Parents Fighting|Pissing me Off|Fear of Divorce|Advice Plz

[glegend]

Alright her the situation. Just like any couple they have there problems. Recently theyve started fighting alot. Its pissing my off I'm fearing divorce. My mom only makes minimum wage, my dad has a construction business (which should be managed better but hes stubborn) so he gets paid when the job is done. For the past 3 weeks my dad has been doing some work for my grandpa which hes pissed off about cause my grandpa is a real cheap skate and has only paid my dad 300.00 and its practically a whole basement construction which this leads my parents to be fighting. Now there are a whole lot of other things as well that contribute but thats the biggest thing next to my dad complaining that my mom says shes looking 4 another job but she checks at midnight and send resumes days later. My mom is upset cause she thought when my dad took on construction as a full time job the money situation would get better but didn't it got worse.

Now this isnt healthy for me or my sister which I worry about cause she's only 11 (grade 5). Many nights it leads to me tricking my sister into going for ice cream with my girlfriend, going to my girlfriends house or to a movie/mall or arcade basically any place away from home. Now this really pisses me off cause I dont like this fighting I feel its going to lead to divorce eventually. Like I want to just grab my sister and just walk out on them both and say when we can be a family then we will come back. Also I also just drive around town like going up and down streets till the wee hours of the night when I know they will be asleep or I spend the night at my girlfriends house I need some serious advice, so if anyone could help that would be great.

[gur]

You should try talking to your parents and see if you can appeal to their better senses. If they truly love you and your sister, they should realize what they are doing to you both. They should be able to be the adults they are and be able to sort this out without affecting their children.

[glegend]

I can't talk 2 them. I fight with my parents as well, like we have our good days and our bad days this would be a bad day and in the end it would become a big brawl and my sister doesn't like it when I'm upset

[blender]

Well, someone in your family needs to have the courage to "let their guard down and express concern".. and it might be you.. you seem like a smart, considerate, hurt young man.. but I believe you do have the guts to gather up all your courage, leave any stubborn anger at the door, and ask your parents if you can talk to them for a minute.. and then you open the lines of communicating and healing by telling YOUR truth, in a loving, mature, courageous way, and if you feel better writing in a letter, that would work as well, and give them both their own copy of it..something like this:

 

Mom and Dad, I'm concerned that there seems to be so much anger in our house, and yes I'm a part of that too.. but I hope that you both can find some love for each other, or at least for me and my sister, to try to have some understanding and compassion to talk things through without so much anger and resentment, it's hurting all of us, and I believe we can all do better, I pray you will consider getting some therapy, or at the very least just make an effort to talk things through and make some plans to resolve your issues/conflicts with some love and understanding.. it's too painful the way it's been going, and it's making me so sad, and I know it's having a negative effect on all of us. I realize that your life, work situations and issues can be overwhelming at times, and I'm sorry it's a tough time for us..but I know you love each other, and I think maybe you've forgotten how to do so in a healthy way... so please make an effort to talk to each other, and to me.. I want to help in any way that I can, but I can't do this alone... so thank you for listening, I love you both so much.

[glegend]

You think I should add in if they dont stop I'm outta there and I'm taking my sister with me?

[blender]

No, I don't think it's a great idea to make any 'emotional threats"... start with "kindness" even if it's tough for you to do so... if you can be honest, kind, and lovingly mature in your approach, it will most likely have a "humble" effect on them... give "goodness" in yourself a try first, before you ask for it from them... you can be the "hero" here, you are concerned for good reason, so try writing it out to them from your "concerned" point of view, and not an "angry" point of view... remember you get more bees with honey.