I need a frined

[KB]

My husband of 9 years is driving me crazy. I love him, but the last couple years he has become emotionally needy. He will go a couple days and be happy and nice. Than, for no apparent reason his mood changes to sad, alone, hopeless. He told me this morning that he feels like hes living in a hotel, alone. Hello! I'm in the same room...I held him, and supported him the same way I done for the past few years. I'm really not enjoying it. I feel like I must give him this attention. I don't want him feeling bad. No one wants to see anyone sick. Yet, I feel there is something wrong. He says that I can make him happy. I try explaining that happiness comes from the inside. Neither people or things can force you to be happy. It doesn't work. He gets upset and says I don't love him. This cycle is driving me away............what can I do?

[ghost69]

are you hooking up with him sexually?

[scarew]

Does he respond to you when you are very assertive? I mean if you look him in the eyes and say, "I love you more than anything. Which is why it hurts me so bad that you are feeling unhappy when I feel helpless to do anything about it. If you know what you feel is missing from our relationship, I need you to tell me so I can help. If you don't know, then how can I know?"

 

Encourage more communication from him. Maybe its something he cannot pinpoint and you two should see a counsellor. Me and my partner are seeing one and it is really helping both of us on a personal level so that we funciton better together as a unit.

[Beec]

Well, it seems very much to me that he doe shave something going on inside. He seems like he probably has gotten dependent while you are relatively more independent and that is getting him to feel needy. it might help for him to get some other activities to do, to build something independent of you in life, so he can some home from it to you.

 

If you cannot do that, I think he need some counseling.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Sounds to me like hes going throw the male menopause, hes Testosterone levels have colapses as hes not making less, so hes getting more emashanal and needy, tell him to go see his doc and see if supliments help, they can test for Testosterone levels, a lot of men in midlife crises have this at the core of there problems

[doyathink]

I feel just like your husband...blah!

Sometimes being married is lonelier then being single!

[ghost69]

i reread it. he is changing. for good or bad i can't really say. but i agree on the male menopause thing.