no death or anything messed up like THAT in my dream, but there was something else... It was like in the future or something, and I was an old screw up, just the contrary of who I wish I were... I mean, I looked pretty wealthy, but unhappy as hell and much older than what I was supposed to be. Suffice to say this dream freaked me out and in my dream I wanted to die, so I was so relieved when I woke up... Yeah, the other person, the one I'm trying to forget, was there too, and they were old too, but it was so damn realistic man... It didn't just look like that same person, or like somebody else, but it looked like that person is probably going to look at some point in their life... They looked a lot better than I did and stuff... Anyway, I don't think the person was the main reason I felt freaked out, but they sure as hell didn't help. And for some reason in the dream, among many other poor choices I felt I had made that I started to think about, mostly choices I've never made in my life, like being a workaholic working a job I hated, and being an unmarried 50 year old, the mistake I made with this person a while ago was one of those that came to my mind. Now, in real life, I didn't really sweat it, to be honest. I mean, sure, as soon as I made it, I thought I was a * * * * * * *, and that it sucked, but thought "well, that's life." And it's not like there was no resolution. However, in that stupid dream, apparently that was a very important thing. Now, I keep thinking about that stupid nightmare... Keeping busy doesn't help a lot, because as I work, it still comes to the back of my mind... So, a little bit of help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[robowarrior]

Brush that dream off, and replace it with this mentality.

 

Don't allow yourself be intimidated, play the game of life to win.

 

Choices in your life determine the reality that you live in, but its the knowledge how you form your own comfortable reality that is really important.

 

Some doors lead to heaven, some doors lead to hell.

 

You constantly have to avoid the doors that goto hell, and only go thru those doors that make your life heaven.

 

The only way to find happyness is to love and help other people, this is the true meaning of life. So if you choose for that, you'll end up in a state of heaven.

 

Hell or heaven is a state of mind, The amount of love determines the state of heaven, the amount of hatred the state of hell.

 

Its tricky, you see its not about choices made of free will, they claim that free will exists, but that's not entirelly correct. Its more like you either swim or sink type of construction.

 

That's why you have to earn what you receive in life.

 

Its simular like taking a bus , if it doesn't go where you want to, jump off, and take a bus that does take you where you want to go in life.

 

Simular you will have to constantly make choices for those heavenly doors that bring your life into something better.

 

Actually each choice that you make in life brings you either to hell or heaven, so if you only make those choices towards heaven, then you will prevent yourself from ending up like the miserable old man who dies unable to bring along the money beyond the grave that he has earned during his life.

 

Another important issue is to be able to 'unglue' yourself from someone.

 

Someone you love sticks like glue, and if there are unresolved issues your mind keeps wanting to create a solution for it, and it starts rumbling in a continues circle like some washing machine trying to deal/clean the glue.

 

The right thing to do is of course to take this unwashable glue out of your mind and throw it away. You see you can't control what someone else does. You can love someone ,but you can't hold them prisoner.

 

So you should never go into a relationship expecting it to work out, rather think: a girl can pack her bags and leave anyday.

 

So reasoning from that, you wouldn't have to let them go, because you didn't hold them captive in the first place.

[Stinkweed]

All you said makes sense and I agree. However, it's not really that I loved this person... It's something else. So, theoretically, it should be piece of cake for me to forget, to throw away the glue you were talking about... However, I dunno how to do it... I do think everything in life, not only friendships and relationships and all that, but just about everything, would be easier if we could do as you said... How do you achieve that state of mind?