A (Small?)Delusion/Psychotic Episode

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Just venting.

 

Two nights ago, I was staying at my boyfriend's house. We have been together a long time; him, his house and his cat etc are all comfortable and familiar to me.

 

I have a history of several whacky mental problems. My last official diagnosis was Bipolar Disorder.

 

I have had several episodes of psychosis in my life, over the past four years.

 

Examples:

-I thought I was the next incarnation of Christ

-I was CONVINCED the world would end on a certain day at 6am and made all the necessary preparations etc

-I was utterly convinced that I had died and was in fact just a visitor from the spirit world.

 

 

This particular evening was fairly normal. We'd been out for some meal or other, went back to his house, went to bed. Had quite a lot of sex. I have a charmed life in many respects, I admit it.

 

Then, about 10.30pm, I began hearing droning noises. They sounded rather like very large aeroplanes going over the house. Shortly after, I heard shrieks, followed by the sounds of children screaming.

 

Then the bombing noises started.

 

It took me a couple of hours to "come down". I walked all over the house, and would not be pacified. My boyfriend behaved very well; he tried to get me to lie down and watch a movie to distract me, whilst constantly telling me that "There are no noises, Emily. There are no noises, they'll go in a minute. I promise, Im here to look after you".

 

It was a long time before I believed the world wasn't the site of World War Three.

I kept looking out of the window, except I could hardly bare to, owing to the "inevitable carnage" I'd see...except of course I didn't.

 

It was HORRIBLE.

 

Whats the point of my brain doing this? I was lucky to be where I was at the time...even the day after, my boyfriend simply told me the unemotional version and said whilst it was disturbing, it was nothing he couldn't handle.

 

Stupid BRAIN. I'm right in thinking this was a small psychosis incident, yes? Noises weren't there at all in reality.

 

Today I got an IQ test back - I do not place UTTER faith in such methods, but its still heartening - I am more intelligent than 91% of the population. Fabulous. Id just like not to hear nonexistent sounds!

[Jetta]

Go for another evaluation. I was hearing voices that weren't there, and diagnosed with schizophernia (there are different types yours will include bipolar). Meds are awesome! Took a while to kick in but they really help. I asked about getting addicted to them because I love them so much. I never had an episode before the one that lasted for months. So I'm sure yours is a different version. Look into it.

[PrincessJOA]

wow...thats quite an experience! Like Jetta said, do go for another evaluation

[Hope75]

Auditory Hallucinations are definitely more common with schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder. They can be brought on by lack of sleep, stress, and sensory deprivation, or just spontaniously occur with a mental health disorder.

 

I'm not the least surprised by your IQ score, Emily. You are a very bright woman and it shows. It's not unusual for someone with a thought disorder to be of above normal intelligence.

 

Like Jetta, I would recommend a second opinion. My guess is you may have something more like schizoaffective disorder, which is a thought disorder (schizo) and a mood disorder (bipolar) combined. It would explain if you had wild swings of mania and depression as well as the auditory hallucinations.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Thank you for all your sympathetic and helpful responses.

 

I do have bizarre moods that are extreme by most peoples' standards, but it varies a lot.

[Locke2121]

WEEE! Psychotic episodes, the brain's answer to LSD. But like LSD, your having a horrible trip, and you can't get off!

 

Go to the doctor and tell them everything! You need a reevaluation and a drug regime that will depress the brain centers that are doing this to you. I just came off a college abnormal psych class, so I can tell you that medication and counseling can really work wonders for psychotic breaks like this.

 

Good luck!

[shadow34]

Id like to actually say I commend your boyfriend for being so supportive.

 

Your a very lucky person and you obviously deserve only the good things in life..

 

Are you on meds, if so what ones???

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

No, I refuse meds.

 

From what I gather, people What Are Built Like Me tend to have recurring problems for many years to come. I'll probably end up on medication - at this rate, most certainly - and I wish to delay that.

[Hope75]

I'm curious,

 

AntiLove,

 

What makes you Antimedication?

[ladyspirit]

Auditory Hallucinations are definitely more common with schizophrenia, or schizoaffective disorder. They can be brought on by lack of sleep, stress, and sensory deprivation, or just spontaniously occur with a mental health disorder.

 

Like Jetta, I would recommend a second opinion. My guess is you may have something more like schizoaffective disorder, which is a thought disorder (schizo) and a mood disorder (bipolar) combined. It would explain if you had wild swings of mania and depression as well as the auditory hallucinations.

 

Schizoaffective disorder is when you can have delusions ( thought disorder) or hallucinations without a mood component for at least a week, with, at other times, "highs" (mania= mood/ affective component) and thought disorders and / or hallucinations. Bipolar is when your delusions (thought disorder) or hallucinations only occur when you have a mania, then disappears as soon as your mania goes away. That's the difference.

 

Do you smoke pot? I would drop it if you do, as it triggers episodes.

[ladyspirit]

Just read that you want to delay taking antipsychotics. But nowadays, they don't have as much adverse side-effects.

The symptoms you have are caused by chemicals in your brain that are imbalanced and not working properly. Antipsychotics help reestablish that balance.

As with other medical conditions, the longer you wait, the worst your future symptoms and episodes will become.

[luxen]

You are very lucky to have had your boyfriend there with you. I am impressed at how calm he stayed in spite of being so worried for your safety.

 

I think meds might help you a lot.. but only if you are willing to try it. I would see how your evaluation goes, and talk to your doctor about your alternatives from there.

 

Good luck!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Holy...No WAY do I smoke pot!

 

I'm sorry, I cant help but be slightly offended. I am vehemently anti cannabis. I have never, ever smoked it.

 

I'm not bothered what I have, I just want to feel Alright!

 

But I thank you for taking the time to reply.