Why is breaking up so emotional for two women?

[LONESOUL]

I think I just need to rant for a minute...why is it when two women break up

it feels like h*ll's fury has been unleashed. It's so deeply emotional on both parts. Maybe it's like that in hetro relationships too but wow...

We were together 7 years, but we have been apart for 8 months now..

I'm so ready for these feelings to be gone! Anyone else feel this way?

[olivejuice]

Well first off 7 years is a long time ... tons of memories ... and most likely spent building significant bonds with each other. I was together in an LDR for 2 years and after being apart for a few months it feels the same way as you described (granted, I was more angry with her in the beginning so it helped - but now I'm back to thinking about the 'better' times we spent).

 

Are you angry with her or missing her madly?

[LONESOUL]

Hi OJ~

Oh, so both. Like you I was angrier earlier on, but now I just miss what we

had. I miss having the deep connection with someone. I miss holding her at night, and I miss how she would roll over and tell me she loved sleeping with me because she felt so safe..

Like you said 7 years is a long time to build some very significant bonds.

It's so emotionally and passionately driven, the whole thing, the realtionship, the love,the sex the break up, all of it. Thanks so much for responding. I

really would like to hear from others on this.

[millaj]

They say it takes one month for every year you were together to heal. But I don't know if that's true. I know how much it hurtson both ends (bi).. I've seen men hurting really bad too.

[LONESOUL]

Oh yes that is true, I have many male friends, and they hurt every

bit as much as the women, I just meant that...I'm not sure I can explain it,

it's so explosive..so much raw emotion and conversation and I don't know drma sometimes with women...I don't know, but I'm not so sure it's a good thing..***sigh***

[Deviant_Kate]

I kind of know what you mean. I feel like the emotional bond and the closeness I have with my girlfriend is more intense than any relationship I could ever have with a man. It only makes sense that the emotions run just as deep during a break up.

 

And as women, I think it's more difficult for us to cut contact after a relationship dissolves. So you never give the wound a chance to heal - you just rub salt in it all the time by talking to or seeing your ex. If you can't get over her, the best thing to do in my opinion would be to sever all ties. I know that's not possible in some situations (you work together, you share children, or you have all the same friends, same hang outs, etc...), especially after sharing your lives for 7 years, but it's worth trying if you're able to.

 

It was so much easier for me to get over my ex once we stopped trying to be "friends."

[LONESOUL]

"I feel like the emotional bond and the closeness I have with my girlfriend is more intense than any relationship I could ever have with a man. It only makes sense that the emotions run just as deep during a break up. "

 

Yes, thats what I am saying Kate, thanks.

You're right, we haven't spoken for 2 weeks now, in some ways it better,

but NC has its own downers...