desert_rose26 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 We're in a LDR and will be meeting for the first time next month. Eveytime he happens to call me, I'm there to talk to him. When there's nothing more for me to say, I try to end the conversation. I'd like to do this more often but it's very hard. When I'm about to end it, I suck at it...and sound unconfident about doing so. This probably appears weak. I don't want that! I need some backbone. I have the will to end the convo, but I need it to sound good while I'm doing it. I don't know how to end it Naturally without sounding odd. If I say "well, I gotta go now." It doesn't sound good. It sounds too sudden. I've done it before but is there a better word(s)? I don't want to sound rude. Whever he ends the convo, it's seems natural. I've used his words before but I don't want to be a copycat.lol. ***Also, I want to also appear to be "busy" at least sometimes when he calls so he feels I'm not all about him. But the thing is, I enjoy hearing from him a lot and I feel happy when he calls so it's soo hard to say "oh! I'm busy at the moment". To me, if I'm NOT busy and say I am, it's similar to lying. I'm a bad liar and never lie at all anyways. Anyone with simliar experience? I also needed to get this off my chest because it's been buggin me a bit. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 What I do is try to end the conversation on a high note - not when it dies down to silence. I then say "I'm glad we got a chance to talk - are you around tomorrow?" or something like that. Or I say "well I better call so and so before it gets too late" etc. with my bf now, for our nightly conversations we usually end it because it's getting late. Sometimes we've just shared all the news of the day and there's a natural end where we say "good night - love you" or something like that. What makes it easier is we have lots of friends and interests in common and know each other's families well so there is always a lot going on - sometimes fun, sometimes serious, whatever. We never get bored and we talk usually twice a day by phone and do some emailing too. Link to comment
StarLily Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 desert_rose, your situation sounds identical to mine! oO I don't remember the last time I ended a conversation. I need to do that more often. I too feel like if I end the conversation, he will think that something is wrong. He knows that I don't have friends here and that I study or.. watch TV or...shop. Well he's kind of the same way. So, it's hard to make up an excuse about friends and going out and all that stuff.... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 desert_rose, your situation sounds identical to mine! oO I don't remember the last time I ended a conversation. I need to do that more often. I too feel like if I end the conversation, he will think that something is wrong. He knows that I don't have friends here and that I study or.. watch TV or...shop. Well he's kind of the same way. So, it's hard to make up an excuse about friends and going out and all that stuff.... There's a common theme here - to me for there to be a healthy -- or healthier -- relationship, both people have to have independent fun, fulfilling lives. Link to comment
StarLily Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Some people just don't have friends... I've had problems having good friends all my life. Most of the time what they do is stop being my friends once someone "cooler" rolls around. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 The best way to appear busy is to be busy. Take up a new hobby, join an interesting class, make a date with friends - find something besides this man to occupy yourself with. As for ending the conversation, what I tended to do was give a "warning" - like, "Okay, I need to go in a few minutes." That lets you finish the discussion you're having, and still manage to get away without seeming abrupt or rude. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Some people just don't have friends... I've had problems having good friends all my life. Most of the time what they do is stop being my friends once someone "cooler" rolls around. Then get out there and do activities on your own - whether volunteer or otherwise. You owe it to yourself and your relationship to "have a life." Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted April 8, 2007 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Thanks for ALL the suggestions guys. I would say that I am a busy student BUT of course I "always have time for him". (We don't talk a LOT - on the phone 2-3 times a week.) I don't want him to think he's all THAT...all the time Starlily: yeah, we are in a similar boat together. It's hard meeting true friends nowadays than in highschool. A couple of close friends of mine that I do have right now are from highschool! I have a lot of interests but still find it hard to meet people similar to me who can hit it off. I'm also picky who I'm friends with - could also be a reason. Batya: I will definitely take your advice about ending it on a high note instead of waiting until there is nothing to say. I think I've done that once and it was great. Will try that next time he calls. Aleadragonhawk: Your method of a warning sounds promising together with batya's advice. I'll put them together and hope to get bibitybopityboo. Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted April 11, 2007 Author Share Posted April 11, 2007 well, Update today I ended the convo. I said I had to go soon to do something and then awhile later, I did. yay. However, I couldn't end it on a high note because there wasn't much to talk about and I wasn't really in the mood to talk...oh well, at least I ended it. Link to comment
run_little_rabbit Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 Ours usually end with "Can I let you go? I gotta poop..." hahaha But sometimes neither of us have much more to say, but we don't want to say goodbye either. Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted April 11, 2007 Author Share Posted April 11, 2007 LOL...don't think I'll be saying that anytime soon..good one though. Link to comment
StarLily Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 Ours usually end with "Can I let you go? I gotta poop..." hahaha But sometimes neither of us have much more to say, but we don't want to say goodbye either. LOL that's priceless! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 Part of being comfortable in a relationship is being able to say "ok, done with you for now - speak to you tomorrow!" and knowing that the other person is taking it exactly in the spirit it was intended. Link to comment
StarLily Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 Part of being comfortable in a relationship is being able to say "ok, done with you for now - speak to you tomorrow!" lol that's kind of mean Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 11, 2007 Share Posted April 11, 2007 You miss the point - when it's meant jokingly and lovingly it is not mean at all -it's a private joke between the two of you and because you are comfortable and get each other it is playful, not mean. Link to comment
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