Dreams about an ex :(

[SexySadie7]

I had a dream last nite about my ex. I've been having a hard time getting over him because basically he just stopped calling me... and for no reason.

He was always incredibly unreliable so the dream fits. Noneless, it was troubling.

For some reason I was traveling from outside the continent and was staying at some hotel or some place where people all had their own rooms.

I found my ex-bf staying in this large room but he wasn't alone. There was a few other people in the room, and one of them was this blonde woman, who was attractive, but very unfriendly to me.

I got to see to my ex-bf.. and said that I really need to talk to him. I was, after all, coming from outside the country, and only had 2 more hours or days (I don't remember which) in which I had an opportunity to see him.

I remember the girl was from the south and was very hostile to me. I looked in his closet... while I was in his room and I see there evidence that the girl is staying with him. There are several pairs of spike high heels in the closet. She was being very coy and friendly to him, and he was being very strange to me.

He told me that I couldn't really see him.. he couldn't take the time!

I also remember being really hurt and frantic.. but walking down the hall and there was a service going on, you know, like you were in church! I remember feeling comforted and a bit relieved to be with religious people. I sometimes do go to church, at least once a month, I'd say.

It's funny i would have this dream. i know he's moved on..(he never calls me or talks to me, ever) and i wonder if this dream means he's found someone else! I am sometimes pretty phsyic (sp?) in my dreams. I've predicted unbelieavable stuff and then it came true.

Anyway.. the whole other woman being from the south, I know the connatation of that. He was from the south and I wasn't.. and I think he was a bit prejudiced about northerners. He's made a comment or two to me in real life making me think he's not very broad minded.

Anyway.. it was SUCH a vivid dream!

Has anyone else had dreams about their ex shortly after they broke up?

I remember the last guy I was quite seriously about I'd dream about him all the time... It wish I knew more about dreams. I wonder, perhaps, if the person you are dreaming about, was thinking of you, the day you dreamt about them?

[darkpumpkin]

I wish dreams were more then what we need to work out in our heads. I wish I could believe that dreams actually will tell the future or that someone is thinking about us. But really in my experiance I've found that all the hundreds of dreams about ex's have been my mind trying to deal with different things that had happened.

[arwen]

Hey sadie,

 

I in fact still have dreams about my ex of 3 years ago, and sometimes they can haunt me all day! I recently dreamed about the ex again and I felt so incredibly sad afterwards.

 

But my feeling/take on things like these is as follows. I think that when your heart has really been broken, part of the healing from the pain is not a conscious process. Part of getting over that person, happens when we rest, and it can show in our dreams. The content of the dreams is not always explicitly representative of course. Obviously, after THREE years I am over the ex. We don't speak at all (my decision) and I am in a very happy relationship at the moment. But still, the good things that are happening between me and my bf sometimes remind me of what was missing and hurting in my past relationship. I think that that is why I occasionally dream about it. The good thing is that sometimes these dreams make me extra-aware of what I have now, and how good it was that the past relationship was not forever.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Arwen

[SexySadie7]

Whoa.. this is so strange.. I have this incredibly vivid dream about my ex. Today I tried to call his cell phone to ask him about a message he left me and when I make the call, there is a message saying, "This is not a working number!"

Gosh.. i don't know how to get a hold of him, he doesn't have any other number, short of going to his place, which i don't think is so prudent, given this dream.

I hope he's okay.. He's kind of flighty.. and doesn't have the best judgement calls. Of course, everything could be fine and he's just changed carriers.

[dani_katze]

SexySadie7,

I think we dream about issues we've in real life. And I think this may be your case.

 

I had a hard time to get over a guy I got emotional involved with, although it was just sex... I dreamt about him many many times. After I decided to stop contacting him, I dreamt that I was mad at him and he tried to use me again (and in fact as soon as I stopped contact, he made a lot of hung ups!).

 

I won't suggest you to contact him, specially if you have a hard time getting over him and because he's an unrealiable person.

 

I'd suggest to leave your mind liberate your hear from that relationship. Time heals... it did heals me.

[SexySadie7]

Although EVERYONE advises NO CONTACT.. to me it just means NO CLOSURE. No.. I don't plan on never contacting him again.

I don't know what's going on in his life.. but it wasn't just sex. I really liked this guy. And he seemed like he really liked me there too.

I think I just need to talk to him and see what's happening. If he's an absolute jerk, then it will be easy to move on... There are just too many unanswered questions and for me personally, I have a hard time dealing with ? that never ever get answers than finding out what's going on.

I don't know.. his phone been turned off, he's still in the same tiny apt. he was in before that he swore he'd be out of quick soon.

Could someone please tell me how to use the ignore feature??

I need to put someone on this board on ignore, they keep sending me extremely insulting messages in my post and in my state of mind, I don't need to be hassled by any more people from this board.

[cristal]

Sadie, closure should come from his actions. Remember that old cliche that actions speaks louder than words? It is still true.

 

I had a similar situation happened to me where he disappeared after a 4 month relationship, without bothering to break it off. That was almost 4 months ago. I was devastated. The first 3 months, I thought the pain would never end. But I held my held high, hung on tightly to my pride and dignity and and never once called or e-mailed him. He called me twice during that period and I was polite, but I never initiated contact. And I never will. For me, it is all about self-respect.

 

As Blender so succintly put it, "you have to separate your feelings from facts". The fact is, that he knows how to contact you and he is not making the effort. You have to get your closure from his actions. Sometimes thats all that you have. Trust me if he was thinking about you and wanted to be with you, he would have moved mountains to do so. The fact that he isn't doing that, speaks volume about how he feels about you.

 

For your own sanity, make peace with it in your mind, and do not contact him. Any actions on your part will breed desperation and that my friend is very unattractive.

 

Maintain No Contact until you regain control of your emotions, and if necessary, I would say maintain No Contact forever. He is not worth it the dime.

 

Good luck!